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Would you leave a sensible 11/12-year-old at home alone alone all day?

(20 Posts)
castille Tue 18-Aug-09 08:39:27

I have a lot of work at the end of this week and need to be in the office.

MIL has offered to take the DC for 3 days so I can get on with it but DD1 doesn't want to go, she says she'll be bored (possible) and she'd rather stay at home.

She'd be alone Thurs am and Friday all day. Says she doesn't mind. DH thinks NO. I think she'd be ok (though I'd rather she went to PIL's).

Would you?

KeithTalent Tue 18-Aug-09 08:41:43

god yes

CybilLiberty Tue 18-Aug-09 08:42:56

I would leave her, BUT ring and check regularly, say no answering the door or phone (you can give 2 rings first to let her know it's you)

She will probably just lie on the sofa all day watching T4, if she's anything like my dd.

stuffitlllama Tue 18-Aug-09 08:43:09

yes

ZZZenAgain Tue 18-Aug-09 08:54:20

why don't you try Thursday morning and if it doesn't seem to have worked out, send her to MIL for Friday?

castille Tue 18-Aug-09 08:59:26

Can't do that ZZZ, it's too far.

Don't want to force her to go, but PILs are taking them to their place on the coast, and the weather is lovely. Personally I think she's bonkers.

Bang go our 4 child-free evenings

<sniff>

flyingbat Tue 18-Aug-09 09:01:28

Agree with ZZZenAgain. See how it goes on Thursday.

I think your dd is letting you know she is ready to spend time on her own responsibly by asking for this. My just 11 year old dd is no way near this stage yet, she would hate it, really really hate it, and wouldn't dream of asking to stay at home on her own.

I'd also set out a list of do's/don'ts - whether to answer the door, telephone (we do exactly what CybilLiberty suggests with regards to the phone!), is she allowed to pop out to the shops, have a friend round, cook etc.

Let us know how it goes!

castille Tue 18-Aug-09 09:07:49

Yes she's very grown up for her age, def not a little girl any more.

She wants, and gets, plenty of freedom, but she has been known to push the boundaries, do what she thinks she can get away with rather than what she knows is allowed.

So Rules will need spelling out.

MrsWeasley Tue 18-Aug-09 09:12:32

my DD gets scared when she hears noises or the door bell goes off. When she is on her own she has all the lights on and tv and radios on in everyroom and spends her day going from the PC to raid the fridge and has been know to sit on the phone all day too, so checking she is ok was impossible . She is older at 14 but my 12yo DS is sensible and stays at home no problem.

Polgara2 Tue 18-Aug-09 09:20:42

Well I think a whole day is a long time for a 12 year old to be alone for personally. What about the unexpected happending, how would she handle them? DD1 who is 12 wouldn't want to be alone for that long. I know your dd is saying she does but to be honest if you want her to go to your PIL then that is what you should do - you are, after all, the parent! Just my opinion, I know we all do things differently.

tryingtocookacurry Tue 18-Aug-09 09:24:29

my 12 year old ds stays at home sometimes when I work or if he doesn't want to come somewhere we are going!
He does exactly what CybilLiberty said and lies on the sofa all day thinking it's heaven to be in total control of the remote!
I think those are his favourite days!

castille Tue 18-Aug-09 15:05:56

Update - she has just been invited to a friend's for Thursday night and Friday, so she will only be alone for 2 half days.

She knows the emergency routine. We have friends and neighbours nearby she can go to in a dire emergency. She knows my mobile number.

In theory she will be doing her homework for schoolhmm

She is positively relishing the thought of being at home alone

MrsWeasley Tue 18-Aug-09 15:31:06

Well I think I would let her try it, my DD hated it the first time she stayed in alone, so much so her did loads of housework (PC wasn't working!) grin

abouteve Tue 18-Aug-09 15:33:43

Yes, as I did leave DD at this age.

Tortington Tue 18-Aug-09 15:34:57

yip

clumsymum Tue 18-Aug-09 15:37:45

Oh blimey yes. I was left alone at her age, and esp as it's now only 1/2 days.

I can understand she's looking forward to it

PuppyMonkey Tue 18-Aug-09 15:38:40

I've been leaving my 12 year old alone on occasion during the hols. She sits on the computer all day, not moving, not eating and forgetting to get dressed. She's fine in other words. grin

castille Tue 18-Aug-09 16:32:09

grinPuppy, that sounds about right

I will have to set up the computer with time limits on her account as she has agreed to do the homework she is doing her best to leave to the last minute

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 18-Aug-09 16:40:15

Yes, no problem, dd at 12 was left at home for full days when school had inset days and the like.

She loved it.

Tee2072 Tue 18-Aug-09 16:41:08

yes.

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