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24/7 mum

(9 Posts)
mummyhood Wed 07-Oct-09 22:04:47

Is it just me who feels guilty about not being a happy 24/7 mum? I do enjoy time with the children but when I get away I enjoy them more when I come back. Currently on mat leave , but previously work 2 days with 1st and plan to go back 2 days with 2nd. I think that it's best for the whole family, including me, but I feel guilty and wish that I could be happy staying with them all the time. Probably feel that I should. But at times I feel all consumed with them all the time. Am I expecting the impossible to be happy with them al the time? I've had 10 years of freedom and career and my career is really on hold. Is it bad to not want to end it completely? Am I a bad mummy for not wanting to spend all my time with my children? btw they are 6months and 4yrs. 6 month doesn't sleep but that's another thread!

IveNowGotCleanCarpets Wed 07-Oct-09 22:07:01

Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Acinonyx Thu 08-Oct-09 09:54:44

I hope not as I am just the same. I work 2-3 days/week and definitley do not want to stop work - I would go totally bonkers. I know what you mean about feeling guilty that you don't actually want to be home all the time - I feel that too - that I should always prefer being with dd to working (or other adult only pursuit) but it's just not true.

But I think there is a continuous scale of feeling about this from mums who adore being home with dc all the time, to those of us who like it part but not all of the time.

MamaVoo Thu 08-Oct-09 13:19:47

Even those of us who are at home full time don't necessarily adore it. I find it very tedious a lot of the time but it's the decision we've made (for me to be a SAHM) and I make the best of it. I think working a couple of days a week is a great option if you're able to, so don't feel guilty.

mummyhood Thu 08-Oct-09 21:46:26

Thanks. It's nice to know that you both feel a bit like me. I know that I've got to remember that there isn't really a right and wrong and do what's right for me and my family like we all do.

MavisEnderby Thu 08-Oct-09 21:51:20

Working pt preserves my sanity.Much as I love the dcs,I crave adult conversation and utilising what little brain cells I possess at work

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 08-Oct-09 21:54:53

I know just how you feel. I work 3 days a week. I did go up to 4 days a week for a while between having ds1 and ds2 but that just tipped that balance the wrong way.

I enjoy my days at home with the boys, but I will admit to looking forward to my days in work at times too! I am a professional and I trained hard and have worked hard to get where I am today.

Just because I have become a Mum doesn't mean that all of that should have to stop. In my profession, it is extremely difficult to get back into if I was to take several years out to get the bys up to school ages, so I see my working now not just as a good thing for me right now, but also a vital thing for the future.

We pay nearly £1,000 a month in childcare fees, but I still have some money left after that, and this extra bit goes towards the extras that we enjoy such as holidays and meals out etc, so for me I feel like I get the best of both worlds.

TBH I would go mad if I had to stay at home all week with the boys - hats off to all of the SAHM.

MavisEnderby Thu 08-Oct-09 21:59:07

Oh god I think my post came out wrong,I don't mean it to sound like SAHM do not exercise brains (there is nothing more tricky than a toddler,lol) but what I was trying to say was that I enjoy thinking about somethign different than the dc,and problem solving different issues in a work situation.

MamaVoo Fri 09-Oct-09 19:09:37

Just popped back to see how this thread was getting on and I thought I'd do the charitable thing and not leave Mavis hanging and feeling bad. I didn't take any offence from your post and frankly the most exercise my brain gets these days is deciding what bottle of wine to buy so I can see where you're coming from.

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