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2.7 yr age gap. Experiences and Pro's and cons

(17 Posts)
bevlin Thu 17-Sep-09 17:18:11

Im 24 weeks PG, due 2nd DC early Jan, DS will be 2.7.
Just read another thread when someone was trying to decide if she should have a very close age gap. Lots of people came back with 14 months, 18 months etc but none of the above gap. They all raved on about how the DC's were good friends, played together, shared interests, no jealousy etc.
Now im worried they will have nothing in common and DS might be really jealous.
How do/did you find it and do your DC's play together?
How did you handle jealousy?

Weegle Thu 17-Sep-09 17:20:54

I don't have any personal advice on that specific age gap but I really think so much of how siblings get on is to do with personality, not age gap. Predominantly the personality of the elder child. There are pros and cons to all gaps. We haven't got to choose ours (took a long time TTC number 2 and now getting twins), so these things aren't always predictable anyway...

leothelioness Thu 17-Sep-09 17:23:18

My dc's are 2.5 years apart. The youngest is now 3 and at this stage we have some sibling rivalry but ds1 was very careful with ds2 when he was a baby. H ewas actually not very interested in the baby at all as he could not walk or talk etc.
They have just started playing together in the last year and even now there is a big difference in the things that they like but a would guess that would diminish with age.

Rindercella Thu 17-Sep-09 17:25:09

Will be following this thread with interest.

I am expecting DC2 in March when DD will be 2.7 years!

ginhag Thu 17-Sep-09 17:46:21

I started a thread a while ago about slightly bigger age gaps (search on my old nickname, nolongerchunkybutstillapudding and you should find it)

I really wanted kids close in age,as there's only 17 months between me and my brother and we were so close growing up...

However you don't always have a say in these things-I was expecting a 21 month-ish gap but found out at 12 week scan I'd had mmc... Was devastated but the replies on the thread I started really helped,and backed up the theory that it's more about personality than age.

Which is good as ds now 20 months and I'm still not bloody pregnant! Have decided it's prob not worth sweating things I can't control...

Hth

ginhag Thu 17-Sep-09 18:11:42

<ahem>

Just realised it would take you forever to find the thread

here it is

justaboutautumn Thu 17-Sep-09 18:14:29

Message withdrawn

Janus Fri 18-Sep-09 11:38:32

My first two are 2.9 gap and LOVE eachother (most of the time). They are older now (9 and 6) but still share a room as they don't want to be separated! I think the big thing is they are of the same sex, I think they are more likely to get on but do agree it is also hugely down to personalities.
I also have a one year old so that gap is massive but they both love her too!!

poppysocks Fri 18-Sep-09 11:49:10

We have a 2.6 yr age-gap between our two and that's what we wanted. We were SO exhausted and emotionally wrung out by DD1's first year that we couldn't contemplate another for quite a while but also wanted to concentrate on just her for a good while.

DD2 is now 13 months so don't know yet exactly how it will work out but DD1 being old enough to understand about the new baby when she arrived felt us feel much better about all the changes. She was SO excited when DD2 arrived and has been so caring. I know that's her personality, but I don't know that it would have been as easy if she'd been a lot younger.

Another reason that we decided against a small age gap was that we wanted to reduce competition between them when they're older re: exams, friends etc. as I remember that being a real issue for some friends.

IMHO 2-3 yrs is the perfect gap as they're not too close together for your sanity early on and for them re: competition. They're not too far apart though for being at the same stages etc.

As I type this, my two are curled up together hugging on the sofa. Better break it up and give them lunch. smile

Pyrocanthus Fri 18-Sep-09 11:58:59

2.7 here! It suits us fine. They've played really well since DD2 got up on her feet and became reasonably interesting. They're 9 & 11 now, and though they have their moments, they are very close. DD1 was jealous and stroppy for a while when DD2 was newborn, but only with her parents; she was always very careful with her sister.

ShellingPeas Fri 18-Sep-09 19:46:46

I have 2.9 between by DS and my DD. Initially they had little interaction, but a lot of that is because my DS didn't really play with other children until he was 7 or so (he has been assessed as borderline Aspergers).

Now that they are 10 and 7, they get on fine - usual minor spats between siblings, but I have had no serious problems.

I would also say that my sister and myself are 2 and a half years apart and as children got on fairly well. We did go through a competitive patch when in early teens but we now have a very good relationship.

bevlin Tue 22-Sep-09 15:26:41

Feel bit better now, thanks. Think im just starting to think ahead and wondering how DS will be/cope.
justaboutautum What advice re parenting sibbling's would you give - or indeed any parents of 2 or more that get on. What would be your best advice?

justaphase Tue 22-Sep-09 15:34:55

SIL is a child psychologist and says in her opinion 3 years is the best gap (with all the usual disclaimers of personalities etc).

vickyjo Fri 25-Sep-09 16:25:04

i have to say that the age gap between dd2 and dd3 is 2.4 and they get on absolutely great. very fortunate that dd2 has always had a good nature. if anything the biggest problem i have is between dd1 (9) and dd2 (3) who clash terribly!

Ruby40 Fri 25-Sep-09 17:15:00

The age gap between my DDs is 2.8 years. They are very close, have a strong bond and generally play very well together. They are polar opposites in personality. When they bicker however they do it REALLY well and it inevitably ends in tears. I think it is a great age gap but then I don't know any difference!

cakeforbrains Fri 25-Sep-09 17:27:21

DS1 was 2.7 when DS2 arrived. The first few months were fine, but DS1 got major jealousy issues when DS2 was about 4months that we are still dealing with now (they are now 3.1 and 6m). DS1 regressed on toilet training and resents if I'm having to spend time attending to DS2's needs. Having said that, DS2 adores his big brother and DS1 is old enough to understand that he needs to be careful around DS2. We try to handle the jealousy by giving DS1 one to one time when we can, e.g. during DS2's morning nap I try to do a defined activity with DS1 like baking or painting. My sisters also try to make a big fuss of DS1. Another bonus is free nursery entitlement at age 3 - gives DS1 time away from the baby and me time with just DS2. I think they will have a good relationship when they are older, we're just starting to see them playing together.

Bigboots Sat 26-Sep-09 22:54:40

2.5 here. Absolutely fab! When Ds2 was born Ds1 was old enough to understand and be a bit independant but also quite happy to play at home contentedly when necessary. Ds2 enjoyed toddler groups as a young baby too. Now, aged 4 and 6 they are best mates, play together in the yard at school and have just gone to bed having watched 'Strictly' all snuggled up together on the same armchair. Having said all that, when they argue/fall out it can be quite spectacular! wink

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