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7 year old boys is it just their age

(10 Posts)
walkthedinosaur Sat 29-Aug-09 20:57:13

DS1 is driving me nuts, is it just a 7 year old thing?

He's wild, never used to be and it's been a long summer holidays I know, but he's not listening to me, answering back, deliberately ignoring me, the list is endless.

When I try and speak to him he sticks his fingers in his ears and shrieks go away, I'm not listening. I end up losing my temper and screaming like a fishwife which isn't good, doesn't make any difference anyhow.

DH works away so I'm here on my own and right now I could commit murder.

When he's good he's a lovely boy and to be honest it's only been these summer holidays where I've had trouble, but he's really pushed it. I've tried reasoning, threatening, bribing - nothing works.

I'm so looking forward to him going back to school on Thursday, although if he gives his teachers any of the attitude he's given me this last few weeks I think he'll be out on his ear.

So someone with an older DS tell me this is just a phase, a hormone spurt or something, give me a light at the end of the tunnel.

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Sat 29-Aug-09 21:02:46

It's a hormonal spurt, don't put up with it though, stand your ground. I find the "How dare you! The way you are behaving is disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself because I am truly appauled(sp?)" speech works really well, look horrified, don't laugh or cry, look stern and forceful. A bit of guilt works wonders, especially with boys, it's helpful to make them think about their actions rather then tell them off.

tummytickler Sat 29-Aug-09 21:37:21

My ds is 7 at Christmas and has been behaving like this for a while now, and i am really really struggling with it - he is foul to me.
I do a lot of shouting, but to be honest , it just seems as though i am picking on him, so i have started trying to joke or play him out of his moods - it works quite well, but is really hard to do when he is really horrid - i have to catch it early - and some days i could just cry sad.
It is so hard not to shout, but he has recently started hwetting himself (very occasionally, and just a little), and dh says it is because i shout too much at him sad.
It is just so hard - i really hope he will come out of it soon, but i am starting to think that it is wholly because of me that he is like this.
Will be watching this closely!

But, if you can handle it, try the joking, play thing, as when it works, it works really well, and i would say it works for us 50% of the time - and i need to start before i am too angry and upset by his behaviour - so timing is important here. Might be worth a go?
The fingers in the ears thing drives me beserk grin

groggymama Sat 29-Aug-09 22:29:01

"How dare you! The way you are behaving is disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself because I am truly appauled(sp?)" wtf fluffy?

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Sat 29-Aug-09 23:02:25

Harsh I know, I felt terrible but it changed the way he spoke to me. It was on the recommendation of a good friend.

Corporalcornsillk Sat 29-Aug-09 23:06:08

I agree with Fluffy.

weegiemum Sat 29-Aug-09 23:20:13

I have a 7 and a half year old ds and fluffy's speech (followed by 10 mins in his bedroom and then a little more talkign to followed b yhugs works a treat!

My ds has always been "sparky", but since about April he has had occasional "nutty" moments along the lines of "I hate being in the family" and "you are too cruel to me" (after I took away his screen time for repeatedly slapping his 5yo sister!)

You need to be firm but fair.

Apart from ds, I have girls - dd1 is 9, dd2is 5. Neither of them give (or have ever given) the lip that ds does. But dd1 can sulk for Scotland, adn whatever I say about ds, he never sulks!

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Sat 29-Aug-09 23:40:27

I'm a believer in change the behaviour, not the child IYSWIM, don't tell them they are naughty, just the way they have chosen to behave is naughty. It seems to work for us.

walkthedinosaur Sun 30-Aug-09 08:33:26

Thanks for the advice. We've had a little chat this morning and he says he doesn't know why he does it or how to stop it, so we'll have to see.

I've tried sending him to his room but even that ends up as a battle with him refusing and then me dragging him up there and telling him to think about his actions.

His dad did speak to him on the phone tonight and did tell him he wasn't happy with him - thank goodness for webcam because it's like a face to face telling off.

Like I say we've had a little chat this morning when all is calm so we'll see how the day pans out. This behaviour is starting to wear me out that's for sure.

Takver Sun 30-Aug-09 13:34:48

walkthedinosaur you could be describing my dd (also age 7) this last 2 weeks, maybe its something in the air! She is always prone to getting distracted in the middle of doing things, ignoring people etc, but it has been spectacularly worse of late. And whereas she normally ignores us because she is focussed on something else & genuinely doesn't take it in, atm it seems more deliberate (she is hearing us, just refusing to take any notice.)
I have been trying really hard to get out every day for as long as possible, but because the weather's been bad its hard to be out as much as we normally would be, and I don't think that helps. Also we've moved & she's really unhappy about having left where we were.
Similarly, she also says she doesn't know why she does it or how to stop, we also have had the 'I hate you, I'm going to run away' etc etc.
My only other thing is that I've just (ie last night) come to the conclusion that she's got threadworms & treated them, which has happened a couple of times before, & both times she was absolutely vile, so I am hoping that getting rid of them will help.
She also tends to be horrendous before coming down with something (like the week before she came out in chickenpox), I know other parents have said the same thing, maybe your ds could be sickening for something?

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