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DD being bullied at school, school do naff all.....where do i go next??

(6 Posts)
iliketosleep Sun 11-Oct-09 23:30:22

From the beginning. My daughter is 9 years old and has been bullied for the last 3 school years. The girls in question are alot bigger built than her, and she is not petite! There was an incident last year where I removed her from school and wrote a strong letter to the head demanding that that something is sorted. He told me that he will do what he can but if i dont send her back I will face being fined. It got a little better although she still came out upset most days. I went to see her teacher at least once a week to tell them that another incident has occured and was told that daughter should have gone to see them. (If they dont listen to me, they arent going to listen to her?) Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and the bully in question grabbed my daughter hard on her arm swung her round and then grabbed her round the throat. Daughter said that dinnerlady was watching and said let me look if theres a mark.....I went in the following day and told the headmaster, he told daughter to REMIND him the next day so that he can speak to bully. Obviously daughter never as she was scared. I would have thought that grabbing a child around the throat would not need to be reminded about. I do not know where to go from here. My daughter is starting to get very angry with the world and barely ever smiles anymore. Is it safe to hold her off school without the risk of being fined? I have 2 other children who are happy there so moving isnt really an option....I dont know what to do Also one particular brat girl keeps telling dd she doesnt like her she cant play and shes going to beat her up.......Swear words angry

p.s. sorry for bd grammar not really thinking straight.

iliketosleep Sun 11-Oct-09 23:41:58


Quattrocento Sun 11-Oct-09 23:48:21

Well I think you could do a lot more than you are doing.

Make a record of the incidents in writing and send them to the head. Don't let them fob you off with lots of stuff about how your DD should have told them at the time. Keep recording and making written complaints so that there is a trail of evidence

Go to the head and ask to have a meeting with him and the governors to explain what actions they are taking to protect your dd

You could threaten to call the police if there are any further physical assaults

Amandoh Sun 11-Oct-09 23:49:05

A friend of mine called the police after her child was bullied and the school seemed disinterested. As you've been to and from the school on many occassions and nothing has been done then perhaps a visit from the police might be the "reminder" the Headmaster needs that your daughter has been physically assaulted and perhaps he'll then take steps to make sure this doesn't happen again.

I'd also like to know why the dinner lady who witnessed your daughter being grabbed around the throat didn't do anything to stop it and why she didn't call a teacher or the Headmaster at the time.

This must be awful for your daughter. Is it difficult to get her to go to school now? Is there another school she could go to?

madamefreckle Mon 12-Oct-09 00:00:08

Firstly, so sorry to hear your story. I would be fuming - it sounds like it's just been going on far too long and i cannot believe so little has been done about it. I would keep a detailed record of all incidents as described by your daughter. Back-date if possible. Then follow the steps below suggested by

Key steps to follow when your child is bullied at school:

Check that the school has an anti-bullying policy and that procedures are being followed.

Contact the Head and ask for a meeting to discuss what can be done.

If you are not satisfied, write a letter of complaint to the head of the school. (Try the Children's Legal Centre or Advisory Centre for Education for help with this.)

If you are still not satisfied write to the Chair of Governors with a copy of the letter of complaint. Let them know your concerns and what you would like to be done.

And if you feel none of this resolves the situation you can write to the Director of Education at your Local Authority.

Lastly, complain to the Secretary of State for Education and Employment.

For more information on dealing with schools and bullying visit the ParentsCentre.

In the meantime, your daughter will need every opportunity to try to build her confidence and to understand that it's not her fault. I think, overall, that it is not especially helpful to keep her off school and you could run into trouble doing so.

Hope this helps and i really hope you get this sorted soon.

iliketosleep Mon 12-Oct-09 12:47:19

Thankyou for replying. I just feel so hopeless, and I know i'm not doing all I can but besides constantly going in and personally reporting the incidents, I wasn't sure where to turn next. madamefreckle's post has given alot of information that I will now follow. Thankyou once again x

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