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Sleeping with baby?(20 Posts)
Quite shocked to hear the new statistics this morning. I'm on LO3 and have had all 3 in the bed with me from birth. Mw told me to put DD1 in bed with me...any thoughts on this??
havent heard new statistics but have co-slept with both DSs and they still love coming into bed in the middle of the night for a cuddle. My MW & HV knew we co-slept and said that more people do it than statistics ever show.
See, I wouldn't class myself as a co-sleeper as it isn't what we normally do- DS goes down each night in his cot. But we do end up with him in the bed most nights, and probably for an hour or two every morning. So I guess we do co-sleep, just not as first choice!
I co-sleep with dd1 and dd2 most nights. It is the only way anyone gets any sleep and I love to have them close to me at night.
I find the research very confusing. If 45% of deaths as quoted in one report occured while co-sleeping then that means 55% were in cots so surely then co-sleeping is safer? I know it is not as simple as that but that is the way the information is reported.
Also I am confused by the SIDS/suffocation too. My understanding is that SIDS is entirely different to a specific cause such as a baby being suffocated by a pillow or a parent rolling on her.
Those statistics are being reported on my local radio station every bloody ten minutes with some poor mum's story of losing her baby to cot death.
Very emotive and scary for new mums listening without actually advising parents on minimising risk.
We co-slept and wouldn't have had it any other way.
my mother keeps telling me about the post mortems she does on babies who were cosleeping with parents, but to be honest, I don't see any other way of getting DS to sleep. he's only tiny (2.5 weeks), and really objects to his basket at night. he'll sleep in it for 2-3 hours, then adamantly refuses any more contact with it until daylight for some reason. MW at the hospital told me to co sleep to try and settle him, so that's what I'm doing...
Heavens, a mother who's a pathologist - think of all the other stories she'll come out with over the next 18 years or so...
If you read the details there's very little thats new in the study. Co-sleeping after drink/drugs increased the risk of cot death - nothing new there. Co-sleeping on a couch increases the risk for cot death - nothing new there. Instead of bashing all co-sleeping I do wish the media would read the science they claim to report and report it accurately!
Apparently SIDs is relatively unheard of in a number of Asian countries where co-sleeping is the norm.
I didn't hear Jeremy Vine but I read the BBC website news article on the "dangers of bedsharing" to find it was, in fact, about the dangers of sleeping on a SOFA. And the obvious links between alcohol, smoking and certain prescription drugs and SIDS.
(The woman in the BBC video also annoys me by pronouncing forth that nowhere in the UK "needs" heating on overnight - ha! try my house in the North of Scotland in winter!)
It's also my understanding that breastfeeding lowers the risk of SIDs
and I would have thought that co-sleeping would have been higher among bf mothers. I know that's how we've ended up doing it and until DD can sleep through, I will be taking her out of her cot into my bed for her night feeds. If I'm awake to put her back I will, but otherwise she'll be there till the next feed.
For goodness sake, it's common sense - DON'T share a bed with your baby if you smoke, drink, take drugs that alter your responses. Keep their head away from pillows so they don't overheat and use their own blankets on them. One of the midwives on the nightshift showed me how to feed lying down when DD was born, which has been an absolute lifesaver- only a fool would believe a new mum would never drop off while doing this! Lots of people bedshare, it's just that hardly anybody admits it for fear of being seen as 'irresponsible'.
I'm wondering how you avoid little babies ending up under the duvet?
I BF but move to a chair in the nursery as we're still learning and I need the light on however when DH is away I will feed DD in bed but always pop her back in the crib. Some mornings I doze with her next to me but I'm not really sure of the logistics of how to co-sleep with a newborn. Any tips appreciated.
BTW I hate it when the news doesn't accurately report research findings too - very frustrating.
Have a look at this from the UNICEF Baby Friendly Initiative website here
It's infuriating when statistics are misused in this manner. It's so much safer to plan to co-sleep and do so safely (no drink/drugs/pillows, next to a breastfeeding mum, not next to dad etc etc) than it is to get up and end up falling asleep unintentionally on a sofa or a chair.
So many parents must be scared stiff of co-sleeping because of all this bad journalism. . Its one of the joys of being a mum (says she who is downstairs on MN instead of cuddling up to DS (2) haha!)
The audio interview on the BBC page is even more confusing. So the baby dies whilst sleeping on the sofa, whilst the mother was sleeping (in a sitting position?) next to the child?
I end up co-sleeping all the time, i bring DD into the bed with me to feed and inevitably fall asleep as she will feed for 2 hours or so on the trot in the middle of the night. she also hates her moses basket at night time but loves it during the day. What's that about? so we can usually get her in the basket sneakily for about 2 maybe 4 hours max and then it's into bed with us for the guzzle off.
My mother was shocked that i had the baby in the bed with me and made me promise that i would never do it again. A promise that i swiflty broke not 10 hours later. my DD is only 24 days old, eventually i should imagine that the feeding in the night with reduce and she'll be in the Moses basket for longer, but until then she'll be with me.
I put a link to this article on the In the News thread yesterday, but it may be useful over here.
So glad I'm not on my own. So many people frown on co-sleeping, yet I think many do not like to admit to sleeping with baby for fear of being accused of being irresponsible.
DD3 also sleeps in a sleeping bag - fantastic invention! She loves it and looks so cute and warm in it.
Labella I've come to the conclusion that our LO doesn't like quiet, so will not settle in her moses basket at night.
we have a single duvet each, which we tuck under ourselves, then DS goes in between us either under his blanket or in a sleeping bag (so cute!). dp keeps complaining that we have less room in the bed (it is astonishing how much space a baby can take up!) but it's so much easier to feed in the night!
Pyrocanthus, thank you for that link a really good article!
PurpleCrazyHorse, regarding you question How to avoid baby getting under the duvet: I just did away with the duvet whilst baby was small. I looked like a Michelin man, wrapped in several layers of clothing, but in my experience co-sleeping is really worth it.
I always slept with one leg up preventing DS from wriggling down under the duvet, and my arm out preventing him from wriggling up towards the pillows. If that makes sense! Think of the recovery position for legs, but with the lower arm outstretched instead of being under your head and the upper arm cuddling the baby.
I used to put my legs under the duvet and shared a cellular blanket with DS over my tummy.
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