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5 week old will not stop crying unless I hold him. Any ideas??

(98 Posts)
Cillapops Tue 18-Aug-09 11:50:31

Please help! My 5 week old son cries almost constantly unless I hold him in which case he stops almost immediately. He is not hungry or ill and has a fresh nappy. He won't settle in a bouncy chair or cot. The car works but obviously I can't do that all the time as I have things to do and a toddler to look after.

Anyone else had a similar problem and any ideas how to stop him crying?

IsItMeOr Tue 18-Aug-09 12:12:20

Oh golly, you must be feeling desperate about now (I can remember it!!).

First things first, this will pass. My 5 month old DS slept terribly from 6-13 weeks, but it did come to an end eventually, and he sleeps okay now. I think you will find that something similar happens with your little one.

Could it be colic? Have you tried infacol if you think this might be the case.

I also found that baby massage helped DS to settle - check for local classes, sometimes the children's centres run them for free.

The happiest baby on the block techniques also helped our DS - swaddling was great for getting him to sleep. White noise (we recorded the tumble drier and played it on a loop).

Try getting him to take a dummy (our ds wouldn't).

Get your family to help out. MIL was a life saver and stayed over a few times to take a shift. She loved all that cuddling time!

Get a carrier or sling that you and he both feel comfortable in. We love our babybjorn, but others swear by slings.

Oh heck, just spotted you have a toddler too! Hope one or more of these helps.

BertieBotts Tue 18-Aug-09 12:17:29

Sling - stretchy wrap far and away the best kind for tinies, you can strap him to you and get on with everything including looking after your toddler.

I miss the little fuzzy warm head kisses when DS was tiny and carried a lot! Remember up until 5 weeks ago, he was constantly held and warm and next to your heartbeat. Slings are a great way to help ease babies into the world and give them the closeness they want without compromising with older children etc.

Is it too late to say congratulations?

Cillapops Tue 18-Aug-09 12:18:07

Thanks for your ideas, I might try recording the tumble drier! I have a sling but he is a big boy and nearly 12lb so quite back-breaking to carry for long. I've tried a dummy and Infacol and both failed. I have managed to get him to sleep by letting him lie on me and I've now put him in his cot but not sure how long he'll stay like that!

No family nearby unfortunately.

However, he normally sleeps brilliantly at night so maybe I should just take the rough with the smooth.

mankyscotslass Tue 18-Aug-09 12:20:12

A sling saved my life with DS2. He was a high needs baby who was happy only when being cuddled or fed. I had a toddler and preschooler to look after too, and I thought I was goingg mad.

Get a sling

Call in every favour you can

Accept you will get nothing but the basics done.

Use the TV/DVD for the toddler.

Have a bag of toyd/ treats to appease toddler while you are feeding/cuddling lo.

Get out as much as you can (the clinging is easier to deal with when you are not cooped up).

Try a dummy ...never worked with mine hmm

Accept sometimes you may need to leave lo to cry for short times.

Things do get better, I survived!

SoupDragon Tue 18-Aug-09 12:20:23

Definitely a sling, not a BabyBjorn as they're not good for the baby but a wrap/pouch type. With a pouch you can lower the baby into a crib/rocker and then wriggle out of the sling without disturbing them.

Try swaddling too (with something light if it's hot weather)

Lulubee Tue 18-Aug-09 12:22:28

I second swaddling, was a life saver! We were also lucky to have one of those swinging chair things. Think at that age they just want a warm heartbeat to snuggle up to though. Bite the bullet- resign yourself to spending a lot of time on the sofa. Housework can wait

BertieBotts Tue 18-Aug-09 12:26:29

What sling have you got? I still carry my 10 month old for long periods of time - in the right sling - I couldn't use certain types now! Different ones spread the weight in different ways. If you like using the sling perhaps we can recommend one which is more comfortable.

phdlife Tue 18-Aug-09 12:27:33

Cillapops my ds was the same - and v large so I do feel your pain. (Luckily he was #1 so I gave up and did nothing for 3 months except sit and hold him - I remember clearly the day he went in his bouncy chair for 17 minutes - he was 14 weeks!)

Anyway I wanted to say a good wrap-sling was by far the best for managing him - though they do take time to learn, it distributes the weight so brilliantly you don't get any muscle aches anywhere. Though you do still end up tired.

I know it's no help really but, hope it does help a little.

IsItMeOr Tue 18-Aug-09 12:30:01

Is BabyBjorn really bad for baby?! My DS loves his, and we use it all the time, mind at 5
months he's only 6.8kg so not much bigger than your 5 week old.

phdlife Tue 18-Aug-09 12:43:03

as I understand it, the baby kind of 'hangs' in a bjorn, a bit as though it was being held up by straddling a pole. (the rest of the Bjorn just stops the baby sliding left or right, it doesn't take any weight.) So all the baby's weight is on its pelvis which isn't good for them, especially if they are not yet sitting.

Other kinds of slings, such as the wrap, hold the baby tightly so its weight is more evenly distributed across a wider base.

does that make sense?

EllieG Tue 18-Aug-09 12:46:18

I went with it and used a ring sling for ages. She grew out of it reletively quickly and became pretty independent and chilled, but when they are so tiny they do need to be held a lot. My ring ling was fantastic, she was so secure and comfy and hardly cried at all.

Good luck!

juuule Tue 18-Aug-09 12:46:55

Swaddle. And swaddle tightly. Once wrapped up, feed, sooth to sleep, then gently lie in moses basket/pushchair/cot. I used to lie them on their side slightly leaning back onto a support(rolled up cot sheet or something similar). They would sleep for a while like that at 5w.

juuule Tue 18-Aug-09 12:48:04

Otherwise just hold him if he's not tired until he seems tired.

BadgersArse Tue 18-Aug-09 12:52:00

hes a baby!! poor thing
give him a cuddle
its a way to sit down and put oyur feet up

needahand Tue 18-Aug-09 13:02:29

As no one has suggested this yet that I can see. Perhaps go and see a cranial osteopath. It worked wonders on DD (that and ....a sling...wrap sling such as kari me much more comfy than baby bjorn...I have had big babies too

roseability Tue 18-Aug-09 13:03:29

cillapops - I feel for you! I have an 8 week DD strapped to me as I type and a toddler who has just gone to his granny's for the night because I can't cope with both of them all of the time! You are not alone and I am sorry you don't have family nearby to help.

I have a KariMe sling and it has been brilliant. She sleeps for hours in it and I still have hands free. I do try to put her down for naps in her pram (just so my toddler can get time with me without her strapped to me, he does get jealous) but it is hit and miss if she will sleep for long that way.

Could you try putting your DS in a sling and putting a favourite TV programme on for your toddler for an hour. Just so you get a bit of a rest for an hour?

Swaddling works for my DD and white noise too. She will sleep for an hour in front of the washing machine.

It is so tough and although over all I am loving having two, I have had some desperate days. My DD is quite chilled but my DS cried and cried. You just have to keep telling yourself it will get easier

juuule Tue 18-Aug-09 13:06:12

How about wrapping him up, putting in the pram and taking for a walk to see if he nods off. Then when you get back, don't disturb and leave to sleep for a while.

roseability Tue 18-Aug-09 13:06:41

badgersarse - I think the OP knows he is a baby! It is not always as simple as you make it sound. Try sitting down and putting your feet up when your toddler needs attention hmm

roseability Tue 18-Aug-09 13:08:50

juuule - I did this just this morning with my DD (with a reluctant toddler in tow!). It worked to an extent but some babies have an awful knack of waking up as soon as you get to your front door! Good idea though and it gets you out in the fresh air. very important I feel and I don't do it enough!

juuule Tue 18-Aug-09 13:09:20

Has the op got a toddler?

And I did use cuddling/nursing the baby as an opportunity to sit down and put my feet up even when I had toddlers too.

juuule Tue 18-Aug-09 13:11:39

Rose sometimes they do wake as soon as you get back...but sometimes they don't. If you do it often enough then you get to judge the distance you need to walk to get them off to sleep without it eating into their sleep time. Or at least that's what I found.

Not everything works all the time but it's good to have a few things to try in your arsenal (so to speak).

dinkystinky Tue 18-Aug-09 13:14:22

OP - was it a dificult delivery? If so, if baby is crying lots it may be worth trying to go see a cranial osteopath - helped alot with DS1 who had a difficult birth and DS2 who had bad trapped wind/colic issues. Other things I'd suggest are swaddling, sling, white noise (as all the others have), getting out into the fresh air twice a day with the baby (go to your local park and walk around - the fresh air will hopefully knock them out, the sun will give you a mood boost and cries never sound as loud when you have a lot of space around you and background noise) and maybe just trying lying down on the bed with the baby, skin to skin, and snuggling. Your little one will start to feel alot more secure soon and will hopefully stop crying. It makes sense that they want to be close to you and all snuggled up with you after being inside you so long - its a big scary world out here for little babies - but they do all eventually get over it.

dinkystinky Tue 18-Aug-09 13:15:26

Oh yes - the skin to skin lying down should be while your toddler is napping (I have a toddler too and found snuggling with DS2 while DS1 was napping was a godsend).

ActivityApple Tue 18-Aug-09 13:19:24

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