paranoid or stupid

[wineismyfriend]

i can't stop thinking about something that happened in the park this morning.

I took DC and another child to the park this morning and there was a man there exercising his dog on the larger park next to the playground. DS1 and the other child were watching the dog and chating between theemselves about the dog, i was 10 or so meters away with DS2, the man told them the dog liked playing ball etc. Anyway i heard said man ask DS his name and comment that is was a great name and that was that (all this was over a period of about 2 mins I guess). The the kids then started playing and man took the dog off around the park returning 15 mins or so later where older kids drifted over again, 30 second coversation and man said off home had jobs to do etc. DS1 ran along fence with dog and man stopped at far end of fence and started talking again this time i was out of earshot as was with DS2 (20m)on climbing frame. After about a minute i called the wto children over to me and the man and dog went.

It all sounds horrible now i have written it down and i can't help thinking he might have been dodgy but at the time it didn't seem that that was definatley the case and i didn't want to cause a scene and overreact so i kept a close eye on them like i always do and npped conversations in the bud after a short time.

I feel a bit sick that he might have got a kick after talking to them and i feel i have put them at risk.

Honest options, does it sound odd to you?

[tiredOFTHEDMemma]

Did you ask your DS what he had said to him?

[foofi]

'It' doesn't sound but you do. Why would you think 'he might have got a kick after talking to them'? Doesn't sound like he approached them, and after all you were there with them.

Might be good for a DM thread I think

[wineismyfriend]

yes, i asked him what the man said to him and he said her asked his name (i did hear this). I'm not sure what to ask him without scaring him as he is only 4.11 so haven't done the whole stranger danger bit yet.

[BitOfFun]

Erm, a stranger spoke to your child- have I got that right?

[ZippysMum]

Sorry OP - I think you are being a bit paranoid.
Not wrong to keep a very close eye, but what do you expect - for all adults to 'blank' your DC's in case they are seen as 'dodgy'?
Sounds like the man with the dog was just being a friendly grown-up.

[Amapoleon]

i think you might be over reacting slightly. Did this man appear to be dodgy? Could he just have been having a chat. My ds[2] will talk to anyone and is quite insistent that they talk to him.

[tiredOFTHEDMemma]

Im probably a bit too liberal and relaxed. This wouldnt bother me at all, if anything I would be thinking that the man was just being friendly and making small talk ( the sad, empathic person n me would go as far as saying perhaps he is lonely- but thats just me.)

I do thnk that you are being a little paranoid.

[wineismyfriend]

well if the outcome of this is that i am odd, i'm glad about that.

Most helpful comments

[beanieb]

ok - I think you are over-reacting.

[tiredOFTHEDMemma]

wine- you did ask for 'honest opinions)

[kitesarefun]

You are being very paranoid

[wineismyfriend]

thanks to the majority for being kind and not making me feel too foolish and thankyou for putting my mind ar ease a bit. i don't wasnt to think everyone is a nutter but of course it worries me.

off to feel abit silly now.

[OrmIrian]

What? The man was talking to the children and that sounds dodgy? I think you may be a little paranoid.

[LemonTea]

Why the [hhm] about the comments if you wanted honest opinions?
I too think it sounds a bit of an over reaction. OK, none of us where there and you would have a better idea of the situation at the time; but someone spoke to your child.... I don't see what the issue is at all.

I love it when people are friendly to my children and I also like it when they are friendly back and will chat with people who they don't know. There is a huge difference to someone passing the time of day (when you are there) and someone being inappropriate with your child.
Would you have had the same reaction if a woman walking her dog had spoken to your child?

[Overmydeadbody]

Oh my gosh, you are being way too paranoid.

He was being friendly, not dodgy. Hehad a dog and your DS initiated conversation.

He probably has kids and even grandchildren if he was older and was just being a normal friendly person.

For Goodness Sake, we bang on about mainland Europe beign more Child Friendly, and then act all paranoid if an adult has a conversation with a child

It's crazy.

[oneopinionatedmother]

i often wonder about this cos I talk to other peoples kids in the park. They are nice, (usually) and welcome adult attention, and are interested in our dog and babies.

So I don't invite them to talk to us, but enjoy a good chinwag with the ones we know better, who come over to chat to us. I will start a conversation with a bored looking kid if they are playing near mine, it seems natural (especially as kids will stare at you anyway if curious)

so i think unless he went out of his way to talk to your kids, nothing to worry about, also, as nothing did happen, nothing to worry about. I understand your paranoia, but think that's what it is.

[BintOfBohemia]

erm...I really don't get it. Did I not read the OP right? A man made small talk with a couple of kids whilst walking his dog around the park - is that it?

[Overmydeadbody]

Yep Bohemia, that's it.

OP ever-reacted, but I think she knows that now!

[BitOfFun]

Ah, but Bint, there was a fifteen minute gap between conversations so we have to factor in a frenzy of wanking as a possibility, I think...

[Amapoleon]

Give her a break, I think she knows she over reacted.

[BintOfBohemia]

Oooops, that'll be innappropriate giggle of the day, right there...

I talk to other people's kids all the time, but generally they start it. I would hope people don't think am grooming their kids - or perhaps people dont' think that of women?

[Tee2072]

Yes, you were being paranoid. If you didn't want the answer, don't ask the question.

And, please, go read Free Range Kids and other sites like it and find out the real danger of that man at the park being 'after' your child, and not the pretend danger the media want you to believe.

[mummyflood]

I really wouldnt worry any more about this, OP. I am a dog owner, and to be honest would, and have had, similar encounters with young children when exercising my dog on a large field with play area adjacent. In fact the way you have described this, you could be talking about the field and park near us, and about any one of the many dog owners who frequent the field, myself included, only difference being I am female!! The way this comes across to me is this;

The children were showing an interest in/talking to, and about, his dog. The man was pleasant and chatty, without being overfamiliar, he could see you with them and was merely being sociable. Typical of most dog owners really, who mostly welcome attention from children in a positive way as it is a good experience for both child and dog.

Sounds like a completely normal, everyday occurance to me, and I am actually surprised that it sounds 'horrible now you have written it down', rather than putting it into perspective for you.