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tell me it's going to get better after monday morning...

(7 Posts)
BettyFriedan Mon 14-Sep-09 09:10:41

so woke up this morning and just want to go back to bed
went to NCT do yesterday and DD (6 mths) screamed to high heaven every time someone else held her while none of the other babies did. She's started doing this over last week or so. sure its just a normal phase but no one else was doing it and felt everyone was looking at me thinking what a bad mummy.
DH and I not having the best of times either....not sure where we are going.
also weaning not going super well
just need some simple suggestions to cheer myself up. please don't tell me it's all my fault. just have no one in RL to talk to because I waited for this baby a long time - feel i can't complain...

kormachameleon Mon 14-Sep-09 09:17:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littledawley Mon 14-Sep-09 09:25:46

I can only echo what korma said - you will have periods when you feel like everyone else is doing so much better than you but trust me, they're not!! Most people are actually sympathetic and the judgey ones will get their day when their darling turns into a terror.

When I had DS he was a big fat barrel that I couldn't seem to fill ("oooh, he's a big baby isn't he") and I worried that everyone thought I was feeding him crap. Then from about age 1-2 he used to bash random children at any mother and baby group that we went to. I had some lovely friends that tried to help by telling me that their child usedto do the same but I'm ashamed to admit that I just thought they were patronising me blush

You are having a bit of a bad time at the moment but soon your baby will turn a corner and you'll wonder what the problem is. Is it possible she's teething? My DD is 6 months and has just got her first one and has been very clingy.

Buy yourself some chocolate today and assure yourself that you are fab and your DD will never want another Mummy smile

Dazmum Mon 14-Sep-09 09:29:24

Not your fault at all, don't beat yourself up.

I know how you feel, as my DS did the same when I took him to a series of antenatal classes with other mums and babies. They had a series of people to talk to us and no matter what I did, my DS was the only one to scream the place down - I tried walking around with him, feeding, changing, cuddling: nothing worked, and you feel like everyone is looking on and thinking you are hopeless, and pleased it's not their baby doing it, but they aren't at all! I even didn't go one week because of it. When I took him into work for the first time, he did it again and one of my colleagues ( a mum herself) took him and walked round with him and he stopped! I felt completely hopeless, and in all cases, as soon as I put him in the car and started driving he dropped off to sleep immediately - so why didn't he just quietly go to sleep in the event!?

Have you got someone from NCT that you could invite round and have a chat to? With a first baby everyone has something they aren't sure about, and sometimes asking what other people are doing can help. I had only just moved to the area when I had my DS and didn't know anyone either, as well as being quite shy, so got together with a couple of other mums and pooled our ideas on weaning etc. Really helped. Have you got a nice health visitor? You could ask her round for a chat too.

Hope you feel better soon, but you definitely aren't a bad mummy.

Boco Mon 14-Sep-09 09:36:13

Weaning is tedious isn't it, I hated it. My children seemed to hate all food until they were about 3. Realised that they need far less that I had thought, in the beginning it's just a taste isn't it, rather than a meal.

Sorry things are so hard. Is it possible to make sure you have a bit of time for yourself. Could you leave the baby with dh for an evening and go and see a film with a friend or go out for a drink? Makes a huge difference to get the odd bit of time outside the house with a friend to just relax and be yourself.

BettyFriedan Mon 14-Sep-09 10:34:32

thanks for all the kind messages. there's no one really i can talk to - i would feel such a failure, plus as i say i think they all think DD v badly behaved.
i don't want her to be like me - a worrier and not confident, and I am concerned that even this young i've transmitted worry and non-confidence to her and made her clingy.

HVs shudder - they are run off their feet where i live and no time to sit and talk

Boco Mon 14-Sep-09 14:33:35

Oh don't feel like a failure. I doubt there's a mother anywhere who does't have moments where they worry they're doing it all wrong. And anyone who thinks that a six month old is being badly behaved is just daft, I'm sure they don't think that, it's just that you're feeling insecure about things and so assuming that's what people think. Why not have another go, and tell people how you feel, I bet they tell you that they have days like that too.

Hope you feel better soon x

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