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Please give my proposed explanation to dd a thumbs up or down

(20 Posts)
MaMight Sat 12-Sep-09 19:16:26

Dd loves to talk about babies and how they grow in mummies' tummies etc etc, but today she asked quite specifically how exactly they get out.

As it happens there was a lot of chaos this morning and her attention had wavered before I answered, but I know she'll come back to it in the next day or two.

I don't want to feed her nonsense, so no storks, no doors in mummy's tummy, no fairy dust.

She is as tenacious as your average 3-year-old, so won't be fobbed off with 'the doctor gets the baby out' or anything like that.

But, anything I say will be announced loudly and repeatedly in the supermarket, so I was thinking about possibly phrasing it cleverly. Not sure how though.

I was thinking "babies come out of your vagina, which is a part of your vulva" and then reassuring her with something along the lines of "only mummies have special bits to let babies out".

Not sure though. Is that age appropriate? Too much? What would or did you say?

(She's 3).

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepysox Sat 12-Sep-09 19:26:30

I told my DS aged 4 1/2 the same as themildmanneredjanitor.

blametheparents Sat 12-Sep-09 19:30:13

Yep, I'd go with mildmanneredjanitor's explantion.
When I told my 4 yo DD this, she looked at me aghast and said 'That is revolting' grin

sleepysox Sat 12-Sep-09 19:33:38

I should add that when I told DS he asked if he could see it grin
Said 'no' obviously!

MaMight Sat 12-Sep-09 19:34:44

Simple and factual. It's good. I think I'll use it.

Am bracing myself for

"A hole in your bits?"
"Can I see?"
"Do mans have a hole in their bits too?"
"Do little girls have a vulva like mummies?"
"Do little girls vulva not have a special hole for babies?"
"Why do only mummies have a special hole for babies?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"

<repeat at top volume in all manner of inappropriate venues>

grin

choufleur Sat 12-Sep-09 19:36:43

Had to tell DS recently as he was getting very upset that people get poorly tummies when they have a baby (Friend recently had c-section). I explained that sometimes doctors have to help get the baby out of mummies' tummies and it's a bit poorly for a while after but it all gets better. Mostly though babies come out of mummies front bottom (wooly term i know but what we use at the moment in our house). we push them out a bit like going for a big poo.

CybilLiberty Sat 12-Sep-09 19:36:45

I would just talk in terms of ' a hole' Let her learn the proper names later.

sausagetits Sat 12-Sep-09 19:37:00

Why would you not show your DCs your anatomy, if it is relevant?

sausagetits Sat 12-Sep-09 19:37:20

to sleepysox

CybilLiberty Sat 12-Sep-09 19:38:18

I don't think a 3 year old getting the same view as a gynacologist is really necessary.

sausagetits Sat 12-Sep-09 19:39:56

I'm not talking flashlights up fanjos, just that there is nothing wrong with children seeing their parent's genitalia if appropriate.

sausagetits Sat 12-Sep-09 19:41:23

MaMight, I think your explanantion sounds just right.

thedolly Sat 12-Sep-09 20:23:20

I do this thing with my hands, (a bit like an air hostess grin) whilst repeating the phase 'the baby moves down and then out'.

Have you got the correct picture in your head?

It worked for us. At a later stage DD asked 'so does it come out of your bits?'. She was very pleased with herself when I said 'yes'.

She is 8 now and we have recently told her the whole story.

iheartdusty Sat 12-Sep-09 20:42:46

y'know, sausagetits, I was wondering that myself the other day.
I would be perfectly happy to show DC any other part of my anatomy, and we generally go for the scientific approach all round - we have endless books with 3-D pictures of The Body, we look closely at dead animals found in the woods, etc etc. They both know all about the 3 special holes that women have, and so on.

but somehow, it just doesn't seem right for either DS or DD to have a good gawp between my legs.

presumably they have or will have a good look at each other, sometime, so they won't be totally unaware of the general layout.

sleepysox Sat 12-Sep-09 20:43:00

To sausage tits
Not sure I can find it atm as am 36 weeks pg grin

Plus DS has aspergers and if i showed him, he'd think it was Ok to go and ask ladies in the post office for example to show him their vagina. Not appropriate really.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepysox Sat 12-Sep-09 20:50:52

Totally agree mildmanneredjanitor.

Heated Sat 12-Sep-09 20:51:47

DS asked today about babies coming out and how we chose his birthday and I was gearing up to giving the explanation, got as far as 'Well, women push the baby out...'

"Oh, ok" and he wondered off.

Mehtinks we could be revisiting this conversation at some point...grin

sandyballs Sat 12-Sep-09 21:03:22

I wouldn't go into too much detail with a 3 year old, basic stuff will do.

Until recently my 8 year old dd's knew that daddy had a seed and mummy had an egg and when they meet 'during a special cuddle' a baby can be the result.

In the car the other day me and DT2 had the following conversation:

DT2: Mummy, you know this special cuddle, what is it exactly, what kind of cuddle?

Me: Mmmmm, well a very special cuddle, when you love someone very much .... stalling for time, whilst driving.

DT2: I don't get it mum, what kind of cuddle?

Me: Well the man puts his willie in the woman's winkie and that is how the seed meets the egg? [a friend of mine was horrified that I didn't use the proper names!]

DT2: Long pause .... that is gross.
Another long pause .... so have you and daddy done that? grin

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