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just totally lost the plot and smacked dd, need help

(13 Posts)
toostressed Fri 04-Sep-09 13:06:20

as the title says really

she's been winding me up all morning, constant whining, screaming, refusal to behave, demanding, know the score. she's 2.7

anyway she was throwing a tantrum again and fell on top of her baby brother, her full weight on him (he's 8m) and i went beserk - picked her up, smacked her about 3 or 4 times on her bottom, carried her to her room and dumped her on the bed, all the while screaming at her

she looked terrified and i can't get that image out of my head. I know I should have kept my cool but something inside me just snapped, i felt out of control.

i feel like shit. what a shit mother i'm becoming. i need help.

how do others stay calm in the face of relentless moaning, screaming, whinging,'s like torture to me and i'm just knackered and feel like running away.


FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 04-Sep-09 13:08:20

Your protective instincts came out for your baby.

You know what you did wasn't great but it is done.

Have a drink, go and give her a cuddle and move on.

Is the only way and try very hard not to get in the situation again where this can happen.

She is old enough to be told not to do this on the baby.

Tee2072 Fri 04-Sep-09 13:20:03

It happens. We all have a snapping point.

Have a cup of tea, go apologize to her for hitting her and dumping her on her bed. Have a nice long snuggle and a chat about how she needs to be very very careful around her little brother.

Can you get someone to watch both of them, even for an hour, so you can get a break and some sleep?

TanteRose Fri 04-Sep-09 13:21:55

Don't worry too much - as FabBakerGirl said, go and give her a cuddle, say you're sorry...
we all lost control at some point - I remember screaming at my DD when she wasn't even 2 yrs, because I was trying to get newborn DS to sleep and she bounced into the room and woke him up again. I shouted "Oh, FFS, I could f'king KILL you!!!!" sad and she backed out of the room, looking terrified...

I still sometimes feel like running away - mine are 10 and 11 now grin
But of course, I don't (run away, I mean) and neither will you.
Now go and give your DD a big cuddle!

kittywise Fri 04-Sep-09 13:23:25

Don't worry, these things happen and they've certainly happened to

smackapacka Fri 04-Sep-09 13:32:49

Be kind to yourself that you kept your cool for as long as you did.

RoryGilmore Fri 04-Sep-09 13:40:14

Fab is right - it's the protective instinct coming out. it's terrifying though, isn't it!

you're not a shit Mother.

motherbeyond Fri 04-Sep-09 13:45:01

oh,it's a horrible feeling isn't it..losing control? like everyone says,it has happened to the best of us.i think internet forums are fantastic for this sort of thing.i would probably have never admitted to anyone in rl,that when ds was newborn, and dd not even 2,she bit his finger and i screamed at her and threw her on her bed and left her there for about 30 mins. sound familiar?! and now because you have told us about this,we have told you our shameful breaking point stories,you know you are not a bad mum at all..just a tired human being,with alot on her

toostressed Fri 04-Sep-09 15:37:24

i know, i couldn't admit this behaviour to anyone in rl

we both calmed down and i said i was so sorry and gave her a huge cuddle. i love her so uch but my god she really can get me going crazy. how can someone so little affect me so much?!

i just feel rotten and guilty. she's at nursery now and before we left she said 'sorry for shouting at you mummy' so she's well aware of what she's up to!

i am on my own with 3 dc (5,2 and 8m) and am just exhausted. dh works away from home and won't be back for 3 weeks, he's been away for about 8 already. it's bloody hard work.

i need to find a way to get through to her - it's the screaming that does me in. I've been saying it's just a phase for about 18 months now hmm

thanks for all your kind words, i was expecting a roasting!

Alishanty Fri 04-Sep-09 16:13:50

I think we all snap at some point, you have to be a total saint if you don't. I remember I smacked my ds on the leg because he kicked his newborn sister in the head, so I know what people mean about the protective instinct coming out! Just say sorry to your dd and ask her to be more careful next time.

JODIEwantsanewname Fri 04-Sep-09 16:25:01

toostressed you are not alone, DS1 is 3 next week and DS2 is 14 months and DS1 constantly winds DS2 up, it taks me about 1 hour to get dressed in the morning as I'm having to break up the fights, i get so run down with it every bloody day that if I have to say, 'leave your brother alone' one more time I swear I'm leaving the house and never coming back (I know that won't happen grin)

Also the constant whining, demanding, crying, attention seeking, not doing as told, really grinds me down, sometimes I could gladly give him away, but when he is nice, he's so lovely....

I really snapped this morning and litraly (sp?) roared at him, (and swore blush) smacked him and locked him in his room, but I was (and still am a little bit) at breaking point, sleep deprivation doesn't help DS1 was up most of the night last night, so both me and him are in vile moods sad

I'm not (hopefully) hijacking your thread, just letting you know that you are not alone and your not a bad mother for losing your temper, we all do it, it's just not something they talk about at Mother and Toddler group! grin

TheScatterGunApproach Fri 04-Sep-09 16:27:52

Oh god, I gave my DD a smack on the bum after she bit me!

You feel terrible for losing control but we are all only human and you just need to forgive yourself and move on.

I think 99% of us have snapped at one point or another!

toostressed Fri 04-Sep-09 17:08:36

it is reassuring to know i'm not alone in this

told dh what i'd done and instead of berating me he sympathised, he seems to realise how hard i'm finding this

sleep deprivation is def an issue, ds2 is teething and is being hellish and clingy. nothing i do for him seems to help!

must read 'how to talk..' again and try to implement a better way of parenting

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