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organsing playdates feeing down

(3 Posts)
crazyashell Thu 24-Sep-09 20:12:15

Okay its a bit daft but I am really shy about arranging playdates for ds at school.
On a few occasions that I have tried to arrange playdates for ds I have text someone no reply this is somebody who doesn,t always do the school pickup so it can be difficult to arrange the playdate.
On another occasion somebody told me that they need to see what they have on and if its okay for their dc to come but nothing more said on the matter.
On another occasion the father took down my number for the childs mother to ring me and arrange the playdate the call never came.
What do I do on all of these occasions do I push it or take it that they can,t be bothered arranging it with me, maybe they don,t want to get into the playdate thing in case they have to reciprocate.
Maybe their children have no shortage of playmates no need to go to other houses to play.
Or maybe their dc doesn,t want to come to ours.
Do they just forget or are they just really busy.
I feel quite confused as to why this happens to me and don,t want to look pushy by asking again.
It is a big thing for me to ask the first time and when nothing comes of it I get so hurt and can,t face asking again in case I am putting them on the spot or something.
Please what do you think it is I am getting quite down about it now.

beesonmummyshead Thu 24-Sep-09 21:45:28

If you are arranging by text, then a quick "reminder" text won't look too pushy, especially if you word it as if it's from your dc (ie just wondering if you had thought anymore about the 29th, as dc is pestering me about seeing your dc).

otherwise how about trying a phonecall, because that can't be ignored can it? just a quick chat and then, once you've ascertained that its an ok time to talk, ask them if they've got their calender because your dc would like to have theirs over to play (or vice versa) - that way they can't really say no.

I don't think anyone - or very few people - will ignore you out of nastiness or cruelty. It really will be that they forgot, or something else came up, or they are meaning to talk about it with their dp first, and a reminder text will push it back to the forefront of their mind.

I know, because although I am fairly outgoing (as in the not shy sense) an fairly organised, there are still a few texts that i've not replied to yet, which i've been meaning to reply to for a few days, but, well, life got in the way

Oh, and whilst a phonecall might be very very hard for you as a shy person, the other person receiving the call will have no idea you are shy, and will treat you nicely (I promise)

HTH

beesonmummyshead Thu 24-Sep-09 21:48:21

And - even if I felt on the spot by someone, I'd still say yes, or make up a (decent) excuse so the other person didn't feel pushy and horrid for asking. Despite what most people think (myself included) - most people are genuinely nice and will go out of their way not to hurt the feelings of others. Especially if we can tell that person is shy, or has taken a huge step asking in the first place.

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