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opinions wanted please

(35 Posts)
carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 13:58:23

hi , my dd (3) still wants to drink milk from a bottle , my parents have said they don't see the harm it is doing giving it to her yet a friend of mine is making me & dd feel awful by jeering dd when she asks & comparing her to a baby etc which annoys me ,
dd has very bad eczema & i feel this is kind of a comfort thing with her , i would just like other mums opinion please ,
thanks x

Angeliz Sat 29-Aug-09 14:01:51

My son turned 3 last week and he stil loves his milk at night in a bottle (he never wanted a dummy so this was his soother). He starts nursey soon and i'm sure he'll drop it then.
My dd was the same and she dropped it when she started nursery.
I don't see the harm myself. They grow up at their own pace.
Tell your frined to butt out

MarriedtoanOsterich Sat 29-Aug-09 14:02:15

My dd, nearly three has given up her night time bottle during this summer. She rarely had one during the day, sometimes when ill. She never sucks her thumb or has a dummy and so I saw no harm. I'm not sure it's good for teeth to have a bottle too much but if it works for you and her I would let her carry on. As for your friend I think it's very out of order.

belgo Sat 29-Aug-09 14:05:19

I think that's an awful thing for your 'friend' to do. Tell her to stop, or stop seeing her. It's absolutely none of her business. The reasons you have for letting your dd still have a bottle are very understandable.

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 14:15:08

dd has a dummy but only looks for it when she is tired ( does not sleep well because of the eczema) she asks for 2 bottles throughout the whole day again when she is tired , she has just started pre-school so therefore last week she only had a bottle at bedtime ,
my friend looks disgusted when dd asked for a bottle the other evening & dd walked away hanging her head down & upset after my friend called her a baby sad this really annoyed me as the friend only has one 8month old dc therefore i felt like telling her to wait & see if he gives up his comforts as easily as she would like , but decided to bite my lip , she is a fairly new friend & voices a lot of opinions iyswim .

Angeliz Sat 29-Aug-09 14:16:16

well i think she should keep her mouth shut!

belgo Sat 29-Aug-09 14:21:46

You really have to ask yourself if it's worth keeping her friendship.

Corporalcornsillk Sat 29-Aug-09 14:23:47

Your friend sounds horrible.

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 14:25:46

thanks guys , i have said things like - " ah well im sure she wont want a bottle when she is 10" etc just to make light of it but friend still tries to make dd feel bad , which in turn is really annoying me ,
this friend lives very close to me so i don't want to fall out over this but at the same time i want her to leave dd alone ,

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 20:27:10


nickschick Sat 29-Aug-09 20:29:37

The thing is all children find comfort in various things and having a bottle at 3 is no big deal.

Id boost up what your dd does that is above average.

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 20:40:58

thanks nickschick , i really do think its just a comfort thing with her , & i don't see any harm in it myself but i just wanted other mums opinions on it i suppose , she is advanced in other ways , she wrote her own name yesterday for the first time , smile

nickschick Sat 29-Aug-09 20:44:46

sshhhh and dont tell anyone elsewink ds3 is just 16 and still sleeps with 'simba' on his pillow blush - ive had several fone calls at night asking where simba is .....blushgrin.

nickschick Sat 29-Aug-09 20:45:00

ds1 not ds3

girlsyearapart Sat 29-Aug-09 20:48:20

My niece still has one at nearly 4, she stopped for a while but is back on them again.
Hard when you have a milk addict dd1 hated milk so not too hard to drop dd2 has Nutramigen and I can't bloody wait til she stops.
Does your dd have real milk? Our dd2 nearly 1 is on that formula due to awful excema and can't have dairy.
Also we gave her a dummy - which I swore I'd never do- as she needed some kind of a comfort/distraction from the itching.
If your friend's child had excema then she would know why you'll do anything to comfort them.
As long as she's only having 1 at bedtime and then brushing her teeth it can't be too bad?
If you're really bothered tell your friend you gave up the bottle as you're probably not together much at bedtime?

LadyOfTheFlowers Sat 29-Aug-09 20:50:50

I had to go cold turkey with DS1 at 3 as drinking milk from a bottle at night rotted his front teeth out.
He only ever had milk at night and would never touch it in the day - i forgot milk has sugar in it too. blush

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 20:56:46

grin nickschick , secret is safe with me lol . v cute , ds 10 sleeps with a huge cuddly teddy .
girlsyearapart , yeah she loves real milk , unfortunately friend seems to always pop over in the evening , ah hour or so before dd's bedtime , she popped in today & dd asked for a glass of warm milk {shock} then when i gave her the milk in a cup she turned to my friend & said " i am having my milk in a cup now x " blush the minute x left dd asked me for a boppy , lol grin

LadyHooHa Sat 29-Aug-09 20:59:45

Personally, I don't think any child over 12 months needs a bottle for any reason - but I think much more strongly that your friend should butt out!

DS is 7 and still has a cuddle blanket. Children find comfort in different things, as your friend should know if she has children.

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 21:06:20

oh ladyoftheflowers blush i never thought of milk having that much sugar ,
friends first dc is only 8 months old so she has not got a lot of experience ,

logi Sat 29-Aug-09 21:21:23

Hi carelesswhisper, my ds is 5.8 and still has a bottles of milk i think you need to say something to your friend.I went through this with my ds, people comparing him to a baby but now he tells people he has a bottle and that he wants them when he is a dad lol. Too many pressures are put on children/people through life.So what if she has a bottle its your choice to decide what is right for your dd and if shes happy theres no problem.Also i havent had any problems with my sons teeth.

carelesswhispers Sat 29-Aug-09 21:32:01

oh logi , thanks for putting my mind at rest , my parents think its great that dd still loves her milk & said i should keep giving her bottles for as long as she wants them , dd has a very healthy diet , she loves her vegetables & fruit & only drinks milk & water most of the time , its rare she asks for juice ,
lol at your ds , good on him smile

waitingforfanjo Sat 29-Aug-09 23:46:33

My DS is four next month and still has a bottle of milk every morning. It does seem a bit silly, but he never has a bottle any other time & I suppose it's all part of his little routine. It's just what he does, gets up, brings his 'blankie' & teddy & asks for his milk.
Doesn't really bother me as he'll drop it eventually. If he was wanting to drink everything out of a bottle, it would be different.

Portofino Sat 29-Aug-09 23:55:50

DD still had a bottle at night til much the same age. We lost the dummy but the well chewed bottle continued for a while. We tried milk in other cups etc but nothing doing. Your friend with 8 month old has obviously over dosed on baby manuals and needs a dose of reality.

edam Sun 30-Aug-09 00:00:20

Your 'friend' sounds like a really nasty bully. Sneering at a 3yo, for heaven's sake. Disgusting. Ask her how she'd like someone doing it to her child when she or he is three?

But you might want to make sure dd brushes her teeth after her bedtime bottle. Or talk to your dentist - has she had a check-up yet?

Clary Sun 30-Aug-09 00:05:39

Your friend sounds rather unpleasant doesn't she - I would never be so mean to a 3yo.

OTOH I would also be keen to avoid a 3yo having bottles - it's not good for her teeth as s/one else has posted.

Could you try to wean her off them and offer sthg else as comfort (new cuddly or similar?) that won't be bad for her teeth?

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