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What's your most 'bleeuurrghhh!!!' moment as a parent?

(44 Posts)
ilikeyoursleeves Thu 15-Oct-09 21:11:34

Today DS1 was sitting eating yoghurt and after he had finished it I took my finger to scoop up what was left on his face and eat it.

It was pure, salty, stinky, runny BOGEY!!!

Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I nearly puked it was that horrid.

bronze Thu 15-Oct-09 21:12:38

scrubbing poo off walls is up there

Hassled Thu 15-Oct-09 21:15:18

When DS1 vomited over the top of my head. Then he fainted, so it was a good half an hour before I could even think about dealing with the vomit dripping down my face and hair.

Arsed Thu 15-Oct-09 21:18:57

DD sitting on my lap cross legged on the floor, comforting her when she had Noro..Catching her spew in my cupped hands and having to kind of then hold it in my top so I could get up.

She aimed one of those breastfed babys mustard poos all up the front of my nightie when i was changing her nappy at 3am once too. I was so fucking shattered i wiped if off with a baby wipe and went back to bed.

[vom]

TurkeyLurkey Thu 15-Oct-09 21:19:32

Wiping crap off a slide in the playground after my daughter filled her pants and went down it. Not very effective when you're using wipes and bits of bog roll from public toilets.

That was a day to remember.

pagwatch Thu 15-Oct-09 21:20:03

DS1 vomited in my mouth when he was a baby. I was in smiths. I swallowed it in front of a horrified queue.

pagwatch Thu 15-Oct-09 21:22:11

and as a teenager he vomitted with a trajectory that defied the most basic laws of physics. It hit everything in and around our huge cloakroom area hitting about six coats and jeckets, two radiators, the floor and a huge basket of shoes.
The exorcist was a pale shadow of his feat.

ShinyAndNew Thu 15-Oct-09 21:23:05

Probably not as bad as yours but when dd1 was sick two weeks ago. I can't deal with sick at the best of times. But this stunk and it was everywhere.

I made DH deal with it. I have never smelt anything like it. I had to keep the windows open for days. God only knows what she had been eating.

ilikeyoursleeves Thu 15-Oct-09 21:24:10

Pagwatch- how on earth did he vomit in your mouth?! Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Pheebe Thu 15-Oct-09 21:26:17

I was going to post about cleaning ds1s best friends diarrhea up which he'd done in his trousers and had leaked all over our carpet (somehow your own childs shite seems manageable but another childs however lovely he may be...) but am too busy boaking at pagwatches post...

Pheebe Thu 15-Oct-09 21:27:26

Have just told DH, he has put his ceral aside and asked me to step away from the computer...

drinkyourmilk Thu 15-Oct-09 21:27:48

LOL! Oh I'm laughing so much here! Most horid moment - being poo-ed on while transferring child to bath when she has tummy bug. I'm a nanny not a mum - so had to sit there in it (and travel home 2 hours later!). SHUDDER

Paolosgirl Thu 15-Oct-09 21:28:21

Not my moment, but DH once caught DD's poo in his hands. She'd pulled down her pants in a swing park and he said he instinctively reached down to catch it - then realised when he'd done, stood looking at it thinking "what now" and then felt sick.

womblemeister Thu 15-Oct-09 21:30:27

nearly treading in some other child's freshly-laid turd in the middle of a soft play centre with people eating at tables about 30 centimetres away. Only me and one other mum noticed, the rest just kept on eating.

pagwatch Thu 15-Oct-09 21:31:26

ilikeyoursleeves

It was because I was being a wanker grin

He was my first baby and had cute baby clothes on and I was being a cute mummy and sooo attentive so I held him above my head like they do in the ads and I was chatting and cooing at him to make him laugh.

I sooo deserved it.

teameric Thu 15-Oct-09 21:34:53

DD shat in the bath, unfortunately I was in the bath with her, DH thought it was hilarious.
Also once when she had a bad cold and was all bunged up my DH sucked out the snot!!! shock

pagwatch Thu 15-Oct-09 21:35:31

Is this the time to talk about when the plumber had to unblock the toilet because DS2 had stuffed the teletubbies down there and literally shat all over tinky winky.
He was non verbal at the time so we figured he was using the best non verbal critique he could muster

Or when I had to stop DD picking up and playing with a plastic bag? It wasn't just that obviously toddlers should never pay with plastic bags but because I had just spent ten miuntes pulling it out of my dogs arse.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 15-Oct-09 21:35:42

Message withdrawn

ilikeyoursleeves Thu 15-Oct-09 21:46:11

Pagwatch, oh dear, you must be reliving the trauma. How clever of your DS2 to shit over a Teletubbie though.

I have also been crapped over about 10 times when I had baths with DS1, of the breastfed variety too which just seem to disperse into every square cubic inch of water- boak!

Oh and he also pooed down my leg on my birthday.

Funnily enough I have yet to bathe with DS2!

pagwatch Thu 15-Oct-09 21:51:00

grin nothing says happy birthday like a shit covered thigh...

annoyingdevil Thu 15-Oct-09 21:52:41

Actually, not my children. But when my cat did an exorcist style vomit and brought up a Tape worm

Still suffering the trauma

DungeonButter Thu 15-Oct-09 21:54:24

breastfeeding while dripping goo from my conjunctivitisy eyes, looking down and dripping into his conjunctivitisy eyes.

oh the joys.

teameric Thu 15-Oct-09 21:55:06

also just remembered a few weeks ago DD stepped in dog shit and then wiped it off her shoe with her HAND.
I wiped it off with baby wipes (vom!) and then picked her up and ran home, shouting at her not to touch anything! then plonked her straight in the bath (on her own this time grin )

swissmiss Thu 15-Oct-09 22:00:24

PFB was about 12 hrs old and his nappy needed changing. Unsurprisingly it was a meconium blow out so I took the dirty nappy off, picked him up to take his clothes off and he proceeded to poo meconium all down my front, him and the hospital cot. Thankfully the HCA who answered my buzz was a star, she cleaned up baby and the then the cot, leaving me to sort myself out. 3 DC's later and I've never been pooped on since grin.

2nd worst has to be catching DD1's spew in my chest/cleavage and hair when she had Noro. I got her up stairs and stood her in the empty bath tub. Had to go back down to get something, DH took one look at me and nearly spewed himself. He'd not quite realised what a good target I'd made. Soy formula spew is the worst imaginable.

yummycrumpet Thu 15-Oct-09 22:01:50

Being in Birmingham city centre when my son projectile vomited all over me, it soaked through all layers of clothes to my skin, I then had to wipe myself with serviettes and drag myself (still covered in sick) into the nearest shop to buy myself a whole new set of clothes, the sales were on and I had to queue whilst smelling revolting and looking worse!!! blush

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