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What do you do when a child is going completely bonkers, need help please(9 Posts)
Ds1 (6) has had these moments over the past few years, where he will become completely overtired, red in the face, racing around being completely stupid and quite dangerous, wrecking the house a little (not deliberately, just incidentally) and it is often accompanied by laughter but he's beyond reason.
If I ask him to stop he won't, he just ignores me completely - even if his little bro is in some danger, getting injured/ pushed over etc (often laughing as well until he gets hurt)
and if I really try and hold him to calm him down, he fights me physically, tries to escape, all the time laugh-crying and very red and kind of crazy.
I don't know what to do when this happens. It just happened and i ended up sitting on him trying to talk calmly, threatening removal of pocket money, all to no avail. Eventually I persuaded him that he needed to do his teeth, and let him up, he went and got toothbrush and ran out again.
I gave up.
I would stick them both in the bath but afraid he would carry on and someone would get hurt again.
What is protocol please? He didn't do this stuff during term. Is he understimulated? Am I such a bad parent he just can't cope away from school? I don't play with him much and probably ought to more, but do take them out every day.
has he got a trampoline (or failing that a bed he can bounce on)? possibly he needs more physical activity in the day?
Do you have a safe garden you can "put" him in for the duration?
can you throw him in his bedroom and remove toys till he calms down - or falls asleep? (you do need to stay outside the door however)
Do you notice any warning signals before this happens? signs of tiredness like rubbing eyes..... cos then would be the time to intervene and go and do something to wind down with him. just a thought
learn to spot the warning signs and try to make sure he doesn't get to that point.
If that fails, then best to remove him to an empty space, somewhere he can't hurt himself or anyone else. then let him get on with it!
Does he have asd? Is he behaving like this because his routine is disrupted? If so, then some structure? A visual timetable? Making sure he knows how the day will go. What will happen next. Remove the uncertainty.
Finally - retraining him. If you have to, you have to. If for example, he is hurting himself or someone else.
My restraint technique is (well was! I haven't had to do it for years!) as follows.
Get him to the floor. Get behind him. Wrap your legs around his legs, wrap your arms around his arms pinning them to his sides, tuck your head into his back (forget this at your peril! I did once and ds1 broke my nose!!!), You can try to angle yourself so he's off the ground a bit, a lot or on the ground, see what works.
Thankyou all, had to go and clear up after ds2 got stranded in playhouse, at end of garden, having gone out with no nappy and done a big poo
Ok. Well first of all LOL at KM, we actually have a cellar, it's brilliant (kidding)
The garden is where he wanted to go and create further mayhem, ie throwing things onto kitchen roof, antagonising ds2 etc etc (someone was going to get hurt)
but it is big and he does have the run of it all day.
Not really warning signs...he's been knackered today though, he was in bed last night not sure what time but unable to actually sleep till gone 10 - maybe too hot? I don't know, he put on his CD player in the end which he likes, calming songs etc. and went off to sleep.
I think that might be the key plus as you say, enough physical exercise during the day. We went for a drive today and a bit of shopping but not enough actual play, as he was already pretty stroppy and I thought it would make him worse, actually that is what happens having tried it in the past. so bedtime needs to be enforced somehow.
Last year I tried shutting him in his room but tbh it wasn't working - he kicks the door, climbs out the window, anything to resist - it is like a huge testosterone surge, it takes him out of his usual reasonable self into this kind of 'zone' iygwim. So gave up on that as his shouting 'Mummy stop, stop, let me out, don't lock the door' was a trifle embarrassing
It has rarely happened since then. I thought we were over it.
Thanks for all the ideas.
After I gave up earlier he actually did stop - he went out but he seemed to find his own calmness, somehow. He resolved it.
I was so relieved.
Hecate I am so with you on the nose front That almost happened once or twice in the past...
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