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So I finally had the birds and the bees talk with DD1 8 years old...

(46 Posts)
Slickbird Sun 23-Aug-09 21:47:26

And it was after a very hard day with our 2 year old and 5 month old, failing to find school coats etc and then she decides to ask me in the car on the way back when I'm totally exhausted. I had been holding off for a few years (especially amazing, as just had two kids in the last 2 years!) and I was actually quite pleased at how casual and scientific I made it all sound. I even managed to throw in periods.

She seemed remarkably unfazed by it all.

Thank God that's over. grin

Anyone else get asked at a random moment?

CatHerder Sun 23-Aug-09 21:51:53

Well ds1 (4) asked last week as I was negotiating a huge roundabout. What he actually asked was "how did ds2 get out of daddy's balls into your tummy?" which nearly caused a car crash.

I said it was a special hug. grin.

And I've bought "Mummy Laid an Egg" to pre-empt any more car-crash moments -dd(7) hasn't asked yet either.

Although she did ask just what it was that you aren't allowed to flush down toilets, while standing in the toilet queue at the campsite.

wilbur Sun 23-Aug-09 21:53:55

Oh, well done. I bought a book (recommended on MN, natch) about a year ago, ready for when ds1 (also 8) asked. He hasn't yet, and I'm currently debating whether I should casually bring it up. He knows about sperm, eggs, expanding wombs and so on, he just doesn't yet know how the sperm gets to the egg and how the baby gets out. Interestingly, dd (6) already asked about how babies get out and dh told her. She was sceptical and slightly disgusted grin.

dilemma456 Sun 23-Aug-09 21:56:48

Message withdrawn

Slickbird Sun 23-Aug-09 21:57:48

Lol. Well, that's the thing. She's a bit old now for 'That's mummy's special cotton wool'. What bothered me was that over my last two pregnancies, she kept going on at how great it was that Daddy had made the seed (she knew that bit) and that none of them would be there if it weren't for Daddy. Yeah but, you know, I mean, come on! hmm I kept trying to point out that actually was she blind to the hell that is pregnancy for me his involvement didn't actually take that much and really it was the mummy that did all the work. She still didn't seem to believe me.

She'll learn. She'll learn.

hannahsaunt Sun 23-Aug-09 22:02:58

At least on learning that the baby comes out of a hole in your nether regions (having established that it's definitely separate from the wee hole and the poo hole) she didn't ask, as ds2 did, :

Ds2 "Can you show me the hole that ds3 came out?"
Me "No"
Ds2 "Not right now mummy, when we've stopped driving would be fine..."

Needless to say he has still not seen said hole (and has asked since learning of db4s arrival to be).

Slickbird Sun 23-Aug-09 22:06:16

That's hillarious! I guess 'No' is all you can say, because what reason could you give?

"Er, no darling, it's just not the done thing..." grin

wilbur Sun 23-Aug-09 22:07:58


Thing is, ds1 was an emergency c-section so he has seen where he came out (and apologised for the scar, bless him) so perhaps he's not interested/curious. He does know he was the only one who came out that way though, but presumably, with typical first born prince attitude, he thinks that dd and ds2 were left on the doorstep by pedlars.

CatHerder Sun 23-Aug-09 22:15:24

Wilbur, my dc's have all seen the foot-long scar left by ds2's emergency exit, and so haven't bothered to ask how babies get out.

And, also as a result of ds2's exit, I don't have periods any more - so dd is never going to see a box of tampons in the bathroom and ask what they are.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just tell her, before someone at school tells her, I think.

Acinonyx Sun 23-Aug-09 22:39:25

DD at 3 asked about babies and I explained that they grow in mummies tummy from a very tiny egg. Then recently (turning 4) she asked 'How does the egg know when to turn into a baby?' shock I just don't want to get into the father's role just yet - I hoped we'd make it to at least 5 or 6.

I think I was 7-8 when I got The Talk. Seemed plenty early enough - kids know everything so much younger these days. I suppose she will hear it all when she starts school.

AbricotsSecs Sun 23-Aug-09 22:43:57

Message withdrawn

Slickbird Sun 23-Aug-09 22:57:22

Been away for relaxing bath - that's better!

Acinonyx That's interesting you say that, cos that's kinda how things went with DD1, she asked a few quetions til 4 and then stopped. I thought she'd ask more whilst being pg twice, but she didn't. And like you cat I didn't really want her hearing it at school - she'd probably get duff information anyway, like, 'oh the man sticks his willy in your ear and this stuff goes into your brain....etc etc'.

Funnily enough, the conversation actually started with, 'How old can you be to have a baby, like could grandma have one?' She was shocked to discover that even if grandma and grandad could have one, that baby would be her auntie! grin

Lavenderdrift Mon 24-Aug-09 06:46:17

I left tons of graphic pregancy books lying about when pg with dc no. 4 and also a child's 'where do babies come from?' book on dc's bedroom shelf. Certainly did the trick!

The NHS birth and pregnancy book is great as has picture of baby being born in colour. Also there are fab developing babies in womb photographic books which all my dc loved. You will find your dc will absorb what they need to satisfy their curiosity and if you have pets/see lambs being born on tv etc it all becomes natural which is how it should be.

Mine laughed when I told them a man's wobbly bits jiggling around with a lady's wobbly bits and I never fail to point out coupling cows/dogs etc.

bluesnowfalcon Mon 24-Aug-09 07:53:29

It comes up in school when they are in year 5 and 6 at the moment but have known girls to start their periods in year 4 and 5 so these girls need to know more earlier than the rest of there peers

Northumberlandlass Mon 24-Aug-09 07:59:45

I recently had a discussion with DS (nearly 6), he didn't actually want the birds and the bees just why I didn't have balls. I explained that I didn't need them and he did ! He the asked what I had instead....

Me: "I have a selection of holes, one for wee, one for poo and one for babies"
DS: "can I see them?"
Me: "No dear"


Portofino Mon 24-Aug-09 08:07:19

DD was asking about pigs gestation period yesterday for some undetermined reason. She has spent a week on a farm recently....

We've had a conversation about her being in my tummy and that the dr made a hole to get her out. I also explained that that is not the normal way out.

One day in the car, she announced that she wasn't going to have any children. When I asked why she said she didn't like the idea of being cut open, or a baby coming out of her binky, so she was going to leave it, thank you mummy. hmm

leisurely Mon 24-Aug-09 08:11:11

Last year when DD was seven. She got out of bed especially to tell me what JJ in her class had told her; namely, the man sticks his winkle up your bum and has a wee. I said she was wrong and gave her the basics and she didn't believe me. I got her a book off Amazon and she was engrossed for about an hour. We were driving and she kept throwing these random facts at me. I think it went pretty well, the only problem was when she asked if her dad would show her his srotchum.
I said I doubted if he would. She offered to let him look at her 'bit'. I gently tried to tell her about periods, but she didn't seem too interested so I left it, we can try again when she brings it up. Maybe i can leave the menstruation talk to JJ too. He is a fount of useless and completely crap info. He told girly that she was getting a puppy for her birthday having claimed that I'd told him - cue tears and snot when dog wasn't there. He also said neither tooth fairy nor father Xmas were real, they're all your parents. Bloody child, I'm glad in a way that he's left her school.

choufleur Mon 24-Aug-09 09:08:26

DS (3) told me he wanted me to have a baby in my tummy. quite a few friends are either pregnant or have recently had babies. then asked how they get in there and how they get out.

i said babies grow from a little bit of mummy, a tiny egg, cue conversation about chickens, and a little bit of daddy. he didn't seem bothered about how the two bits get together.

Boco Mon 24-Aug-09 09:16:02

On the way back from the zoo earlier this year with a 4 and 6 year old, I was a bit taken by surprise, and trying to concentrate on driving. It was all triggered by pregnant cows, and when I explained how they got there they said 'no silly mummy, cows don't have EGGS, or SEEDS' and refused to believe me. And dd1 said 'did you really do that to daddy? Did he mind?'

Monkeyandbooba Mon 24-Aug-09 09:17:04

I've been drip feeding DD (3.5) bits of information for a while. She asked me last week why i was bleeding - first period post DS (10mths) so she has never known me 'bleed'. I told her that ladies bodies get ready to have a baby every month and the womb grows a nice cushion for the baby to snuggle in to. If the lady doesn't grow a baby that month then the cushion washes away and that is what she sees coming out (cushion is a nice red velvet one of course grin ) She knows that babies come out of ladies 'ginas, although she doesn't believe me hmm and she asked what DSs 'tentacles' were for, I said to give a lady babies one day.

gallery Mon 24-Aug-09 10:33:15

I have been forced into having these conversations with my 4 year old for the last few months. We have gone through egg and sperm stuff. He asks me and I take it along so far, then he corners his dad and he takes it so far, then back to me again. The latest was his demand for us to have a tight cuddle (his father's contribution, i stuck to science) so we could have another baby. He also got in the bath with me the other nght as he is absorbed in trying to see my 'winki'. The pay off was that he has to stay in his own bed for the night if we are to have any more babies! It sounds like everyone is having these conversations at all ages so it is good to know I am not alone in trying to delicately provide facts without too much graphic detail. I am not sure how it will get distorted when he starts school. He recently told us that God it a T Rex as his pal told him so.....

Slickbird Mon 24-Aug-09 11:33:27

Leisurely That JJ needs a good slap telling off! wink

I never had "the talk" although my mum did tell me about periods after I thought what I saw in the toilet was a bloodied bone that hadn't flushed away properly (always had a very active imagination!). My brother, however, much older than me, gave me the "Where did I come from book" which I promptly took to school and showed everyone in class (P5). Then me and this little boy wondered if we could do it. shock Needless to say, we didn't!

PCPlumIsMyHomeboy Mon 24-Aug-09 12:37:47

I never had the talk. Where did my 2 babies come from?

Slickbird Mon 24-Aug-09 12:40:21

You bought them in a shop, no? grin

whizzylala Mon 24-Aug-09 13:06:07

I didn't think my DD 5 knew much until the other day. She asking for a baby sister so i explained you can't choose the sex and that if we had another baby it could be another brother. What would you do then I said? Reply "shove it back up your f*y"

Think I would have crashed if I had been driving for that one!

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