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Private school or move to Country to avoid DC's becoming drug dealing gang lords!

(6 Posts)
bevlin Mon 14-Sep-09 14:50:59

OK, I sound nuts already and maybe I am but ever since my DS (2.3) was born I have worried myself sick about the area we live in or indeed the world!
Partly because my DH and I were brought up here - we know what goes on! Partly because I worked for the police for 12 years and partly because I look at the kids around and think, why bother putting any effort in, they are screwed by the time they are 10!
I could go on with a million reasons and I know people will say 'it's how you bring them up' but I beg to differ. Whilst working in the police I know that as many 'bad' kids come from good families now as there are so many more 'bad' families. A huge part of their personality comes from their peers.
Right, here's my dilema.....
We are towny's through and through. We lived within a one mile radias of where we are now, our parents (great babysitters) and friends and DH business are all here in town. We love it and are happy.
Im a stay at home mum and have made a life and new friends out of it and am due DC2 in January.
We have managed to sell our house and buy a plot of land for a good price and as my DS is in the building trade and can build it for a reasonable price - it will be a fantastic 5 bed, 3 public room family house with 3/4 acre garden complete with it's own woods in the countryside near a beach with amazing state schools in the near by village. Idillic sounding isn't it hmm!
Probelm you spoilt bitch you may ask.....there is NOTHING else out there, what will I do all day on my own with no family or friends and two children under 4. Everything means driving and im used to everything being on my doorstep, walking and passing friends on the way. It's an exclusive development full of mega rich folk - scary and so far not friendly. You'd need to buzz the buzzer on your neighbours electric gates to see them! Not my world and not what we are used to.
Option 2) Sell it when built in approx 2 years and use whatever profit to fund private school on other side of city (which also means moving). My DH has no pension so this would be the most and prob only large sum of money he will be lucky (and we know we are lucky to have found it) to make so it's a huge deal, we are by no means rich and couldn't afford to pay the fee's monthly from our earnings.
We went to view the private school this morning and wow!!! The kids were so happy looking, very very polite, beautiful school and surroundings, so many opportunity's for them.
Problem is it's on the busy busy traffic side of city, would be a major nightmare every morning to get there and take 40-50 mins of sheer road rage. They are not allowed to get the school bus until they are 8. We'd then have to move to that side of city into a much smaller house than we would ever have as it's so expensive (city centre.
Ugh, I realise it's not life and death stuff here and Im sure people will roll eyes and say they'd love to have my problems, I know im lucky to have those two great opportunities BUT, it's which road to take to make sure my kids are happy and being a Libra, I can't decide which knickers to put on in the morning never mind what path my kids life's should take!
I was moved schools and areas 4 times in my childhood and it was hell and did nothing for my confidence or my brothers so I need to make this decision now. We are renting just now and are here for another 18 months while the house is being built. I have registered my DS at the local nursery for first year and sent application away today for private school primary one.
What's your thoughts if you haven't fallen asleep?
Even if nobody gives a sh*t, it was good to empty my busy head onto here!

LyraSilvertongue Mon 14-Sep-09 15:02:07

Aren't there any good state schools in the city? Could you move closer to one of them, buying a better house with the proceeds of the building plot?
Tbh, a big house is no substitute for having a decent life with friends, family and things to do on your doorstep, so I'd avoid option one if I were you.

bevlin Mon 14-Sep-09 16:17:03

I think you are right, the house would be a 5 minute wonder.

LynetteScavo Mon 14-Sep-09 16:21:52

OK, I only scanned the OP....but I think you might want to kill yourself of boardom in the country. I moved form the middle of a small town to the edge of a small town and it seriously drove me crazy. Of course I had no sympathy from anyone because I had a lovely house.

I don't think there are less drugs in the country than the city...

LynetteScavo Mon 14-Sep-09 16:22:07


hocuspontas Mon 14-Sep-09 16:31:22

My plan - sell the house when built. I wouldn't live anywhere isolated like that. Start looking now at other towns within a radius of 40 miles from where you are now. You may be surprised at what you can get for your money. There will be plenty of towns - small and large with good state schools and a bit of 'life'. You will make new friends etc. And you won't always be a SAHM if you don't want to be AND you won't be more than an hour from your old friends and family.

Good luck though - whatever you decide to do!

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