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DD has asked us to pick her up, should we?

(21 Posts)
PavlovtheForgetfulCat Sat 15-Aug-09 18:56:29

She is 3.1, she is staying over at a friend's house, a friend who is so close she is an aunt really to her. This friend loves having her over, although she has no children, DD has a toy box, and a room which is 'her special bedroom' when she stays, friend makes it all lovely and puts her favourite bears in there, she has a tea set all laid out every time etc and she gets thoroughly spoilt rotton there and loves it. It is a sleepover for her and something she looks forward to and goes there about once a month, once every other month that kind of thing, and it is always presented as a special treat for her rather than her being babysat.

Aaaaaaaanyway. friend has been a gem and is looking after her to give DH and I some much needed space. We have no family close by and things have been a bit tense really (not relationship, other stuff) and DH and I have had NO space whatsoever.

We dropped her off at just before midday, she ran off, not caring, we stopped for a cuppa and said goodbye no problems with her at all. She was excited, ran to her 'bedroom' and barely blinked when we left.

Just spoken to her this evening to say goodnight and she said she had 'argued' with friend (which means she got told off about something!). She was not upset, just said it when I asked what she had done today. She also played computer, had a tea party etc so nothing that stuck in her mind too much.

Then she asked when we were going to pick her up, and I said tomorrow and she said 'not now mama? you not picking me up now? and I said, not now, because you are having a sleepover baby and if I get you you can't sleep in your special room' and she said 'of course!!!' and laughed. And then said she misses me, asked for daddy and said 'can you pick me up soon?' to him too. DH said the same, we would get her in the morning and she was fine and happy.

Friend is happy with her, said argument was not an argument (of course its a 3 year olds mind) and DD is not upset, but quite keen to ask when we are getting her?

My instinct is to go and get her, seeing as we don't need her looked after, as in we are here at home and not drinking alcohol, just chilling out tonight, we won't have to cancel going out or anything, but we will miss us time, and a nice long lie in tomorrow.

Am I being all PFB? Should I leave her or get her?

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Sat 15-Aug-09 18:57:39

god that was long! why can't I do short posts? blush

bigchris Sat 15-Aug-09 18:58:13

aw I would leave her if your lovely friend says she's okay

mears Sat 15-Aug-09 18:58:22

No - leave her - she sounds absolutely fine. Enjoy some time with DH.

JustcallmeDog Sat 15-Aug-09 18:59:08

Message withdrawn

Greensleeves Sat 15-Aug-09 18:59:19

Leave her, I think. The friend will contact you if DD becomes upset, won't she?

it sounds as though you really need that bit of space...

AnnieLobeseder Sat 15-Aug-09 19:00:22

I'd leave it for now, but ask your friend to call you to pick her up if she does get upset later on. 3yo's forget about stuff so quickly! But if not, it would be nasty to leave her there thinking you don't want to collect her when she's upset.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours Sat 15-Aug-09 19:00:29

If she spoke to DH and she was fine and happy, then don't. As you aren't drinking, you can always give your friend a ring to check she is OK later (maybe after bedtime?) and if your DD still wants to come home, then go and get her.

I'm sure she is fine and kids do like to say things to tug on our guilt emotions.

Cammelia Sat 15-Aug-09 19:02:29

I would get her - staying away for this many hours is a lot for a 3 year old and if she wants her mummy and daddy, its a no-brainer for me

mears Sat 15-Aug-09 19:06:41

She was fine and happy when you said you would get her in the morning. Can't see why you need to go and get her TBH. Check with friend later to see that she is OK.

FiveGoMadInDorset Sat 15-Aug-09 19:07:38

Leave her, as you are not drinking if she is still wanting to come home much later then go and pick her up but she sounds quite relaxed.

mrsjammi Sat 15-Aug-09 19:08:10

Message withdrawn

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Sat 15-Aug-09 19:09:46

I would leave her for now. She seems quite happy from what you've said - although of course your her parents and can judge her much better than a faceless person off t'internet! If your lovely friend says she's ok, then she's ok. And aren't you lucky to have such a marvellous friend?! envygrin

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Sat 15-Aug-09 19:21:40

urbandryad yes we are lucky. They adore each other, and her DH too. She has them wrapped around her little finger ever since she was a newborn! Apparantly, from what DH said, she has been argumentative today, and friend said that to her so she has picked up the notion. Nothing specific, just general 3yo backchat! And DD did say it quite matter of fact 'what have you been doing today?' 'xx and I arguing, I played tea parties'.

She certainly did not sound upset, but I absolutely agree with the fact she can pull on the heart strings, and she said it in that toddler way that was not sad, but made me feel a bit guilty blush.

Friend knows we will get her at any time we need to and she would not leave her to stay upset if she could not settle her, but she would try to settle her first.

I will give her until 9pm as she takes a while to settle when at some-one elses, and if not settled by then, we will get her. But if not, we will chill out a bit more (DH will chill out, I will be a little anxious but nothing that can't be put out of reach for a moment!)

differentID Sat 15-Aug-09 19:27:41

I think she probably wanted reassurance that you would be picking her up. relax and enjoy yourselves, you need

senua Sat 15-Aug-09 19:31:28

Ask any teacher, Brown Owl etc and they will tell you that kids are always fine on sleepovers and not homesick until the parents phone.

She will be OK. In future, don't phone.

piscesmoon Sat 15-Aug-09 19:31:29

Leave her-she wasn't crying and upset. Have a quiet word with friend and say to let you know if she gets upset, because you will collect her.She sounds fine-just wants reassurance-the break will do you all good.

piscesmoon Sat 15-Aug-09 19:32:36

I agree-phoning is a big mistake!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Sun 16-Aug-09 21:07:58

I phoned at 9pm, she went to sleep no problems at 7pm! shock bloody hell we never get her to sleep that early!

She was fine I was a worrying mother for no reason! DH said so too! She slept 7pm-7am, never does that for us!!!

and had a lot of fun, when we went to get her she was eating a lolly pop, and was happy to see us, but clearly had a great time!!! She was not clingy or sad or crying. We stayed for lunch, then went for a walk with friend and some other friends and she got upset that our friend had to go home afterwards!!!!

piscesmoon Sun 16-Aug-09 21:18:05

Great! Don't make the mistake of phoning next time-assume that no news is good news!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Sun 16-Aug-09 22:30:14

pisces they phoned us first time last night, for her to say goodnight, we always speak to say goodnight when she stays away and I think she had asked.

But next time I might suggest not to call. Maybe!

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