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How do I cope with confontation from people with different views and not feel really bad?

(9 Posts)
mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 14:35:01

How do I cope with confontation from people with different views and not feel really bad? Thats it really, had a bad experience over the last day where someone seemed to think my children were awful and I am finding it really hard to mentally deal with as we didn't deserve it and it upset my dd (5 yrs).

We seem to have annoyed these people because my kids and a couple of other kids were playing in a muddy puddle when we were camping. They were supervised and not going crazy just a bit noisy. We cleaned up after them afterwards too. For some reason we evoked the wrath of the aggresive (small woodland)campsite owners who literally screamed at the kids and us three times in the time we were there (6 hrs) and I am finding it hard to let go of the mixture of feelings I am left with. We left the site after the third time as the agreesion increased and one of the kids was left shaking.

I don't believe the kids were mis behaving and can't see we were really at fault but now we are at home I feel really wound up by the the anger we were exposed to and a mixture of self doubt that my own judgement must be so dreadful I can't see it and also a remnant of fear and confusion and intimidation. I feel like hiding from the world.

I am not the kind of parent who lets their child run amock, though I am respectful of my kids view and needs (we practice attachment parenting I suppose)I am also respectful of others. I don't get it.

My bright 5 yr old is pretty shaken up by the experience and keeps asking what we did wrong. I just can't explain.

(By the way I used to post under Lailasmum but now, after a ong gap not posting I can't seem to log in I have forgotten all my details so have new profile.)

misdee Tue 08-Sep-09 14:40:59

need more details of the puddle incident needed

mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 14:46:53

They were jumping in and out of the puddle ( not huge about a foot by 2 foot across), got filthy as they all fell over (all 4 kids 5 and under), we changed and showered them. Really not much more than that. The edges got slippery so we cleaned it up so others wouldn't have problems-It was next to a path.
Think they played for about an hour.

I think its not so much the incident its the feelings afterwards, I don't get why we were talked to if they had a problem and also how to deal with the snap judgement of others. I take everything to heart.

I have come to the conclusion they just didn't like the noise.

mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 14:47:48

ooops that totally didn;t make sense. I mean why weren;t we talked to if they had a problem to screamed at

mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 14:48:35

not screamed at even

mrsruffallo Tue 08-Sep-09 14:51:33

If you are left feeling shaken after ignoring them I think what you need to do is deal with confrontation there and then.
There is nothing wrong with defending yourself, and your children come to that, from people who are being rude to you.
Promise yourself that next time you'll stand your ground. People like this seem to swiftly back down when they realise you won't be bullied

KnickersandVests Tue 08-Sep-09 14:56:29

Perhaps they didn't like the noise and the mess? Perhaps other campers had complained? Perhaps they have been trying to minimise mud at the site? Perhaps they are just miserable fuckers who don't like kids?

You don't say what the owners said/shouted at you?

Is it a very child friendly/orientated site?

The DC's will be more affected by what others say and think if you are too. If you honestly think you weren't doing anything wrong (it certainly doesn't sound as though you were, messy but fun) then you have nothing to worry about.

People have different ideas about what's right and wrong behaviour for children. Don't let it bother too much.

mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 15:03:39

I would say messy but fun summed it up and yes mrsruffalo I needed to deal with stuff at the time its clearer in hindsight, we were so shaken and intimidated I freaked I think.

Just writing it makes me feel a bit better. I'm the kind of person who really worries what people think, always have been.

Te site seemed ideal for us forest based, supposed to be for enjoying nature and had good reviews.

mummamumma Tue 08-Sep-09 15:06:44

I think is we misjudged the site and shouldn't have been there. It was a lovely family site but obviously they didn't want kids there.

Thanks for all your replies

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