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Panicking about dh going back to work following paternity leave... tips please!

(9 Posts)
Picante Fri 04-Sep-09 19:50:52

Have 3.4 yr old ds and 2 week old dd. Dh has been spending lots and lots of time with ds, giving him loads of 1-2-1 attention.

Ds in all fairness has been pretty good with dd - just being overly affectionate so I can't leave him alone with her.

DD is suffering with wind, not as bad as colic but I can't really put her down much, esp around dinner/early evening.

Dh works in London and doesn't get back til 8pm at the earliest, usually nearer nine.

I think what I need most is tips for getting dinner ready and ds to bed, while dealing with dd (also bf)! Ds is already difficult going to bed, and I think he's going to resent dh going back to work and being left with boring mummy!

TIA.

becktay Fri 04-Sep-09 20:01:37

i just had the same thing. what got us through was either carrying the baby in a sling or putting down to nap at ds1's dinner time.
i won't lie, it is a juggle but you get through it and make a new normal! i also use a dummy with ds2 (was a bit snobby about them with ds1 but have found it invaluable to settle baby quickly and buy time with eldest).
also to be honest cbeebies was on a lot more than usual in those first few weeks. you can breast feed and read ds1 stories, helps if you bolster the baby up on a few pillows!
good luck wink.

Tambajam Fri 04-Sep-09 20:01:49

I had a DS aged 3.4 when I gave birth to my DD. Spooky. I also have a DH working in Central London who is very rarely home before 10pm.
What saved my bacon was a sling. Best purchase I ever made. Not a baby bjorn but a proper sling where she could be in a cradle position. I had a peanut shell pouch sling and latterly a maya lightly padded ring sling. She was in the sling from about 4pm onwards. I would cook DS's dinner (carefully), have dinner with him, give him a bath, read him stories, put him to bed, all on my own.
She was sometimes a bit fussy and I jiggled. She sometimes fed but she was remarkably content. Sling made absolutely all the difference.

Northernlurker Fri 04-Sep-09 20:05:46

I think you need to plan his dinner quite carefully so it's stuff you can do easily and with one hand if needed. I always find jacket potatoes easy to do - not much to be done.

Picante Fri 04-Sep-09 20:20:48

Thanks. I've got a babasling which she loves so I think she'll just have to stay put in there for a bit. Tamba thanks - I'll have a look at those other slings as well - is it possible to bf while she's in there?

becktay Fri 04-Sep-09 20:31:56

i had a kari-me and often bf a bit messily whilst cooking.

JimmyMcNulty Fri 04-Sep-09 20:44:05

Picante
Same here. Ds1 is just over 3, ds2 now 5 weeks, dh rarely back before 8. Ds1 got used to lots of fun and attention while dh was on paternity leave.

Can you get any help? I've had my mum and MIL to stay a couple of times which was great.

I/dh cook and freeze a bit at weekends so I can just microwave something for ds1's tea during the week, and also make use of some (whisper it) kids' ready meals (shock grin). We have a Cook shop near us which does really lovely ones.

I have a Moby sling which I can breastfeed in leaving one arm free to get ds1 bathed and ready for bed - ds2 is breastfed and pretty much constantly latched on from 5pm till about 9pm... Jobs requiring 2 arms mean ds2 just has to cry and wait his turn, which I hate but can't see a way round it. Ds1 had a dummy but ds2 won't take one - he just chokes on it!

Bedtime has been a bit tricky in that ds1 has been quite possessive about me at that time, but I've found that if I have ds2 tucked up hidden in the sling and perch ds1 on my lap to read him stories like we always did before, ds1 almost forgets ds2's there.

Tambajam Fri 04-Sep-09 21:10:14

Whether you can bf with a peanut shell depends a bit on your shape as it's not adjustable. Definitely possibly with a wrap or ring sling though. DS's evening hardly changed when DD arrived and that was all down to the sling. I am a bit of stuck record, aren't I?

mathanxiety Sat 05-Sep-09 05:55:45

The sling and the microwave (for reheating meals you make at the weekend) and also a slow cooker are now your new best friends. smile Try to take a shower and get dressed before DH leaves for work in the morning, or you'll never get to do it.

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