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i feel like an awfull mum please some help needed looonnngg!!!!

(8 Posts)
mothersmilk Sat 24-Oct-09 13:39:38

i have dd 3 and ds 1 and at the moment it just seems as though im constantly shouting telling off and punishing i used to love being a mum i felt as though i had found my calling ( corny i no) now i hate it, ds is very clingy to me and dh so we never leave him with family to go out unless he's asleep he's also very active both my dc's are and i love it but sometimes its too much he is constantly getting into things he's not supposed to pulling everything out of cubourds and there is only so much i can baby proof also when he cant get into were he wants he paddies dd 3 has just started being very stroppy and rude telling me no not listening doing what i have told her not to she's very bright and i am finding it hard to find time to entertain ds and stimulate her make sure trhey bothe get some fresh air and keep ahead of all the house work and believe me its never ending as i have dss aswell and the house still looks like a bomb has hit it and keep a relationship between me and dh i ended up smacking dd today because i had told her to stop doing something for the umptinth time and went ahead and did it again anyway i feel awfull but i dont know what to do i gave up smoking two years ago and desperatly felt i needed one today, thankyou for listening

mothersmilk Sat 24-Oct-09 14:19:55


labyrinthine Sat 24-Oct-09 14:47:30

Poor you ~ trying to do everything for everyone,tired,two young dcs,dh to "look after"[ironic grin], cooking,cleaning,worrying and the rest.

This stage won't go on for ever,you need to pace your self,get rest and hand over any jobs you can to family and friends because it's very hard to do it all alone.

You don't have to be perfect to do a perfectly good job ~ try to stay calm and act like the grown up and you'll be fine.Some days will go well and some not so well but they will find their own way to develop and it will get easier.

My first two were extremely creative and "busy" so I really feel your pain ~ but then they grow up to be clever and creative people so don't feel you are doing anything wrong sounds like you are doing a pretty gret job just go easy on yourself.

labyrinthine Sat 24-Oct-09 14:48:17


LeninGhoul Sat 24-Oct-09 14:52:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChewyToffeeMum Sat 24-Oct-09 16:51:36

Are you me?
I have DD 3yrs and DS 1yr also and I could have written your post.
I don't have any advice other than to say that things seem to run smoother when I try to do less with them and let them potter about rather than doing activities like I did with DD.
I just keep telling myself it will get better soon once DS grows out of compulsive cupboard opening and shelf climbing (he will, won't he?)

KnottyLocks Sat 24-Oct-09 16:56:46

Does your house look like it's been burgled too? I finally removed mascara from 4 days ago this, how that helps the eyebags.blush

lovelifetoday Sat 24-Oct-09 17:00:07

I really do feel for you - I remember this one well. I used to have a cupboard with all my tupperware in and this was an OK cupboard for my two daughters to unpack. I must admit I did get fed up with picking them up but it did seem to keep them away from the other cupboards.
I do think sometimes children go through a stage where they always want to check that the rules are still the same and that they are not negotiable. My intelligent brain tells me that this is OK and understandable but my emotional brain that also needs to do dinner, clean, tidy etc etc just didn't always buy it.

I wish you every luck it is a really hard phase and when you are living through it you have no idea when it will end.

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