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Mums who always thought they wanted a girl .........

(40 Posts)
chocolatemunchies Wed 21-Oct-09 21:54:19

do you actually feel really content and complete after having 2 boys?

chocolatemunchies Wed 21-Oct-09 22:16:30


ChasingSquirrels Wed 21-Oct-09 22:19:01

I LOVE my 2 boys.
I do wish I had a girl, and I won't be having anymore - but if I did then while I would love a girl, I would also love another boy.

Complete - no, I think I will always want a 3rd child.
Content - oh yes, very much so.

PacificWerewolfwoohood Wed 21-Oct-09 22:23:59

I am currently expecting DS4 and am more upset that I will now never be using the girl's name I had my heart set on since I was about 12 blush than the actual fact that I will not be mother to a girl, IYKWIM?

I love having my 3 boys and another boy will keep things simple wink - total pink-free zone, this house. Which is just as well, as I was never a very girly girl.

I am content AND complete smile.

Wilts Wed 21-Oct-09 22:28:08

I love my two boys to bits however, we are not complete as we want a third child. This is not because we wish to try for a girl though,a third boy is fine by us grin

Booooooooooyhoo Wed 21-Oct-09 22:41:13

i love having two boys, but yes i want to buy pink dresses.

i am content-ish

but not complete.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Wed 21-Oct-09 22:46:29

I love my boys to bits..
I have always wanted a girl, I miss the dream of having a girl.
I look at girls clothes,
However, I LOVE playing with the trains with the boys, they love cooking with me and I thought I would only get that with girls.
They love snuggling and I thought I would only get a physical warmth from a girl... No idea why I thought that.

We are not going to have more children ( I would love to DH doesn't) so 2 boys it is.

I hope to feel complete at some point, but am content.

Quattrocento Wed 21-Oct-09 22:51:43

Interested in this thread for a variety of reasons, despite having a girl and a boy

My DD climbs trees, climbs everything, sports-mad, fiercely independent, blah blah

My DS cooks with me, very tactile and cuddly, loves dressing up and acting and is very sensitive.

I just don't think gender stereotypes work. Or they don't work for my children anyway.

mice Wed 21-Oct-09 22:51:46

When my boys were younger I felt a little sad that I didn't have a girl - I'm not really sure why though now when I look back. I think I had always had in my head a picture of a perfect family being a boy and a girl - (I only ever wanted two) - but - now they are 12 and 13 I couldn't be more content. I am glad they re both the same sex - I think it makes friendships/sharing/family outings etc etc much simpler, I have a love of all things girly myslef - but in a grown up way so am delighted to have never had barbie etc in the house.
My boys really look after me and I definitely have the upper hand in the house over all the males!! Not sure I would find that so easy with more female hormones to contend with.

I think now I realise I wanted a girl because they are perceived to be easier, because I wanted to buy dresses and pretty things and because I wanted someone to go shopping with when they were older.

The reality as I perceive it now is that boys may be boisterous and nosiy when little - but they are far simpler to understand - they don't fall in and out of friendships frequently like lots of their female friends and they really are very caring.

I couldn't be happier and more content with my boys now - they are hard working, kind, good friends and full of fun - I'm sure I would feel the same if they were both girls or one of each - because I think we really do learn to be content and see how lucky we are - but truthfully my family couldn't be more complete!

shabbapinkfrog Wed 21-Oct-09 22:55:38

I have had four wonderful sons - they make my life complete....also have added to my boys with a beautiful grandson (now 16 months) girls frighten me hmm they are scary, very capable, cant be fooled, and are mini women grin Boys are truly delightful

diddle Wed 21-Oct-09 23:19:18

mice - your lovely post almost made me cry.
I have 3 boys, still young, 3,2 and 6 months. I always wanted a girl, i'm close to my mom and wanted the relationship i have with her with my own daughter.
We're not having any more children, i'd love more but DH doesn't.
Its so lovely to hear of someones account of wonderful teenage and boys. Made me feel very happy.

Boys are wonderful, so cuddly and loving, i love my boys, and am very content, i can't commit to complete, thats a tough one.

shabbapinkfrog Wed 21-Oct-09 23:21:41

Beautiful post Mice - I agree with every word xx

cory Thu 22-Oct-09 07:30:04

I get so tired of the: 'oh, boys are so straightforward, girls are so manipulative' thing though (repeated at great length by MIL when dd was born).

Ds is far less open and straightforward than dd; my brother is far more interested in emotions than I am. One of my brothers, that is, the other two are totally different.

Whatever you give birth to, it's going to be an individual.

And you can't get every girl into pink dresses, so any regrets on that score may be totally wasted.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Thu 22-Oct-09 08:10:35

I have 2 most wonderful boys and I do feel totally complete and contented with our family the way it is.

They are the best of friends, have very similar interests although in many ways they have completely different personalities. I can't have anymore but if we had I was always convinced we would have had a 3rd boy anyway, there aren't many girls on either side of the family.

Lizzylou Thu 22-Oct-09 08:13:01

Yep, I really do.
Have never wanted more than 2 DC, I have 2 DS's and I am not planning on "trying for a girl" no matter how many people ask me (last week it was the hairdresser, school run Mom and the milkman shock).
Content and complete here.

chocolatemunchies Thu 22-Oct-09 12:30:06

Thankyou - honest comments!

chocolatemunchies Thu 22-Oct-09 13:08:30

ByThePowerOfGreyskull stunning birth picture, brought a tear to my eye. Oh and amazing cakes too! What a domestic goddess!

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Thu 22-Oct-09 13:17:52

bless you thank you Chocolatemunchies smile

controlfreek Thu 22-Oct-09 14:23:33

mice and shabbapink.. it's lovely to hear how things are fast forward... grin

being a girl myself personally its been hard... boys are so much more laid back.. dh included!!

i feel almost complete, probably because i'm severly sleep deprived right now and without wishing our lives away look forward to the day our boys are more independant and dh and i can have some our time back....

Disenchanted3 Thu 22-Oct-09 14:26:45

I had 2 boys then a girl, i wanted a girl so very much and she is the most perfect little poppet! I can't imagine not having her.

I don't think I would have felt complete till I got her!

Rossco Thu 22-Oct-09 14:44:41

I have 4 sons and have never felt that want for a girl though I think dh has.

DH had the snip so we won't be having another but if we were I would be happy if it was another boy.

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 22-Oct-09 17:53:56

I do now (mine are 6 and 9). I did go through a slight "mourning" period a couple of years ago when there was a lot of noise and wrestling and farting and poo jokes - not that there aren't now, but I was a bit hmm, I just don't get you.... I also used to slightly idealise girls. Being on MN has taught me a lot about the fact that DDs can (of course) be a pain too.

BUT. My DSs are SO different from each other, and I just think that a lot of what we THINK is down to gender is actually, not. They get on really well. I have learned and thought a lot about things that I never would have if there was more "girl" in the family (am an expert in building sites and the different varieties of mechanical digger grin).

My only remaining concern is being a MIL, after being on MN for a while .......

chocolatemunchies Thu 22-Oct-09 20:42:53

Jamieandhismagictorch I know what you mean about the MIL thing!......worries me too!

upahill Thu 22-Oct-09 20:49:55

Chocolate.... my answer is yes yes yes. I am so happy with them. I have wanted a third child (that's not going to happen) but I would secretly hope for another boy.

I was convinced I was having a girl and everybody said I was as well. I'd only thought of girl's names so when DS eventually came out after a protest I was in shock. I fell asleep and woke up to find DH sitting in the chair by the bed craddling his first born looking tired but happy and proud. I never gave girls another thought after that.

Niddlynono Thu 22-Oct-09 21:12:42

I've got 2 DSs (7 & 3). After DS1 I was really hoping for a girl and when we found out DS2 was another boy I have to admit I was a bit disappointed but was glad that I had some time to get my head around it before he was born. Now though I am so happy that they're both boys for the reasons that other MNetters have listed - they are interested in a lot of the same toys/programmes/days out/games. We don't have to drag a reluctant brother along to Princess-Tippitoes-on-Ice or a sister to Diggerland. They are good friends and they play brilliantly together.
Until probably about a year ago, DH and I hadn't ruled out having a 3rd child (in a vain attempt to have a girl) but as DS2 has got older, and his relationship/friendship with DS1 has blossomed, the idea of having another child, especially if it was a girl, actually fills me with dread.
I think my main reason for wanting a girl was never about buying pink and doing girly things but more about being a maternal grandmother later on, especially since my own parents are very close to my children, much more so than their paternal grandparents. So whilst I can say, hand on heart, that I am extremely content with my 2 loving, adorable, mischievous and fun boys now and I'm so glad they're both boys, it does make me a little sad that I won't ever be a maternal grandmother.

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