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Where do you go for stimulating grown-up conversation in real life?

(28 Posts)
morningpaper Thu 02-Jun-05 19:22:51

At Mother and toddler groups the conversation always seems to center around, um, mothers and toddlers, and I rarely talk to anyone for more than 2 minutes at a time.

Where do you go for stimulating grown-up conversation in real life? Book clubs, work, dinner parties?

And what was the last real-life stimulating conversation that you had all about?

compo Thu 02-Jun-05 19:24:43

I find that it is easy to steer conversations away from babies at M&T groups byt just saying 'so did you Desoerate Housewives this week'. Not sure if you mean more stuff like plitics though. I go out witha friend once a week and also get stimulating conversations with my dh. How about phoning a good friend or relative for a chat as well?

Mothernature Thu 02-Jun-05 19:27:07

Grown up conversations only happen here and @ work mostly @ home with clubs or dinner parties here..last real life stimulating conversation was probably end of last week with dh, but is still currently under discussion about the possiblity of a new job more money and the need for a new car...boring to some of you but high on our list at the moment..

starlover Thu 02-Jun-05 19:27:46

i just talk to myself.

WigWamBam Thu 02-Jun-05 19:28:39

Stimulating, grown-up conversation?

What's that?

Donbean Thu 02-Jun-05 19:28:48

I know what you mean about toddler groups!
I am fortunate that i have a wide circle of good friends, many with children, some without. The conversation always comes back round to our kids but we talk about all sorts totally unrelated to children.
I meet friends for dinner (im doing that tonight as it happens),work,even play dates are not dominated by baby talk.
The last stimulating conversation i had was with a friend about God parents, i wondered if she felt let down by the role that the God parents to her children had taken. Insomuch as they are not really around. Although this was about children it wasnt if you know what i mean.
Good conversation keeps my sanity most days actually.
How about you morning paper, what was your last stimulating conversation?

snafu Thu 02-Jun-05 19:31:04

Stimulating, grown-up conversation...rings a bell. I'm sure I know what that is...hang on, it'll come to me.

Can I get back to you?

morningpaper Thu 02-Jun-05 19:31:30

Before I had my daughter I had lots of fascinating and intelligent friends - although I see them occasionally I am using trailing a 2 year-old behind me, so our conversations are generally rather stilted.

Yes I have people I could ring, but it's not quite the same as an evening of banter and argument with lots of intelligent interesting people.

I wondered if this was something that other parents miss, or whether they still get this kind of stimulation?

Magscat Thu 02-Jun-05 19:32:46

I'm looking forward to going back to work for precisely this reason. I do have one best mate that I have stimulating conversations with but she has 2 kids as well (and works) so we don't get time together often.

Dinner parties? Clubs? What are they then?

Recent conversation topics with best mate & partner:
Social class - does it still exist & does it matter
World poverty - can individuals really do anything about it?
Death - explaining it to kids
Bradford City FC - Will we ever be any good again & is it worth getting a season ticket when you've got small kids?

morningpaper Thu 02-Jun-05 19:33:23

Donbean: Last week I went on a play-date and was fortunate enough to have the 'babies' disappear to trash the upstairs of the house, and us mummies discussed the incompatibility of the feminist domestic ideal with the practical realities of motherhood! How appropriate.

snafu Thu 02-Jun-05 19:34:20

I really miss it. In fact, I think it's the thing that I miss most about the pre-kids time - the evenings spent sitting around a table with a few friends and a few bottles of wine and putting the world to rights. I just never, ever get that opportunity any more.

bunny2 Thu 02-Jun-05 19:34:47

Most Saturday nights we have friends for dinner or go to someones house. We usually have a good few drinks (well I do, dh nearly always drives) and a good laugh. Of course our children do frequently pop up in the conversation but we also have some good adult chat too.

Aimsmum Thu 02-Jun-05 19:34:54

Message withdrawn

Donbean Thu 02-Jun-05 19:36:07

I wouldnt even say that i have conversations with intellectual people, (dont mean that how it sounds!) they are just very interesting people whos company i enjoy.
For instance, DH and i are friends with a couple who are both police officers, they are absolutely facinating to talk with. We go to dinner with them once a month or so, or they come to us with a takaway and we just natter the night away.
Other friends are like me in terms of job and interests.I suppose that i am exceedingly lucky to have the long term friends that i have.

Donbean Thu 02-Jun-05 19:39:50

There are of course conversations on different levels depending on who it is you are talking to and the subject matter.
Many people i have some what superficial talks with, there are very few people who i feel comfortable to have in depth converstaions with as i feel that they just wouldnt get me IYKWIM.

bensmum3 Fri 03-Jun-05 19:20:30

Oh help, just realised I might need to do grown up conversation this weekend, as I'm going away with grown ups only.leaving the children with my 4th child (dh) What can I talk about ?

stitch Fri 03-Jun-05 19:29:30

i dont.
the most grownup conversations i seem to have are on mumsnet. otherwise im just a sad sad person.

expatkat Fri 03-Jun-05 19:30:30

TBH it's my childless friends who give me stimulating grown-up conversation more than anyone else. Even the mum friends with whom I have a long pre-child history tend to veer into child-centred talk before long.

hatsoff Fri 03-Jun-05 19:44:08

first port of call is dh. putting the world to rights over a bottle of wine just about constitutes a hobby for us. Sometimes we invite friends over for dinner to help us. It's been five years now since we were bowled over and knocked sideways by dd1's entry into this world. And I think we've got to the stage now when we've realised we're not the first, we won't be the last, and there are only so many conversations about washable nappies/weaning/sleeping you can have. We've even nearly got over talking about school (presumably we'll start again in 6 years). At one party recently (all girls) I found myself siding with the two girls with no kids, and calling for a 10pm moratorium on baby talk (all the others had babies or toddlers). I have emerged from the other side and it feeeeeels goooood.

huggybear Fri 03-Jun-05 19:46:39

all me and dh seem to talk about is the kids. i ussually have a proper chat at college but thats about it.

morningpaper Sat 04-Jun-05 22:06:26

I do have lots of conversations with DH - but sometimes it seems like it's ONLY with him and my thoughts and ideas feel very stale, like they need a good beating out in a group of like-minded people! If that makes sense.

If I hear another mum mention something relating to current affairs I am knocking small children out of the way trying to join in.

Catsmother Wed 08-Jun-05 15:50:25

This is so close to my own heart. Like all other decent mums, I love my toddler to bits but the lack of intellectual stimulation drives me up the wall.

The closest thing I ever seem to get to an "inelligent" conversation is when the checkout woman at Tesco comments upon my purchases !

kama Wed 08-Jun-05 15:53:29

Message withdrawn

beansmum Wed 08-Jun-05 15:56:05

I honestly NEVER have a proper grown up conversation anymore. The last one was with some americans who wanted to know if I believed in Jesus. I was so happy to be speaking to a grown up about something other than children that I actually stopped and spent 5 minutes filling in a survey about my religious beliefs. nice people actually, but very serious.

eldestgirl Wed 08-Jun-05 15:58:37

I moved away and everyone I know now has babies/children. Miss my reminiscing with old friends SO much. It's not that they have to be childless to get a good conversation going, it's more that I knew them before we had children.
Book Club is OK. DH not bad actually, if we go out for dinner and have a couple of drinks. But he's not here much and wants to know what the children have been up to.

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