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I feel so guilty - 2 gorgeous dds but I'm mindnumbingly bored?

(17 Posts)
whelk Tue 08-Sep-09 14:49:23

Not all the time, but more than I feel I should be.
i feel like a real failure to admit this but I have two gorgeous dds 2.6 and 4months. Both girls are pretty easy really and Im generally coping Ok. My problem is that I am BORED- so so bored by the monotony of the endless washing, endless housework.
And I feel envious that dh gets to have these lovely dds but also gets to have a life outside the home too.

Im on mat leave for a year with dd2 and will go back to a job I love. Honestly Im so much happier when working (I have a lovely job, 3 days a week) so I only have 6 months or so to go. I don't want to go back earlier as I feel to go to nursery younger than a year isn't for me (appreciate that it works for some, and Im not judging others choices). Im exclusively bf so maybe I'll feel more free when I start solids/ formula.

I feel as though there is something wrong with me. Why isn't it enough for me to be at home with my lovely dds?
Am I wierd? Does anyone else feel like this?

pippel Tue 08-Sep-09 14:51:19

I feel like that, in fact I keep visiting work!

FlamingoBingo Tue 08-Sep-09 14:53:30

Go out. Join NCT and volunteer with them. Meet other mums. Invite them to your house and discard all ettiquette - make sure they stay as long as they want to to shorten the time you're on your own with your children. Train in something with NCT, or something else that will fit in around your DDs. Is there a bf support group you could volunteer at and maybe train as a peer supporter?

Ceebee74 Tue 08-Sep-09 14:53:58

I feel exactly the same. I have 2 DS's (3.2 and 10 months) - I am due back at work next week after DS2 was born and am actually looking forward to it.

hambo Tue 08-Sep-09 14:56:14

Yip - it is pretty relentless.

Reallytired Tue 08-Sep-09 15:00:49

Lots of mums are bored stupid being at home with small children. I love my children, but I need something more.

I have enrolled myself in a level 1 BSL course. Prehaps you could do an evening course in something that interests you. I'm exclusively breastfeeding and I am planning to express once a week.

whelk Tue 08-Sep-09 15:06:40

Thank you so much. I do have some good friends with kids the same age as dd1 that Ive made through NCT and anetnatal yoga but they are all at work part time. I think its more needing something other than just kids......So glad others feel the same.
everyone in RL looks blankly when I mention the monotony - stupidly I thought it would be a 'bonding' thing. Duh!

Acinonyx Tue 08-Sep-09 17:22:47

I sometimes think there must be something wrong with me because I don't want to be with dd all the time. She's just started school and I think that's great!

I've been doing a PhD part-time throughout (2 or 3 days/week) and I think I would have gone totally bonkers otherwise. She's a fabulous child and much wanted - but I am not really into kiddy stuff.

Sad to say I don't think anyone irl feels quite like I do - even the professional mums.

Gateau Wed 09-Sep-09 09:33:36

I don't have two DC - YET (DC2 due in Oct) - so I'm not in the same situation as you but I know I couldn't wait to get back to work after mat leave with DC1. It's actually now that I really miss not being at home- but I'll have a year of that in four weeks' time smile and I'm hoping I'll enjoy it all more the second time. I will really try to as this will probably be my last child.
When people initiate posts like this, they always get replies that encourage them to go and meet other Mums in different groups. Have to say I found this pretty boring as well, first time round: the endless small talk about baby minutiae bored me stupid. My saving grace was that I met a few (but not as many as I thought I would) proper friends out of it all - with more in common than motherhood - and I'm hoping I'll meet some more.
Being a SAHM is simply not for everyone. And you'll find a lot of people who remain as SAHMs are actually bored rigid and so ensure their days are filled up with class timetables for their LOs. hmm Not for me.
If these classes didn't exist, who knows, maybe a lot of SAHMs would be rushing back to work.
Follow your heart and do what is right for you and your children.

whelk Thu 10-Sep-09 10:39:18

I feel so bad as I do find that I resent dh - he gets to carry on with life, knowing that dds are being well looked after (by me - well, wellish!!). There are some days when he walks out of the house, closing the door on the mundane house behind him I wish it were me. Whats wrong with me?

whomovedmychocolate Thu 10-Sep-09 10:46:01

Nothing wrong with you! I'm really bored with my two as well, it's just crap. I have a big bloody brain I'm not using. However I have decided to go back to work. My youngest is now 14 months old and I'm worried about how to look after him so I think a nanny is the answer but neither my sanity, nor my marriage will survive much more of me feeling like this

whomovedmychocolate Thu 10-Sep-09 10:46:01

Nothing wrong with you! I'm really bored with my two as well, it's just crap. I have a big bloody brain I'm not using. However I have decided to go back to work. My youngest is now 14 months old and I'm worried about how to look after him so I think a nanny is the answer but neither my sanity, nor my marriage will survive much more of me feeling like this

ClaraDeLaNoche Thu 10-Sep-09 10:52:00

I only have them two days a week and sometimes am dying with boredom. Isn't that terrible. Sometimes I am sitting at playgroup and I look normal but in my head I am trying to read other parent's minds to see if they're thinking "OH GOD THIS IS BORING". I would love someone to shout it out.

RumourOfAHurricane Thu 10-Sep-09 10:53:31

Message withdrawn

pasturesnew Thu 10-Sep-09 10:53:37

Nothing wrong with you at all, children are lovely and all but it's not all fun and playing all the time, the biggest shock to me on becoming a mother was how much HOUSEWORK becomes part of your life and how dull and tedious this is when you have to do it ALL THE TIME to keep your kids fed, clean and safe, never mind nicely turned out ...

Agree with other posters re going out to groups etc. but even then it can still be boring as there is not much of a sense of achievement day on day. I like going to baby cinema screenings for something else to think about, but it's harder with an older child unless you have some childcare - are there any nurseries nearby that you could put your older DD in for a couple of sessions a week? She'll be entitled to LEA nursery from the term after she starts 3 anyway.

You are not alone, this too shall pass etc.

theansweris42 Sun 13-Sep-09 20:02:15

I only have one so not got bored in the same way yet but can defo see it happening as i do get bored at groups esp. when the conversation is ONLY about the children and with the rounds of washing and repeating songs and stuff.
I think doing things as others have said is the key - so things with your LOs during the day and also maybe evening things with your friends even if can only be every so often - just to have that variety and your own life outside the home. I went out for dinner and a glars of wine with a girlfriend this wek and it was aces. Dinner out pre baby used to be par for the course but it felt like a nice time out for me.

theansweris42 Sun 13-Sep-09 20:04:09

laughing at ClaraDeLaNoche, might shout it out!

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