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I feel like a jelly belly no good mum who needs cheering up

(10 Posts)
MunchMummy Mon 19-Oct-09 21:11:08

I'm feeling really sad tonight. I have 2 beautiful DDs, 3 and 1 (22 months apart) and love them to bits, but am still not happy.

I just look at my big jelly belly and hate my body. I don't feel like me any more.

To add to this I feel like a terrible mum who doesn't spend enough time playing with her kids. I'm a stay at home mum and really do try hard with them. We do painting, messy stuff, reading, telly watching, anything they want to do really; but I still feel like I'm not stimulating them enough. Sometimes I say Mummy doesn't want to do that, because if I'm honest I'm bored of it, then feel really guilty about not playing with them 100% of the time.
The older one (was 3 in July) is now at preschool every morning, but its still so hard.

Has anyone out there ever felt like this, I feel like I've lost 'me' forever.

Even if no-one replies to this, thankyou for reading my sad ramblings.

Many thanks.

mamalovesmojitos Mon 19-Oct-09 21:19:48

hi munchmummy smile

two small girls, no wonder you're a bit wrecked - one tires me out!

firstly i know how you feel on the body situation, i also have a gigantic jelly belly. feel like even if i lost weight i'd always have the loose stomach and stretch marks. sometimes it gets me down but mostly i am grateful that at least my body works. don't mean that to sound preachy blush it just works for me.

you cannot play with your children in an educational and stimulating way, all day, every day. it is exhausting. it sounds to me that you put a lot of work in and care deeply about the standard of your care. maybe care a little too much - don't be so hard on yourself!

your children are still so young, and yes, you've probably given up a lot of the old you. but it will get easier, i promise. please be kind to yourself - you sound lovely.

do you have a dp/dh to help in the evenings/weekends?

Drooper Mon 19-Oct-09 21:23:51

I think everyone has days (and sometimes weeks and months) like this.

You sound like you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure right now. You are doing loads with your girls, I'm sure they won't be understimulated smile.

Sometimes, it's ok to say no to them and it's ok to be bored. Often if you spent 26 hours a day and 8 days a week playing with them they would still ask for more.

Maybe you need to be a bit kinder to yourself. Do you have a supportive partner? Any time to spend with friends?

Keep posting here, you are not alone.

Bensmum76 Tue 20-Oct-09 06:39:41

Yep we've all felt like that. As if nothing we do is ever enough and that no matter how much time we spend with our little ones its still not enough. I;m sure if we asked our little ones and they could answer honestly, they would tell us that they are more than happy with us!!

tadjennyp Tue 20-Oct-09 07:14:22

I too feel like that. I've forced myself to go to Weight Watchers to shift the belly and I've started going to Spanish classes again to feel like my old self. However I still feel that I could do more with my little ones who are 3 1/2 and 2 and think I just can't sing another round of Wheels on the Bus! Please don't think you are on your own, because you are not. Maybe we could all be a bit kinder to ourselves?

BonsoirAnna Tue 20-Oct-09 07:17:06

You need to get out and about to activities with your children outside the home, where they can play alongside other children and you can chat to other parents.

Your local library, community centre/village hall, sports centre, swimming pool, local classified mag etc is a good source of ideas.

CeeUnit Tue 20-Oct-09 08:05:03

Munchmummy - not all activities have to be child centred for them to enjoy it. You are with them and that's the main thing.

I am SAHM and I cheat - my eldest DC 2.8 loves going to a cafe, (I have trained her well)we both have a drink and a natter and it suits us both. grin

MunchMummy Tue 20-Oct-09 08:32:04

Many thanks all, am feeling a bit happier this morning; although still overwhelmed with being a parent at the moment.

Yes, I do have a husband, but he works long hours at the moment, so I often have them all day. And come the weekend he just wants to sit down and rest, so its still up to me to find something fun for the tiddlers.

I'm just worn out smile

Many thanks for all the replies, its really nice to know there are some other friendly people out there. Must go, pre-school run to do.

lou2345 Tue 20-Oct-09 11:16:24

You sound like you really need some proper me time, whether it's a couple of hours at the hairdressers, or a day out shopping kid free.

It does'nt matter if you're partner needs some rest at the weekend, you do badly hun, let him do something fun with the kids.

FlyMeToDunoon Tue 20-Oct-09 11:24:01

Your DCs will appreciate a mum who is cheerier so you must take time for yourself. I find a couple of child free hours out of the house at the weekends are a must and I come home a different person. Also it is good for your children to learn that mummy is not at their disposal all day long and that all of you can get on with your own activities at times, even if it's sitting having a cup of tea and reading a magazine or them watching a dvd.

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