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<sweat> DS in the big wide world: help --me-- him with being streetwise please

(5 Posts)
VulpusinaWilfsuit Fri 25-Sep-09 18:15:27

I had one of those moments yesterday when life suddenly snaps into view and you see the future. We were near his likely secondary school (he's in Y6) and stopped at the shop nearby. Three teenagers were hanging around outside drinking cans of beer. They were also pretty much off their faces. They bundled each other into the shop and started hassling the woman behind the counter who told them they were barred but she served them anyway. It was chaos and I won't bore you with more details. Now, while DS lives in a sheltered rural bubble where there's little more than the odd kid throwing a conker at the car to worry about, the Big School is a whole other issue.

And <d'oh> I've just realised I'm going to have to teach him some lifeskills for dealing with Big Lads who are cross, threatening, pissed or otherwise off their faces.

DH and I grew up in various bits of inner city Manchester, so it's not like we were sheltered. And I think I have some pretty decent advice about how to cope when someone's sniffing glue in the corner or hassling you for being a geek.

But it all seems so different and terrifying for my own kid, who lives a different life. He is very protected, just because of the place we live. And the roughness seems just 'rougher' somehow.

Chuck him in and let him work it out for himself? Or help prepare him in some way?

cat64 Fri 25-Sep-09 18:25:46

Message withdrawn

VulpusinaWilfsuit Fri 25-Sep-09 20:29:08

I don't know if they were kids at the school. They weren't in uniform but it was after school hours. This is a pretty well known spot for aggro though.

Does everyone go through this anxiety about their boyss, or is it just me?

deaddei Sat 26-Sep-09 11:57:37

Do you let him out on his own- to meet friends, or to shops? That's a start.
Don't assume bad things will happen...don't let your anxiety pass on to him.
My ds is yr 6 too- his prospective secondary school has a mixed social intake, and he will just have to get on with it as my dd in yr 8 is. Yes, he will meet unpleasant people, but as long as he knows what your rules/boundaries are, all should be well.
Can't wrap them up- they need confidence and ability to deal with social situations.

inthesticks Sat 26-Sep-09 14:30:19

VulpusinaWilfsuit I have two boys and this is my greatest fear. They are 11 and 13 and we live in a tiny village so they are not streetwise at all. In fact even crossing the road in a busy city would be like being on another planet to them.
I suspect if I had daughters my fears would be different but for the boys the risk of attack from the types you describe is pretty high on my list of worries for the future.

I agreed to let the 13 year old go to town and the pictures with friends in the summer holidays. I prepared him with detailed parameters and the ground rules were agreed with his friend's mum. I sat at home counting the hours while he had a great time.
What I can't seem to get through to him is the importance (for me) of keeping in touch when he's not at home.

He goes to a rural comp with a fairly mixed social intake and the behaviour of some of the kids was an eye opener to him at first. However he seems to be learning how to deal with/rub alongwith the rough types.

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