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Is my DH a bad Dad ?

(28 Posts)
Monkeysmom Wed 08-Jun-05 17:37:41

My little boy, 14 mo has got chicken pox. I was at home with him yesterday and this morning, but had to come to work this afternoon. MIL is looking after him for the afternoon.
I just called DH, and as he was on his way home from work, asked him to stop at a chemist and get some calomine lotion and bicarbonate of soda for ds.
He basically said that he had a hard day at work and it would be out of his way. Would only be a 15 min delay !!!
I need to work late today ( as I came to work late ) and the chemist will be closed, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked DH.
I am so upset. I can’t believe that he will not do a 15 min journey for his son who is ill.I really don’t know what to think
Of course, I will leave earlier and go to the chemists but am so angry with DH.

Nemo1977 Wed 08-Jun-05 17:39:01

I would be angry too that is out of order as he should be willing to go out of his way for his own son...especially as he is ill

golds Wed 08-Jun-05 17:39:33

I would be seriously cross with him

jampots Wed 08-Jun-05 17:42:21

in the scheme of things he's not a bad dad but one who would prefer you to do this

trefusis Wed 08-Jun-05 17:43:25

Message withdrawn

RnB Wed 08-Jun-05 17:45:48

Message withdrawn

Blu Wed 08-Jun-05 17:51:09

And now, the tie-breaker:
Q: WHO will be getting up in the night when the poor little love is awake and itching????
A: The person who didn't get the clamime is the Right Answer!

Piriton subdues the itching - our doctor told us to use that when DS had cp at 11 months and had his whole leg in plaster.

trefusis Wed 08-Jun-05 17:53:35

Message withdrawn

Thomcat Wed 08-Jun-05 17:54:16

I can't say if he is a bad dad or not, not really, bit he has certainly acted like a complete arse this evening.
Hopefully he'll realise that himself.

Monkeysmom Wed 08-Jun-05 18:11:06

Thank you all for the replies. He does know that I have to work late as I was the one looking after ds in the morning, and I need to make up the time or take holiday.
He usually is a good dad but a very lazy individual. As long as it involves a sofa, he will happily play for hours with ds.
He just called me and asked if the lovely 100% home made pizza left for ds should be cooked in the oven or microwave

Chandra Wed 08-Jun-05 18:13:43

I personally won't be wondering if he is a bad dad or not, I would just bin his dinner and tell him that I was so knackered to cook it, and head for the calamine before he can reply!

Twiglett Wed 08-Jun-05 18:15:01

try a bath run through a sock with porridge oats in it .. it really works

Gobbledigook Wed 08-Jun-05 18:15:39

Not necessarily a bad dad but I'd be livid at this!

Send him out to 24 hr Tesco later - you can get calamine from there. And a tip - get calamine cream rather than lotion - it's much easier to apply and nicer for the child (the lotion is freezing when it goes on and mine went ballistic!)

Chandra Wed 08-Jun-05 18:18:27

BTW. Dh once did somenting like that, we were coming out of IKEA (long way from home) and he said he was very tired and would like me to drive, so I went behind the wheel and asked him if he would mind feeding the baby as it was about hisdinner time, and he replied that he was really kknackered that he only wnated to get home ASAP and he was not doing it because he was too tired. So I stoped the car in the next car park went down feed the baby (very slooooooooooow feeder BTW), and refuse to return the keys or drive home until DS was finished. End of the story... has not happen again (...yet)

Tortington Thu 09-Jun-05 00:47:18

probably not a bad dad just sounds like a f*ckwit who needs a kick up the arse - he sounds like one of those " babies is sommat to do wiv wimmim innit" types.

i hope you shoved pizza in his tired fkin face and then shouted at him for the next three hours about how ungrateful he is and his part in raising your child together and what a low down slefish m8therf8ckin thing to do lazy f8cker.

i hope you realise he was saying " nah i cant be arsed luv, my time is much more important than yours - and BTW i know you will do it and not say much, cos i like to take the piss likethat"

i hope you cant be arsed to go for a prescription for him, i hope you cant be arsed to go shopping, pick up his drycleaning, go to the bank, post aletter anything - you better tell him to pull his weight soon bab or in 6 months he will be walking all over you with his " i am so muchmore important/ tired/ ill/work harder/more intelligent" shit

ghosty Thu 09-Jun-05 01:48:27

Custy ... your posts always make me larf

Monkeysmom ... your DH probably isn't a bad dad but he is clearly very selfish and I would be livid if DH did this ... He is just as much your child's parent as you are ... and as such he should be able to carry out a few simple tasks for your child.

tigermoth Thu 09-Jun-05 06:36:11

He definitely a bad dad moment there.

There is that underlying assumption that his time is more important than yours - it's something my dh can, at times, do too.

One way of nipping this in the bud would be to tell your dh that your line manager is really counting on you being at work late tonight(urgent meeting). They had some cross words with you about missing work yesterday as you had some very important stuff to do. This could all be a total lie.

I do this with my dh sometimes - if he starts taking my time for granted, I lay it on thick about my colleagues counting on me and me getting into big trouble if I let them down. Not strictly true, but not a lie either.

charleepeters Thu 09-Jun-05 08:36:04

i would be so angry if it was dp, he's being selfish not thinking of ds. i dont think one incident can call him a bad dad though!

basketcase Thu 09-Jun-05 08:48:53

custy
monkeysmom - how did it go? how is your little one? Hope you got the bicarb, worked brilliantly for my two, really helped to speed the drying up phase and soothe the itch. In all of this heat I can’t think of a worse time to feel under the weather, have a temp or be covered in itchy spots

ninah Thu 09-Jun-05 09:20:12

I second those who recommend Pititon and Eurax.
Sorry dh has been like this. I bet you are exhausted. Ds had two quite bad nights and then did seem to get a lot better quite quickly so I hope you get some rest.

expatinscotland Thu 09-Jun-05 09:25:00

Sorry, but that's really inconsiderate and rude. Bang out of order, IMO.

JoolsToo Thu 09-Jun-05 09:28:14

you know what to do next time he asks a favour

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Jun-05 09:30:36

Show him this thread. I'm with Custy.

gaelsgirl Thu 09-Jun-05 09:36:54

with custy too on this

Monkeysmom Thu 09-Jun-05 15:55:42

Hello everybody. DS is much better. I gave him Pititon and put Eurax on the spots and it really worked.
Regarding Eurax, it says on the box that doctor should be consulted if given to children under 3. DS is 14 months, the chemist said it is fine. However, I am a little bit concerned as I haven’t consulted the doctor. Any thoughts on this ? Maybe I should have posted this on Health ?!

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