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23mth old DS is driving me round the twist

(8 Posts)
cupcake78 Fri 21-Aug-09 18:41:13

I've had a hell of a week with him from jumping on beds and hitting the pictures on his wall with a toy while I'm in the shower. To climbing on the sofa and standing on the arm shouting "ha ha". Infact climbing on anything. Refusing to eat but requesting biscuits constantly (resulting in tantrum when refused).

Pulling anything and everything off the table, kitchen bench in fact any surface. angry

He's driving me nutts! Is this all normal for his age and what do I do about it?

His cot has gone cos he's too big for it. He can open all doors, walk up and down stairs on his own. Reach everything possible (he's a very tall boy was 3ft at 18mths).

I can't help think its something I'm doing wrong.

domesticslattern Fri 21-Aug-09 20:08:57

Poor you, you must be knackered. Sounds completely and totally normal cupcake. He sounds like a lovely lively inquisitive fellow, and it doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong.

My DD is similar age and I keep an eye on her pretty much all the time, including keeping her in the bathroom when I am in the shower. She doesn't have free roam of the flat as she would destroy things. I also try to stay out of the house as much as possible, so she can run off energy eg. in parks.

With the biscuit tantrum you just have to completely refuse to give in- as soon as they sense weakness/ you changing your mind, then toddlers know that a tantrum= biscuit, so they'll do it everytime. Trust me I learned this one the hard way.

Hope this helps.

SycamoretreeIsFullOfResolve Fri 21-Aug-09 20:21:29

No, you're not doing anything wrong. This is what most little boys are like at this age (and many little girls too I suspect - not mine, natch wink)

My DS is 2 next week, and when he gets the mood on him, no amount of consequences seem to bother him. He just wants to play, to provoke, to break the rules.

I guess that's the stage of development they're at hmm

It's no fun is it - apart from when they are momentarily adorable with it <DS said Love oo mama for first time today grin.

2 weeks ago I was at the end of my tether when we were out at a Wetland centre and so I gave him his first ever time out. In public blush. He had bitten his sister, something he's just started doing, and I thought right, enough is enough kiddo.

Since I made that decision to start treating him less like a baby and more like a toddler it has got better. I realised how much better behaved DD was at this age and remembered all the consequences I had in place for her...

Because DS's language is about a year behind what DD's was, I have treated him differently. Now I realise how much he really understands I have found the strength to be a bit tougher.

I second Domesticslattern re the biscuit. I know it's hard because as a mother, your first instinct is to protect and to nuture (feed) and if they don't eat (particularly if you've cooked from scratch) it drives one crazy.

I think you're doing great. Just hold your nerve and if all else fails, I think time him out or else just walk away calmly from the tantrum and when he comes round, be all smiles and moving on to the next thing (playing with his cars or going to the park or whatever). That way he understands when he's tantruming he gets nothing in terms of attention from you, but the minute he stops he gets loving mummy, attentive mummy, if that makes sense?

Good luck smile

cupcake78 Sat 22-Aug-09 19:53:51

Thas so nice to know. Today has been, dh is at home so ds tends to be better behaved. He was naughty once to the extent he is when i'm on my own and dh was horrified. Tbh i'mpleased he was here to see it all because now he knows what ds can be like with me.

girlsyearapart Sat 22-Aug-09 20:02:18

please can I be your friend cupcake??
My previously lovely dd1 23mo has turned into a terrible two-er.
She whinges and screams and says I want every 5 seconds.
The main thing is sleeping. She has now been screaming for 45 minutes even though SHE asked to go to bed!
I'm totally and utterly disheartened by this recent behaviour and also have dd2 who is 11mo and has allergies and excema to deal with.
At the end of my tether but glad to know I'm not the only 1!

becky7000 Sat 22-Aug-09 20:42:26

I'm in the same boat with DD2 (23 months). I think I said on another thread that this week she tantrumed so badly I shut her in the kitchen for some peace and quiet and when she calmed down I put her to bed for a sleep. I was completely at the end of my tether. DH happened to ring at the same time to see how our day was going and I commented that I was about half an hour away from a nervous breakdown. It was all I could do not to join her in her screams and I could definately have done with a lie down!

girlsyearapart Sat 22-Aug-09 20:45:32

hi becky smile
yes i very nearly burst into tears this evening when dd1 began the bedtime scream fest.

bluejellybean Sat 22-Aug-09 20:53:00

My DS is also 22 months and not sharing, climbing, winging, pushing others then hugging them hmm
I totally can't understand that one??

Today however was a great day. Spent all day outside in a small farm park, he had loads of freedom, ran off all his energy and was in bed by 5:45! RESULT!

I am considering moving onto the farm as a survival plan!

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