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Terrible Two's(4 Posts)
Hi all im new to this so apologies if it not done right. I am 5 1/2 months pregnant work 4 out of five days and have a 23 month old baby. MY son just wont sleep, when he does its because me or Daddy lye on the floor beisde his bed and stroke his head till he sleeps this can take up to 1hr or more before he falls into a deep enough sleep for us to crawl out the door. this can happen upto four times a night, when then i let him sleep in our bed while i sleep on the couch. It doesnt matter what time I put him to sleep but recently he is getting really tired by 7pm as he doesnt nap during the day anymore..I am so tired, as everymorning then I have to get up and bring him to creche and then Im into work for nine,, after work then i have to make a healthy dinner for my partner and clean up afterwards, i dont stop until he is in bed and then it all starts again, im at my wits end and have no idea how i am going to cope when I get bigger and then when the baby comes.!! During the day he is a nightmare as he refuses to do anything I ask, he screams ever bappy change and throws a wobbly when ever he doesnt get his own way, I am soooooooooooooooo tired, I was in hospital last week as im having alot of pains they wanted to keep me in but i couldnt as I have to look after my son. any tips please ?????
The retreat and ignore method, my DS2 is now 2.5 and he was just like your DS at the same age, he would do just as your son is doing.
Do not stay their until he falls asleep, move away a couple of feet and ignore him, the screams the crying the hugging and tell him when he's back in his bed he will get a kiss goodnight, then move even further away. Keep it short, no eye contact, to the point, the same each time
You have got to keep on doing this, you must ignore him, he is reassured you are there but you are giving him no attention.
He will damm well hate it and dig his little heels in so hard you will think they are never going to come out. But it's a battle of wills, not a question of you are going to break him. He will also feel better in the end. Christ I'd like someone to lie by my bed and stroke my hair before I go to sleep!
We put a gate on his door and would sit outside it, whilst he screamed bloody blue murder at us, we ignored him, then went back in, put him in bed and said night night, no joke, on the 1st night we did this 73 times, I was in tears and pieces, but it did reduce night after night, it was FUCKING HARD, but worth it.
You have got to comit to doing it together, not giving in. DS2 now goes to bed so well, story, kiss, night light on and off we go our of tthe door, he falls asleep, does not get out his bed.
I have video of him going ballistic and if we can get our 2 year old from that to being great then YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
I know all kids are different, but you are pregnant and you have to do something.
This is what worked for us, it stopped me going insane. If he sleeps better he might not be so cranky in the day, 2 is s hard age, the energy is never ending, my DS2 is like a whirrling durvish (spelling?) all day long, even if I shut my eyes for a sec he comes up and shouts 'WAKE UP MUMMY!' i want to shout back 'SOD OFF!'
Try it please. Good luck.
If you want my support ona nightly basis I will, I am no expert by all means!
He was so loud that once a lady walking her dog knocked at the door to see if all was OK, it was in the Summer and the windows were open, she laughed when I told her as she said that one of her sons, now 38, was just the same!
I second what carocaro has said. My DD1 is also very difficult about going to bed (although not as bad as Carocaro's DS!) and we have done a similar thing with her. The key is that both you and your partner have to commit to doing it, no matter how hard it is and how long it takes and you have to back each other up - no good if one of you gives up. But, as you well know, there will be no chance of him having hour long hair stroking when the new baby arrives so it will be better for everyone, him included, if he is able to go to get past this before the baby arrives.
You do sound very worn out. I hope you manage to work it out soon so you can get some rest. I recently had my second baby (18 months between the two of them) and, if it's any consolation, having two is much easier than the last few weeks of being pregnant and looking after one !!!
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