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A Day In The Life....(5 Posts)
Please forgive me, just need a major rant!
Today has been hell, ditto yesterday, and practically every other day. I have terrible days, bad days and so-so days, mainly bad.
Today has been a terrible day. I have 2 DS's one 2.6 the other 5 months. I am a SAHM and just find the endless monotony and relentlessness of it all so tedious I could weep (and do). My day began at 2.30 am this morning when DS1 ran into my bedroom and jumped into bed, poking my face, chatting, pulling the covers off etc. Put up with this till 3.30 when DP took him back to his bed, he refused to sleep so DP took him downstairs at 4.30. DS2 wakes up because of all the commotion (me shouting, mainly), he then stays awake till 6am, I finally nod off only to be woken again at 7.30am. I lie in bed listening to the chaos downstairs, wishing I was somewhere else.
Get up, go downstairs and the mayhem begins. With DS1 every meal time is an issue, mess everywhere screaming etc. DS2 won't take his milk, screaming. DS1 is in my face almost every waking minute, want, want, want. He is in DS2's face, making him cry every other 5 mins. Can never leave DS2 on the floor for tummy time, or interact with him much at all because DS1 won't leave us alone. He's incapable of amusing himself, it drives me INSANE. The minutes creep by. No house work done, no washing done, not even glanced at my appearance in the mirror, I know I look like crap, I don't get chance to put some make-up on.
Have quiet cry on the loo, but have to dry eyes as DS1 charges into the bathroom, turning on taps, spraying water everywhere, emptying out shampoo etc.
Big row with DP because I finally lose my rag after being asked for sweets for the millionth time. Sweets, crisps, biscuits, endlessly. Loads of shouting. DS2 crying because he has excema (sp?) and it distresses him. Try to console him whilst DS1 has jealous hissy fit. Cue 100th meltdown. Try to go out but DS1 won't walk, or behave. Usual teatime/bedtime drama, cue more screaming and tantrums. And on and on and on it goes..every single day, virtually exactly the same.
I will crawl into bed tonight (find it hard to sleep because of stress, brain won't switch off) secure in the knowledge that DS1 will come bursting into the room in the early hours and the whole cycle will start again.
Phew. Feel slightly better, thanks for listening..Feel free to make me feel better if your days are vaguely similar!
Ps. I do love my boys, but Jeez, they (mainly DS1) are a PITA.
Sorry that it's so bad at the moment. Hang in there. I have similar age gap and found 4/5/6 months with DS2 particularly tough.
Ds1 does sound a bit of a hnadful. Can you try any of the following?
- put him back sleeping in cot or travel got so can't come raiding your bed in early hours. And combine with some cc sleep training? Views differ on this, but we've done it before when ds1 sleep has gone to pot and had good experience with it.
- get some family, friend or nursery cover to take ds1 once ( or more?) a week so you get some one on one with ds2
- get soem support from hv or postnatal group. I know hv's differ in quality but I had a great one for ds2 (moved between babies) and she put in a fortnightly visit to see me when iwas struggling and was great - just to know someone was coming round regularly
- get ds1 his own doll/baby and encourage him to look after it alongside you looking after ds2
- if you don't have tv on much (we had none pre ds2), then IME 30 mins in front of DVD for ds1 can be v helpful on bad day
it will get better - you will look back in a year or two and be amazed at how much better. I found it diff to keep hold of that thought, but is already getting better with ds2 9 mths. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.
Also, have you got double buggy? Ds1 may fuss but prob give up the struggle once strapped in. Random walk to anywhere helps - even just to get the time to pass. If can take in park or cafe so much the better. Ignore rain - just put coats on. It will take at LEAST 30 mins to get selves out of house - but so what.
Am sending 'give me mummy strength' vibes - that's what I feel like I need sometimes.
Sorry me again! Was just thinking on the doll idea. It helps my ds1 to get h really engaged in whatever needs to be done around ds2 / house, in really upbeat way, so that he is getting attention ( even just verbal attention) alongside useful stuff happenning. And helps him to feel more positive about ds2.
We've been lucky that in general ds1&2 think each other best thing ever, but do have times when this is not the case and really helps to do some Disney style bigging up of ds2 to ds1
Ok will shut up now!
Excellent advice from stirlingstar - I had a similar age gap between dc2 & dc3 and had forgotten how hard it was.
A double buggy was an essential for me, as was getting out of the house every day. I joined a mother & toddler group which helped tremendously and through which I made some really valuable & lasting friendships.
I also cleared my house of any unneccessary clutter - the only livingroom ornaments we had were toys & children's books which made life easier.
If you can't put your older son back into a cot, consider a stair gate for his bedroom door so he can't just come into your room when he feels like it. Lots of book and toys around his bed might keep him amused for a little while.
Take advantage of help from everyone who offers & try to have some time with DS1 alone too.
And remember this will pass.
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