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I'm a rubbish mum and I'm sure DS is going to grow up to hate me!

(7 Posts)
Narketta Wed 16-Sep-09 18:53:40

My DS is 3.5yrs, I love him more than I can say there are times that I look at him and I get a lump in my throat and the love I feel for him takes my breath away.

But then there are the times that he infuriates me to the point that I want to scream.

I always wanted to be a mum and knew it would be tough at times but I just don't know how to cope anymore.
He doesn't listen to a word I say.

He screams and stamps his feet if he can't have what he wants right when he wants it.

He has the shortest attention span of any 3 year old I know and won't play by himself for more than 5 minutes. I sit and draw, paint, play with playdough, read to him and DD who is 17mths, And the minute I have to move to do something else ie cook dinner, peg out the washing, change DD's nappy he tells me i'm nasty and he's not my friend anymore and then proceeds to shout and scream until I do what he wants.

Everything is just so hard with him at the moment, right from the moment he opens his eyes he starts making demands and if he doesn't get what he wants it's like a war zone.

I just really don't know how to cope, I've tried sitting him down and reasoning with him and he turns his back to me and ignores me. I've tried the naughty step but he screams and stamps on the stairs so loud that i'm worried the neighbours will call SS.

And although I promised myself I would never be a shouty mum, I have a sore throat most nights from shouting at him. Everythings spiralling out of contol and I don't know what to do. I just feel like every day is a battle that DS is winning.

When I go to bed at night I always check on him and there have been nights that i've cried because I feel guilty and useless and if we carry on like this he will grow up to hate me.

colditz Wed 16-Sep-09 18:57:45

When he is screaming and stamping - disengage. Engaging will infuriate you BOTH. Pick him up and carry him to his bedroom, and put him in it. Hold the door shut, but speak to him gently through the door, telling him it is time for him to calm down, and when he stops screaming you will take him back downstairs.

Let him scream until his need to scream is satisfied (I mean angry screaming, not hurt or scared screaming). If the neighbours call SS just explain that the child has tantrums and you are dealing with them the Supernanny way.

TheFoosa Wed 16-Sep-09 19:01:41

I would say it's impossible to reason with a 3.5 year old

do the time-out thing as colditz says, we have all been there as parents and it can be unrelenting at times

but he won't grow up to hate you and it will get better

he's very sweet, btw, looks like butter wouldn't melt smile

TheFoosa Wed 16-Sep-09 19:02:45

is he at pre-school?

Narketta Wed 16-Sep-09 19:06:47

Thanks colditz I will try putting him in his room, I wish DC's came with instructions.

TheFoosa Thankyou, looks can be deceivinggrin

Narketta Wed 16-Sep-09 19:12:27

Yes he's at pre school, he goes for 2.5 hrs per day. When I picked him up today the first thein he said was
"Mummy can I have a lolly when we get home"

I told him no because we were going to have dinner as soon as we got in but he could have a lolly after dinner.
As you can imagine that didn't go down well at all.

Narketta Wed 16-Sep-09 19:13:54

The first thein??
The first thing

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