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Am I Being Overprotective???

(15 Posts)
shellmc Fri 28-Aug-09 20:30:35

Hi, I have a gorgeous little boy who is 12 weeks old, this is my first baby and i am soooo proud and soo happy with him.
The thing im wanting to ask is was anybody else worried about anyone watching their baby or is it just me and im weird and as in the title 'am i overproctive??'.

Me and hubby take turns altho he is back at work now and soo most ov the feeds, changing and playing is down to me, i spend time with my mum and brothers most days for company and mam usually takes over for a hour or soo for me to have a cuppa and just sit LOL.

The thing thats got me asking this is my motherinlaw insists i should let my DS stay over at hers............but i dont want him too. I know people just wanna help but i just really dont want my baby away from me, i wouldnt settle i just know i wouldnt. I know most people would be gratful for the help im being offered but i dont want him to stay away from me just yet.

My DS has started noticing now when i leave the room and crys sometimes my motherin law says its because i dont let anyone else have him!!!!!!! I am doing it all wrong???
I dont mind people holding him and feeding him ect its just the fact i dont want him to stay away from me.

Anyone else feel this way??? xxxx

singalongamumum Fri 28-Aug-09 20:34:23

There is nothing wrong with what you're doing- a 12 week old baby should be with his mum if he can. It's far too early for people to be offering to have him overnight- I didn't let DS stay away from me til he was 14mo. And the fact he cries when you leave the room is a GOOD THING because it means he is attached to you and that is exactly what he's supposed to be at this age. I am sure your MIL is just being helpful, but she is clearly over enthusiastic and you should feel confident in telling her no thanks. :-)

BonsoirAnna Fri 28-Aug-09 20:41:32

Your MIL is being very interfering. Just tell her that you and DS are not at all ready to spend time apart yet.

Littlefish Fri 28-Aug-09 20:44:24

12 weeks old is much too young for him to be away from you overnight. Perhaps she could have him for an hour or two instead, and build up slowly over about a year!

Dd spent one night away from me when she was 9 months old and it was awful (for me)!

cinnamon81 Fri 28-Aug-09 20:45:26

He is still tiny and needs his mum. It's totally natural to feel protective of your baby and want to be near him. Just say to your MIL that your not ready to leave him yet. I've only just left my 14month old daughter overnight and really missed her.

wheredidiputmyfone Fri 28-Aug-09 20:46:42

And what's wrong with being overprotective?? smile He's your LO and it's not up to anyone to insist he stays anywhere! It's lovely that you don't want to be away from him, hope your MIL doesn't go on too much about it.

mrshedgehog Fri 28-Aug-09 20:47:52

You are not doing anything wrong - you'll know when you feel ready to let him stay overnight. My DD1 didn't stay the night with family until she was 2 !! I just didn't feel the need before then, and then was only so she would be prepared for the arrival of DD2 !

Just be polite and thank her for the offer you might want the help eventually.

franklymydear Fri 28-Aug-09 20:49:40

a 12 week old staying away? I think that's mad and have 4 of them.

I would say sleepovers are totally out for the first year, although personally don't do sleepovers until about age 4

franklymydear Fri 28-Aug-09 20:50:10

I haven't got 4 12 week olds you understand I've just had 4 kids

kmowell Fri 28-Aug-09 20:50:54

HI, YANBU, my first born stayed over with my mum when he was 16 weeks old cos we had a wedding, since then he has only ever stayed over with my mum. 12 weeks is too young if not necessary, not sure who would benefit out of this anyway, your MIL?? Not the point.
Stick to your guns...your baby, you know best!!

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Fri 28-Aug-09 20:52:03

aw, congratulations on your new baby.

Of course you are not being overprotective - I didn't leave my first with my own parents until she was about 7mo, with MIL until about 9mo (much further away).

12 weeks is far too young to spend a night away IMO.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Fri 28-Aug-09 20:56:11

meant to add - enjoy this time while you can't bear the thought of your DS being away from you at all

21mo DD is going to the GP's for the weekend. For two WHOLE NIGHT'S and I can't wait. I'll miss her like crazy, but looking forward to some sleep.

Don't alienate your MIL though - try and explain your feelings to her, and try to make her understand that you won't be ready to let your DS stay over for quite some time... but emphasise that when he's older that you would really really appreciate it. (trust me, you'll be ever so grateful when she offers! esp if you have a non-sleeper grin)

AnybodyHomeMcFly Fri 28-Aug-09 20:59:05

No yanbu, a 12 week-old is still a tiny baby who needs his mummy. My DS is 2.7 and has only ever had three nights away from us (3 separate nights) and the first wasn't until he was 7 months.

However, is he your MIL's first grandchild? Maybe she's being a bit jealous of your mum and brothers getting to see a lot of him and she feels she isn't. It's natural for her to want to see him so do make sure she gets included - he's her flesh and blood too!

shellmc Mon 31-Aug-09 09:10:47

Hello ladies, Thanks for all your reasurring comments.
I was just starting to feel a bit down about it me and my husband have spoke about this and we understand it is nice and absolutly normal for her to want baby to stay over but i have explained that i dont want him to untill he is older. She does get to see him alot and always has plenty of cuddles ect.
This is her second grandchild, i have a stepson (my hubbys ds1) he is 8 and he comes to stay with us 3 days a week, i love him to bits and he thinks the world ov his little brother :-).
My hubby has said that when my stepson was a baby my MIL used to have him stay over a lot from 6 weeks old!!!! My hubby knows this is really too young to stay away but his partner then well........ didnt mind and was happy to have him stay out altho hubby wasnt too sure.
I think that because my MIL had step ds1 stay from such a young age that i should be prepared to let my ds stay out, but as i said on my last post i DONT want him away from me!! She asked again last week it makes it awkward and i dont want her to think i dont trust her ect i just dont want my baby away from me!!!! Am I really being mean :-( x

singalongamumum Mon 31-Aug-09 11:02:48

Your MIL is understandable but that doesn't mean she's right. YOU ARE! Could your DH have a quiet but tactful word with her to tell her to leave off until he suggests it's a good time? At the end of the day, this isn't just about your feelings, it's about the wellbeing of your lovely and precious DS, so you should have absolute confidence to stand up for what you know is right. Also, however nice your MIL is, she needs to learn early on in your DS's life that you and your DH are in charge- it'll make everything easier later on! smile

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