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DS hit by older boys. Was I right to shout?

(8 Posts)
NigellaTufnel Fri 02-Oct-09 16:22:34

In the playpark...
My DS is 2, and a quiet and happy little boy. There were three little boys between 3 and 4 I should think, playing quite happily together.

However, I was about 25 yards away, I looked up to see the three older boys round my little boy. They had all been playing in a tree den together so I hadn't seen them (only for a minute so I'm not massively worried about what happened in there).

Anyway, one of the older boys then reached over to shove something (earth and pine needles) in DS's mouth then smacked my DS in the face. Cue DS looking stunned, and me pointing and shouting in my best Glaswegian fishwife mode: 'Oi. You. Do NOT DO THAT!'

The older boys then ran back to the tree den, where they had started to shove a little girl.

So I march up, with DS on hip, and demanded of the little boy who hit DS: 'Did you hit him?' He says no, and starts to look tearful. I say: 'I saw you, and that was wrong, do NOT do it again.' He starts to cry, and I walk off.

Two mothers walk up, and I tell them what happened. And they make the three apologise (actually I can't remember the child who hit actually says sorry, he was very upset and his mother says that she can't believe that he did it.)

Must stress the mothers were nice, and apologetic. Indeed the one with the non-hitting ones was v. apologetic.
And I reassured them that these things happen, and I'm sure my DS will do exactly the same at some point. (Actually I'm not sure about this, but heigh ho. I don't think that these are bad kids, just being naughty)

So my question is:
How much should you tell off someone else's child?

I have no problems with shouting at them to actively stopping them hitting my DS, especially as the hitter was also holding a stick, and it looked as if that would be next weapon of choice. But should you say anything else?

I suppose as long as you don't lose your temper, or try to discipline them that's OK?

FWIW DS is fine. Just wanted a biscuit. The hitter was still wailing about ten minutes later, and I am, of course, still a bit sad. It's the first time I've seen DS being picked on, and he looked so bemused by it all.

MrsMagnolia Fri 02-Oct-09 16:47:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NigellaTufnel Fri 02-Oct-09 18:35:38

Thank you. That's very kind.

I think that this might the first of a number of incidents. And I wasn't sure where the line is.

I was a bit scared that the hitter's mum might be a bit miffed. But my inner lioness / fishwife would not be quietened.

donnie Fri 02-Oct-09 18:39:02

i agree you handled it well. It's a very tricky area. I have told other children off in similar situations. I think a lot of it hinges on how you deal with the parents of the other kids.

acebaby Fri 02-Oct-09 18:54:42

You handled it perfectly. I can't stand it when mothers give me a dirty look when DS1 misbehaves, rather than speaking to him directly. I spend most of my time supervising DS2, who is 16mo and a climber, so sometimes I don't know what he's done to prompt the looks, which makes it difficult for me to tell him off.

NigellaTufnel Fri 02-Oct-09 20:01:04

If my DS was hitting another child I would want someone to put a stop to it. But it is v. tricky

randomeuro Fri 02-Oct-09 20:23:08

I think you handled it really well. I had a similar (ish) situation with my one year old: he was playing out in his little car and a bigger boy (age about 5) came along on his bike and skidded to a stop in front of DS and kicked his car! I said "dont do that" with a stern face. Child is Swiss (I dont speak Swiss German) but am hoping the tone of voice and stern face conveyed the message.

NigellaTufnel Fri 02-Oct-09 21:21:40

It can be weird being harsh with a child that you don't know.

I did come across a bit Rab C nesbitt though

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