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Learning how it all works at Preschool ( for mums)

(5 Posts)
Gravitygirl Mon 12-Oct-09 12:59:07

My DD started preschool in september. All seems to be going well apart from today when DD came out of class and told me her friend had hit her as we were walking along the road I happened to be next to the said friends mum who said 'your dd pulled my dd hair today, and they had a fight'
My immediate reaction was to think, DD isnt a hairpuller but didnt say anything just kind of shrugged (in a kind of I dont know how to handle this way) and it all seemed civil etc but.....

Should I have been told by the teacher if there is a fight involving my DD, DD is not a violent child by any means but if she is donng something wrong I want to know, likewise if there is another problem I want to know. I don't know where the other mum got her information from, her DD or teacher? I should have asked maybe, but Im finding it all such a mindfield of mummy ettiquette and wanting to do the right thing to help my DD along by not upsetting anyone, I don't know what Im doing.

Am I alone in feeling this way, is anyone else struggling on what the ettiquette for becoming friendly is, talking about certain things with teachers or is it sorted between parents etc? Other mums seem so well informed and I dont know how to find out stuff because as soon as I ask the teacher I am dismissed ( understandably cant stand there talking to me allday) but how are thee other mums doing it.
I can't bear it.

To add to my embarresment, I heard one of the other mums say 'Ill walk up with you' thinking she meant me I replied 'ok' then realised by her faced that she was talking to another mum behind me ( oh the shame)
I do hope my DD isnt having as much stress as I am in working all this out..

elmofan Mon 12-Oct-09 13:16:58

my dd also started preschool in september smile so i am only finding my feet too ,
talk to your dd casually & try find out what happened today with this other child , also maybe arrive 2-3 minutes early in the morning & ask the teacher did she see what happened ,
you are not alone in feeling that all the other mums seem to know more than you i have felt like that at times with my 10yr old ds , but imo don't worry you will hear quickly enough if your dc's are misbehaving , so no news is good news iyswim smile

lljkk Mon 12-Oct-09 13:25:00

If possible, talk to the staff AFTER the session, they are always very busy at start of the session. I would ask about the incident, say what your DD described and then ask if they know what she means.

RE other parents: just smile sweetly and eventually chitchat will come. I can't promise you'll ever make friends, but it's worth being someone they can recognise.

Gravitygirl Mon 12-Oct-09 13:40:58

Thanks, think ill try to hang around after all the parents have picked up the kids tomorrow. Trouble is my two want to race off...
I did think that no news was good news, then got all paranoid and thought, what if Im one of those people being 'discussed' iykwim. The teachers always seem so busy before and after and reluctant to talk, I dont want to make myself a pain in the neck parent ..

Its awful isnt it, Im sure other people dont worry like this lol.

nappyaddict Mon 12-Oct-09 14:00:08

At our preschool they only tell the parents if a mark is made iyswim.

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