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What is your ideal number of children, and what would the age gaps be??

49 replies

slinging · 26/09/2009 13:16

Funny as I live surrounded by families of 2 children, yet teach in a very middle class area full of families with at least 3 children. Keen to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
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Ambi · 26/09/2009 13:18

I always wanted 3 as it seems a nice easy balance, but I'm satisfied with one.

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Ambi · 26/09/2009 13:19

sorry, make that just about coping satisfied

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gingertoo · 26/09/2009 13:20

Want 4.
Have got 3 (10,8,2)
Liked the idea of two big ones and two small ones but it's taking ages to conceive #4 and the gap is widening....

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Caro1302 · 26/09/2009 20:43

I've got 2 with a 2.5 year age gap. Ideally I'd like 3, with another 2.5 year age gap, however DD is only 8 weeks old so I may change my mind about that!

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ib · 26/09/2009 20:47

I would have chosen 3, with an 18-24 month gap between.

As it is ds1 will be over 3yo when ds2 is born. Unlikely to get to no.3 - it's a bit too long to spend on the baby years for me.

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PinkTulips · 26/09/2009 20:47

i'd have loved 4/5, all close together, but even if dp were in agreement i can't do pregnancy again, i barely made it through the last one and it was unfair on the kids how grouchy and miserable and incapable of dong anything i was.

as it is i'm pleasently surprised to find i'm actually content with 3... i didn't think i would be but i am.

we have 4 years between oldest and youngest and it's great

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4andnotout · 26/09/2009 20:52

I would love 5 or 6 with 18 month gaps roughly.

We have 4 dd's (7,4,2,11m)

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TheFallenMadonna · 26/09/2009 20:56

Had I started younger I might have had another, but I'm pretty happy with two. I'm not sure I'm organised enough for more. Mine are 2.5 years apart, longer than I had aimed for, but not a bad gap.

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lechatnoir · 26/09/2009 22:56

I have DS1 age 3.5 and DS2 age 3mths and would love a 3rd & final DC before DS2 hits 2.

Despite getting pg straightaway with DS1, it took us a while with DS2 & I had a m/c in between so bigger gap than I had hoped and now DH is saying he doesn't want more so who know what the reality will ultimately be.
LCN

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MogTheForgetfulCat · 26/09/2009 22:59

I'd like 4 (but realistically, will be happy to stick at 3 - don't want to be too old...) Have 2 years between DS1 and DS2 and found that quite hard periodically, so would go for gap of up to 3 years between DS2 and DC3. Working on DC3 now - well, not right now, obviously. I can't do multi-tasking that well.

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zebramummy · 27/09/2009 21:57

i love having one and it feels a 100pc the way it should be - everyday i tell myself that there must be something wrong with me for only wanting one esp since dh would love another one and i am not even in my mid thirties yet and face no fertility/financial/relationship obstacles at all...however, i always always wanted just one. i have no idea if i shall change my mind itf- if i do, it will prob be a real spur-of-the-moment decision; motivated by my desire to enrich ds' life and stop him chatting to the vacuum cleaner!

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nomoresleep · 28/09/2009 10:58

Wanted 3 with small age gaps - 18 months/2 years. In fact, I have 2 with a four year gap. We won't have a third now - our babies don't sleep/nap and I cant go through any more years of extreme sleep deprivation/constant effort to get babies to nap.

Interesting what you said about teaching in a middle class area where people seem to have 3 or more kids. It does seem that all the yummy mummies where I live have 3 kids.

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IwishIwasmoreorganised · 28/09/2009 11:03

I'd like 3.

Have got 2 with 2 1/2 years between them and we had in mind to have a similar sized gap again, but I think financially number 3 will have to wait a bit longer. Childcare for 2 dc 3 days a week is costing us £940 a month atm so we need to ensure ds1 will be in full time school before number 3 arrives, even then it'll be tight.

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TheFoosa · 28/09/2009 11:24

I would have liked 4, 2yr age gaps beyween each

I have one because I now realise that reality is so much different from fantasy

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Scorps · 28/09/2009 11:26

4 dc, with smallish age gaps

I have 3 and one due Xmas day. There is a 3.5yr gap between dc2 and dc3, which i wish was about a year smaller, but apart from that pretty much have what i want.

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tummytickler · 28/09/2009 11:36

I have 4 dc's 8,6,4 and 2 years.
We want 2 more, hopefully dc5 by the end of 2010, and dc6 in 2012. Hopefully! Or maybe dc6 in 2014 so dc5 would be at school and i could enjoy a bayhood with them, but then i would be much olde, harder to get pg etc. Ho hum! might just leave it to nature to make the decision for us!

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whensmydayoff · 28/09/2009 13:24

Id love 3 with 2.5 year age gaps.
I have one DS and one due in Jan so there will be a 2 year 7 month gap between them....pretty much on track so far !
Only problem is, I had placenta previa with first and a section, if I need a section with this one I was advised a third would be dangerous.
Something to do with the combination of placenta previa and sections plus age and number of children bla bla. Fingers crossed its a natural birth.

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lovechoc · 03/10/2009 20:43

I would love to have two children with a 2.5 year age gap..

But I have one and he is 2.6yrs now and I'm not pg yet, so looks like my dreams have been dashed in regards to age gaps.

Still, I county my blessings to have the one child that I do have, who is happy and healthy.

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isittooearlyforgin · 03/10/2009 21:09

have got 2 with 2.7 age gap but would have preferred 3 years so one was at preschool while could entertain sleep with the other, but now often think that would like even bigger age gap so could pay full attention to dd1, but isn't the grass always greener - the two of them, in between early killing each other, played so nicely for such a long time in dd1's bedroom and at a soft paly place ran around together while i read the guardian!! Wih i could use puncutation;

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IWantToLiveOnAFarm · 03/10/2009 21:10

We have 3 with 2.4 years and 22 months between them.

Would have liked 5 and would have liked a much closer gap.

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isittooearlyforgin · 03/10/2009 21:12

omg! am so jealous of your staying power, invincible parenting; can barely manage with two - am so impressed. If you're really after 5 I have 2 that i can rent out on an hourly basis (only think police might crack down on me if we did!!)

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IWantToLiveOnAFarm · 03/10/2009 21:14

LOL as I am a terrible parent.

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isittooearlyforgin · 03/10/2009 21:14

absolutely not - ou've gone into the fray I am in awe

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clemette · 03/10/2009 21:16

I would have liked four with a 3 year gap between each. I have two with the requisite gap but won't have any more because I HATE being a mother to babies. If they came out aged one I would only stop when nature dictated!
Sadly, my marriage/family/life/sanity cannot cope with any more newborns.

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LittleSilver · 06/10/2009 20:42

Would like 5 - 4 close together and maybe an afterthought aged forty-ish, and if no 5 does not turn up I can't complain with 4 no can I?

Have 4,2 and 4 month old and am working on DC4.

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