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am i a lazy mother??

(10 Posts)
EverythingsPink Mon 07-Sep-09 13:02:06

my dd will be 2 in dec. and goes to nursery 3 days a week. so i don't even spend all day, every day with her...but i find myself wondering what to do with her!

we go to the park, we go to the farm, we occassionally go swimming...but sometimes i just have to stick the telly on for an hour and tidy up!! i just feel like i'm letting her down a bit not filling our days with story reading and painting. Is this normal? What do you do with your kids? Am i daft to feel guilty? she does painting at nursery and stuff but i haven't tried it at home - largely because they say she doesn't even enjoy it at nursery and wonders off...Isn't she just a bit young for that kind of thing though?...

Or am i a lazy mother??

hayes Mon 07-Sep-09 13:05:09

not a lazy mother but a normal mother in my opinion. smile

MuppetsMuggle Mon 07-Sep-09 13:09:38

I'd second that hayes - a normal mother.

I'm the same, sometimes I think we don't do enough together but other days we do too much iykwim.

MrsBarbaraKingstanding Mon 07-Sep-09 13:10:37

Ho, just normal.

Gets easier when they play on thier own, or have siblings and play together. You then don't feel the need to 'amuse' them.

Small children can be dull and I remember hat 'what now' feling when they were younger well.

weegiemum Mon 07-Sep-09 13:11:42

Normal!

wheredidiputmyfone Mon 07-Sep-09 13:14:16

Totally, totally normal smile

LaTrucha Mon 07-Sep-09 13:15:28

I would be surprised if anyone looking after a child at home didn't have to have an hour to tidy up, telly or no.

Currently my DD spends most of her days carrying things from one end of the house to the other, though this is her choice not mine. She used to adore books. ATM she sits on my knee for two pages and then gets down.

I think as long as your DD is geting one to one time with you (maybe in short snatches) and you are offering her stories etc it's fine. If she's clearly unhappy and whiny you might need to up the one-to-one. I find my DD is very clear about it if she's not getting enough attention.

Everyone tells me painting is a nightmare at home. I tried it outside once but DD just looked at me funny hmm

Also, was very reassured to read in a toddler book that kids learn alot from just following you around the house watching you do things. It also said that what a toddler really wants is 100% attention all the time, which is clearly impossible. They also need time to play by themselves to assimilate what they're learning / picking up from the world around them and you. (DD is constantly 'explaining' things to her doll).

I recently had a very difficult time after a bereavement and felt I needed to watch myself to make sure I was giving DD enough fun with mum so I set myself these rules: if she had had a few books, a few songs and I'd made her laugh three times a day at least, I was doing ok. I don't think it's a bad rule of thumb, if you're worried.

LaTrucha Mon 07-Sep-09 13:16:36

My DD is two on the first of January, BTW.

ismellofbabysick Mon 07-Sep-09 13:19:29

normal, normal, normal!

My dd3 does the cleaning with me. I give her her own cloth and a spray of polish and she's well away.
You can't entertain them the whole time, also they'll come to expect it.
DD1 age 8, is terrible at playing on her own, whereas the other 2 have no problems.

Roomfor2 Mon 07-Sep-09 13:22:19

You sound like me, OP. I think it is just the difference between a mother who works and one who doesn't.

It's hard to think ahead to the days you have the DCs at home and plan painting, crafts, cooking etc with them, when you are working and trying to fit everything else in through the rest of the week. By the time I reach my days 'off' (i.e. on mum duty), I am usually exhausted and need to go shopping, so the most exciting thing is a trip to the supermarket or an afternoon with all the toys out in front of CBeebies!

I justify it by reminding myself that DD has been at nursery all week and probably appreciates a bit of downtime, plus we do more with DH on the weekend, so a les exciting weekday or two is no big deal, really.

Definitely easier when they are older. Mine is 2.7 now and we can do things like cutting and sticking, painting, simple cooking etc. much more easily so it's less of an upheaval and needs less planning. Tesco do some really good, cheap basic craft stuff in kits (if you have a large store near you) so you could gather some stuff to keep handy just to get out and do for an hour - doesn't need to be a big event if you have it all to hand.

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