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Admission of Problems

(3 Posts)
SussexDad Thu 17-Sep-09 08:55:23

I'm a Dad, I hope I'm welcome on Mumsnet smile
My DW refuses to discuss how life has changed since our DS was born 1 year ago. She thinks that we wanted him therefore we have to accept how it is. She hates it when I grieve for how life used to be, seems to think that this means I somehow don't love him or don't want him.
Which is not true, its just that from time to time there are aspects of my old life I would like back! And I strongly believe that talking about it is a healthy thing, ignoring these things and pretending they aren't there is not a healthy long term strategy for dealing with them.
Maybe I should start talking on here instead of to her and then we'll be Ok with it all.

FlamingoBingo Thu 17-Sep-09 08:58:20

Hi Sussexdad. Does your DW miss parts of her pre-children life too?

Personally, there are things I miss, but I would rather live in the present and embrace the wonderful, and very, very short time we have with our children now, in the knowledge that it'll be all too soon before our children are off and we're back 'footloose and fancy free'!

I agree about talking and communicating, but dwelling on 'what once was' isn't healthy, I think. I think you'd be better and enjoy your current life more if you can focus on what's wonderful about it.

Portofino Thu 17-Sep-09 08:59:36

Your life DOES change when you have a child - not in a bad way usually - but it can be hard to get used to. It's a shame that your DW doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe you could elaborate on which aspects of your life you want back.

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