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Smug mothers - do you know what I mean?

(65 Posts)
catriona1 Fri 10-Jun-05 20:01:04

I have a group of 6 friends (we meet once a week through a local NCT group) and now all have 3 year olds and some have babies again and some at primary school. I have to say I have nothing in common with them other than the fact that our toddlers are the same age and feel apart from this I have nothing really to talk to them about. I am the only one that works (part-time) whilst they are all SAHMs which to me personally sounds dull and all they have to think about is when to go to Sainsburies and what outfits from Next to buy for their kids.

I feel over-critical and don't regard them as close friends at all but feel like asking them if they have anything else going on in their perfect lives with perfect houses and children and husbands. Me, I am trying to keep an even keel in a rocky r-ship and not much money with few other good friends with children.

Does anyone else know this stereo-type or am I barking up the wrong tree and ignore my underlying opinions???

Twiglett Fri 10-Jun-05 20:04:57

stop seeing them

you think they're dull so don't spend time with them

I am sure they would probably rather not spend time with someone who has such obvious disdain for their chosen lifestyles

although lovely contraversial thread to start

<see how I didn't take offence at your total disrespect of SAHMdom .. let me tell you that took a hell of a lot of reserve>

Twiglett Fri 10-Jun-05 20:05:54

BTW I'm a totally smug SAHM

but I wouldn't go to an NCT group meeting if you paid me

assumedname Fri 10-Jun-05 20:06:09

Why do you bother meeting them?

trefusis Fri 10-Jun-05 20:06:34

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam Fri 10-Jun-05 20:11:40

I can't see much smug about them - it just sounds to me as if you don't get on, and that's fine.

Your generalisation that SAHMs are dull, have perfect lives, and have nothing in their lives except when to go to Sainsbury's and what outfits to buy from Next are sweeping generalisations which I'm not going to rise to, as I'm sure other people will do that instead.

trefusis Fri 10-Jun-05 20:12:50

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam Fri 10-Jun-05 20:13:36

I thought as much, Trefusis

Twiglett Fri 10-Jun-05 20:15:53

me too

Twiglett Fri 10-Jun-05 20:16:04

and may I just add


JoolsToo Fri 10-Jun-05 20:18:00

do I detect tinges of green?

tamula Fri 10-Jun-05 20:20:01

Clearly they are not your friends by any stretch of the imagination as I'm sure you could muster up a tad more respect and tolerance for a 'friend'?

You sound an incy wincy bit jealous and bitter, this is school playground stuff, nah, nah, nah-nah nah.

If you can see that you are over critical and have no foundation upon which to base your opinions other than these mothers live what seems to be (according to you) a better lifestyle compared to yourself.

Then what exactly is the question? You sound as though you want to start a SAHM vs Working mum flame grilled thread. (again)

Good luck to you

bobbybob Fri 10-Jun-05 20:20:51

I work part time and am capable of incredible smugness, I don't think it's anything to do with being a SAHM.

JoolsToo Fri 10-Jun-05 20:21:36


lima Fri 10-Jun-05 20:21:53

ohh that'll be me - I'm a smug SAHM with a perfect life - and a fat ar$e from eating too many home baked cookies

what do you want to know?

Heathcliffscathy Fri 10-Jun-05 20:22:43

tinges? more like great sweeping swathes of emerald green envy.

if they are bored and it is dull they wouldn't be smug would they. if they are not smug, maybe there is more to them and their lives then meets the eye (there always is in my experience). now ladies, i've posted a couple of times today and killed the thread stone dead, please don't do that to me this time

catriona1 Fri 10-Jun-05 20:24:35

The only reason I see them is because its been a routine for nearly 3 years and the children all play about with one another which is good. My life just seems to have gone down a different path now as I am back at work with no more children planned. I know I was very general about the SAHM statement. They quite like me being part of the group as I perhaps more things to talk about, but then again perhaps not. IO am away for a few weeks in the summer so perhaps will think about doing something else with my Fri mornings thereafter but not to completely lose touch. In Jan they all go to pre-school anyway and my DD is going to one no-one else is going to so perhaps time will tell if the friendships hold-out.

Pinotmum Fri 10-Jun-05 20:26:21

Up to last month I was a sahm but my life was nothing like you describe. I have don't have anything to be smug about unfortunately except my beautiful, intelligent children I now work part-time and am smug about that - oh yeah get me to the shops to spend spend spend

dinny Fri 10-Jun-05 20:26:25


Dior Fri 10-Jun-05 20:27:10

Message withdrawn

lima Fri 10-Jun-05 20:27:51

read and enjoy

LGJ Fri 10-Jun-05 20:30:14


Reveal yourself, you live in Surrey and you were at my house this afternoon

My AnteNatal lot are ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz with one exeption.

Heathcliffscathy Fri 10-Jun-05 20:31:08

[runs round thread with hands in air and football shirt over head] i didn't kill it i didn't kill it i didn't kill it!

WigWamBam Fri 10-Jun-05 20:35:11

There's still time

catriona1 Fri 10-Jun-05 20:35:43

LGC; not me, had an afternoon at the local paddling pool. ;)

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