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I don't do the school run. Is this a good or a bad thing?

(18 Posts)
nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 09-Sep-09 14:18:58

DH and I role swapped nearly a year ago following redundancy. I work full time and he looks after the kids aged 4 and 2.

DS1 just started school and I took some off work to drop him off and pick him up on the first day. He was great, i got all misty eyed and now we're into our normal routine where i walked halfway with them, then go off to work. I see them all again at 5pm.

I'm seeing all these threads on here about what to wear? how to strike up conversation? who's the cow who sits in her car? AIBU to not like the cliques at the school gate? etc etc.

So am i missing anything? I don't know the mums as we have just moved here this summer. I've met two who seemed lovely and we've arranged to go cycling without the kids in the evenings. And because i work full time i don't feel the need to have loads of friends to spend time with during the week. But then the mums i get to know might not necessarily be the mothers of the children DS1 wants to play with.

What am i missing? and should i go into work later on some days if i am missing anything?

(am home with a hideous cold)

Mamazon Wed 09-Sep-09 14:24:43

you should read my threads about our school. you'll be glad you don't go then

EleanoraBuntingCupcake Wed 09-Sep-09 14:25:06

i am sure your dh is perfectly capable of doing the school run, jus tmake sure he doesn't wear animal print.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake Wed 09-Sep-09 14:26:14

yes, you need to wear helmets at mamazon's school run

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 09-Sep-09 14:27:46

no animal print, check
helmets? well he does this occasionally because he picks him up on the bike.

paisleyleaf Wed 09-Sep-09 14:28:17

Most of us are just there to pick up the DCs.
I'm puzzled by the threads about cliques myself.

weegiemum Wed 09-Sep-09 14:29:55

My kids come and go on the school bus.

I don't think I'm missing anything!

Pyrocanthus Wed 09-Sep-09 14:36:27

Ditto what paisleyleaf says - I pick up the children, I have a couple of friends, I enjoy the social contact as I work from home (don't seem to be at the moment). That's it.

GooseyLoosey Wed 09-Sep-09 14:39:58

I do the school run twice a week.

On the days when I do, I do find that there are some cliques who can make me feel isolated and lonely, however there are also lots of people I enjoy talking to.

I get to see more of how the dcs are in school and how they interact with their friends.

Sometimes being there is a good thing, sometimes it is not.

If you think you are missing something, it might be worth giving it a try once a week. That said, I can honestly say I have never, ever noticed what anyone wears to do the school run.

gallery Wed 09-Sep-09 14:40:22

I work but go in early one day so can pick up my son one evening a week- that gives me chance to see other parents and the school gate thing- No you are not missing anything. I thought all the stuff about what people wore (or not) was just some light hearted fun on the chat forum. All my eyes are on are the door of my little one coming running out to hug me- I don't notice anyone else.

OrmIrian Wed 09-Sep-09 14:42:24

Nothing IMO. Socially I mean.

BoredShitlessbytheDailyMail Wed 09-Sep-09 14:47:37

I loved it when I was working FT and wasn't doing the school run. It is to me nothing more than a chore that I'd really rather not have to do, much like a lot of others really.
I gain nothing socially from it, I have lots of friends, DD has lots of friends, I don't need to be friends with their mums, I can talk to them to make any arrangements needed, beyond that we have nothing in common besides our children, I don't want to be friends with them.
I imagine the school gate mums probably place me firmly in the weirdo or anti social or whatever group. I go to school to drop off/pick up DD and thats it.
You're missing nothing!

Ironically I get on V well with DD's best friends mum, and she doesn't do the school run so I never see her there! lol

Snowstorm Wed 09-Sep-09 14:49:33

I chat and arrange playdates with mums and/or dads at our school - makes no difference to me.

OtterInaSkoda Wed 09-Sep-09 16:25:31

IME You’re missing out on having to fight your way through a bunch of perfectly nice but rather bovine individuals and very relaxed women standing around discussing what shop/yoga class/café to visit that morning, that’s if they’re not mobbing the poor teacher because they simply must tell them something utterly trivial terribly important about Constanza’s homework/imagined ailment/genius. Yes I work FT and yes I do sometimes feel a little envious of the SAHMs grin

Having said that I do like to do pick up or drop off a couple of times a week, just to see ds mix with his buddies in a school environment, iyswim. Pick up’s better than drop off, ime, for that reason. If you can do one here and there then do – but don’t feel you (or your dc) are missing out if you don’t.

UnquietDad Wed 09-Sep-09 16:37:49

I think Otter has it in one!

And at animal print.

I do most of the school run and had to put up with puzzled looks at first, but they soon got used to me.

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 09-Sep-09 17:34:13

it all sounds very unappealing.

think i'll pass.


nevergoogledragonbutter Thu 10-Sep-09 19:09:13

i went along this afternoon and tbh it wasn't much fun other than seeing his face when he saw i was there.
but then he whinged that because it was me i didn't have the pram and he couldn't hitch a lift on the back.

didn't notice much boden either.

ComeOVeneer Thu 10-Sep-09 19:28:06

As somebody who moved into a totally new area, the school run was a godsend to make new friends and develop a social life (however I became a sahm when we moved, althouggh I now run - or am setting up_ a business from home).

It depends on the person you are, wether you already have a big enough frined group/social life , work etc.

It also depends on what the school is like. Ours is a Surrey school but no means a yummy mummy 4x4 territory. The mums (and dads) are fab we have fantastic nights out, some of us holiday together, go away for the weekend, help with childcare etc is also great. BUt I know a lot of what I am posting is others idea of hell grin

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