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Why do I feel like this ???

(3 Posts)
DoIreallywantanotherbaby Sun 16-Aug-09 13:36:58

Ok, I have 2 dds that I love very much, they are 5 and 2. DH and I we have agreed on only 2 children and I completely agree with it...but I cant help feeling sad..my head agree with it but my heart doesnt so I'm always thinking about it ! It doesnt have to be like this, I dont have to take a definite decision (I'm only 30)..I'm from afamily of 3, the middle child, and we have hard time, financially, my dad didnt really want to have quality time with us and was quite abusive at time, he just wanted to spend all his free time with my mum whom he adores..And as a middle child, I heard a lot of, sorry you'll have to have to wait for your driving licence, we need to buy that for your brother...No we cant help you, your brother is still living at home you know...

I'm so scared of reproducing this with my dd2 ? I like the fact that I have pfb and a last one but cant help feeling jealous when I hear about friends having their number 3. How do they know everything is going to be ok ??

Also, I have had an abortion last year due to 2 contraception failure, I couldnt carry on with this pregnancy as dd2 would have been 16 months old when the baby was due, financially we couldnt cope either...

Why do I do such a big deal about it ?? Sorry if its the wrong topic, I just want to talk about it, and to hear your views on this. Thank you.

thereisalight Sun 16-Aug-09 14:38:33

How has the abortion affected you? You might be subconciously wanting to 'replace' that pregnancy? I had an abortion (completely unplanned pregnancy) and it affected me so badly that all I could think about was getting pregnant again..I was obsessed! 3 months later I was pg with DS and now i'm a mum of 2, it's only now that I feel I've 'put it right' IYSWIM?

DoIreallywantanotherbaby Sun 16-Aug-09 18:45:38

It did affect me badly, but I know we would have never been able to cope..it felt horrendous being in that position...I'm obsessed about taking a decision even if I dont have to, just yet..its in my head all the time. Thank for your answer.

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