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Is the whole 'little boys love their mothers' idea just a myth perpetuated by mothers of boys?

(70 Posts)
Pinkjenny Thu 24-Sep-09 09:35:13

I am due to have a little boy in December, I already have a 2.5yo dd. Every single person that I tell says, "Little boys love their mothers, they're so loving", blah blah blah.

I mean EVERY person that has boys says this to me, it's like a stock response.

Is it true? Dd is very affectionate and I like to think she loves me too... grin

AnotherBloodySugaBabe Thu 24-Sep-09 09:36:28

I have a boy and a girl. I think it's utter tosh. Just like the whole 'daddy's girl' thing.

Pinkjenny Thu 24-Sep-09 09:37:48

Yes, that is also a myth in our house. More like, 'whoever's holding the chocolate's girl'. grin

spongebrainmaternitypants Thu 24-Sep-09 09:38:25

A weird thing to say - most children love their mothers regardless of gender! grin

Maybe it is a defence mechanism of mothers of boys - I have one DS and 2nd on the way and am stunned by the pity/sympathy I have been offered for not having a daughter hmm. Maybe mothers of sons spout this stuff to stop people telling them how hard done by they are grin.

BertieBotts Thu 24-Sep-09 09:38:59

My stepmum had one of each and told me that little boys wear their hearts on their sleeve, but girls are more private and don't necessarily let you in.

It's probably down to the individual child's character though.

cory Thu 24-Sep-09 09:39:28

It's just a stock response, it's one of those things designed to stop your tongue from cleaving to the mouth from lack of use, really it's a noise. Doesn't mean a thing. I have one of each, they have both gone through phases of being really loving and phases of being not very loving at all

ds at 9 is in some horrible pre-teen phase where everything I do or say is embarrassing- it will pass

Little boys, like little girls, are not there to fulfill their mothers' emotional needs. If this is what your friends expect they run the risk of turning into those ghastly MILs so frequently celebrated on MN threads.

Pinkjenny Thu 24-Sep-09 09:40:18

spongebrain - that's the impression I get. That your consolation prize for not having a girl is a child that is very loveable, and loves you in particular.

pofacedandproud Thu 24-Sep-09 09:41:32

my daughter is probably a bit more clingy than my son was at her age. She won't let dh go near her if i'm around, only if I'm not there. DS and dd both equally lovely and loving.

potplant Thu 24-Sep-09 09:43:05

Perhaps as girls mature quicker than boys (generally speaking!) they move away from the cuddles stage quicker than boys hence the myth that boys love their mothers more.

OrmIrian Thu 24-Sep-09 09:46:04

DS#1 will give me unsolicited affection more often than DD - but she is more likely to do kind things for me. I think it's down to character not gender. I think they are both totally wonderful, and so far, afaik, they think I am.

spongebrainmaternitypants Thu 24-Sep-09 09:46:16

Lol at consolation prize - exactly! Some women can't get their heads round the fact that not all of us are gutted cos we don't have a daughter smile.

I think you're right potplant, boys are generally more clingy for longer, but again this is only a generalisation and there are always plenty of exceptions.

Scotia Thu 24-Sep-09 09:49:47

Potplant, I think you've hit the nail on the head there. I have 4 dds and 2 ds's and you could easily be speaking about my dcs.

MagNacarta Thu 24-Sep-09 09:49:50

Hmm, I don't know I had two dd's and then a ds when I was pg with ds and people said this I thought they were nuts. My dd's were very cuddly and I thought you couldn't get more loving. However my ds is more likely to climb onto my lap and tell me he's going to marry me, he really is very soppy and the girls obviously love me and are affectionate but somehow with ds it's just more.

RumourOfAHurricane Thu 24-Sep-09 09:50:32

Message withdrawn

stillstanding Thu 24-Sep-09 09:53:23

I have a DS who is 2.5 and he is and always has been daddy-mad. I am lucky to get a look in if DH is around which I actually find quite hard although I know he loves us both equally etc etc. Am due in Feb and am (a little bit) hoping for a girl in the (unlikely) hope that it will address the balance!

Anyway my point is: utter tosh - all depends on child and parents. Please ignore.

sockmonkey Thu 24-Sep-09 09:54:16

After two DSs I'm expecting a girl this time. Everyone keeps telling me how horrible girls are! Honestly the looks I get you would think I was expecting the spawn of satan hmm

It's getting to the point now where I'm a bit worried if I'll cope. My boys are just fanatstic, and I'm hoping that my little girl will be too. I don't need people stressing me out!!

IsItMeOr Thu 24-Sep-09 09:56:26

"It's just a stock response, it's one of those things designed to stop your tongue from cleaving to the mouth from lack of use, really it's a noise. Doesn't mean a thing."

So true cory - I have thought that myself about things MIL has said before now (and me too...).

My DS is lovely and cuddly at 6.5mos, but I'd assumed a DD would be as well. And he obviously loves his daddy too.

Pinkjenny Thu 24-Sep-09 09:56:50

grin sockmonkey - It's unbelievable.

I am also constantly amazed by people asking me whether I am going to have a third. Er, let's get number two here first, eh?

Pinkjenny Thu 24-Sep-09 09:58:11

I mean, even a friend who gave birth to a ds last Thursday, sent me a message telling me how much he 'loves his mummy'. He's only a week old!

frumpygrumpy Thu 24-Sep-09 10:05:07

It drives me bonkers too! I have a boy and two girls. Children are different. They love in different ways.

The same irritation goes for people who say boys are slower than girls at A, B or C. MADDENING. No, they do different things at different times.

Same recipe, different cake.
Apples are not oranges.

<<jumps off soapbox>> grin

stillfrazzled Thu 24-Sep-09 10:07:29

Ha! If DH is around, I don't actually exist for DS. Came in from Tesco run the other day to find them playing trains. DS saw me and said "mummy to go now".

Thanks, kid. That gift of life... don't mention it grin

chocolatefudgebrownie Thu 24-Sep-09 10:10:21

I have one of each and I think they both love me equally. Although I am starting to see DD (20 months) being a daddy's girl.

zazen Thu 24-Sep-09 10:10:45

It's just one of those things people say - I got
Yur daughter's a daughter for all of her life,
a son's a son till he takes a wife.
I think this thinking feeds the MIL threads on here grin

FWIW my DD is a very robust physical child, and also a very loving one - she has her times when she needs cuddles and when she needs rough-housing play.

I do think boys develop gross and fine motor skills slower than girls and in the playgrounds we frequent, it's always boys who are whiny and crying after falling (4 to 5 year olds) whereas the girls seem more coordinated at this age, and fall over less, hence less crying and whinging.
I haven't made a survey of it though - so it could be that the boys I've seen playing are just coming down with something - which puts everyone in bad form..

Perhaps differences in development account for these old saws, perhaps not.
Who knows?

frumpygrumpy Thu 24-Sep-09 10:10:54

sockmonkey, ignore!!! How awful for you! I have two girls, both completely different from each other. I love them both wholeheartedly and in a totally different way.

Practise the lines:

"oh, if we don't like her, we're just going to bring her up as a boy" and

"well I'm looking forward to finding out what my daughter will be like!"

I predict she will be gorgeous. My granny always says "babies bring their own love", its so true.

zazen Thu 24-Sep-09 10:12:37

"Little boys, like little girls, are not there to fulfill their mothers' emotional needs. If this is what your friends expect they run the risk of turning into those ghastly MILs so frequently celebrated on MN threads."

good point cory and one to keep in mind regardless who one is talking about.

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