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Please any tips how to deal with ds behavour 16mo, constantly banging toys,screaming, biting, kicking, climbing & into everything that puts himself in danger...

(5 Posts)
greyriver Sun 02-Aug-09 18:29:02

He is very active and only really happy outdoors, no problem we can be outside, but dd (4.6) prefers to be inside sometimes and whilst doing daily chores sometimes he HAS to be inside!!

His behaviour is very trying and tiring as well he is constantly screaming when he cant reach things (like cups or shiny things like the toaster etc on our worktop) he does not play with any toys, and is uninterested in anything on tv (yes thats a good thing re tv but 5 mins of distraction would be great!)

Our days are pretty much with him screaming or banging toys, or doors all day. In the presence of other children, he bites, kicks them and tries to hit them constantly, which results in me having to follow him like a minder, leaving poor dd sidelined.

He climbs everything and his new trick is climbing up the back of the toilet into the sink, or even climbing into the bath. he constantly climbs the sofas and stands on them trying to reach to climb on the window cill the list goes on... Our house is totally baby proof but he finds things I cant change and finds a way to climb seemingly everything!

He was crawling at 6 mo and walking at 9mo. He's very bright and I think frustration is the cause of most of his screaming and undesirable behaviour towards other children.

I would love to hear from anyone who has been through this with any tips with what to do and how to handle this beaviour, I am finding it very very hard, I have a constant head ache and feel very stressed by it all.

he sleeps fine (11 hours at night, 2 hours in the morning and and hour in the afternoon) he eats a very good varied diet also.

tia

greyriver Sun 02-Aug-09 18:29:29

that turned into an essay blush sorry

specialmagiclady Sun 02-Aug-09 18:41:33

Does he play with "real" things? I gave my boys lots of tupperware, old ice cream tubs etc to play with, sieves etc. That would keep them happy for a bit.

My DS2 is a big biter and I'll let you know if I ever find a solution (much worse when teething)

Is your garden outside your kitchen door. Could you chuck him out there and keep an eye on him on his own?

When it comes to other not okay behaviour I had to remember when DS2 that saying "no" means nothing to them at this age. You have to remove them from the thing at hand and find something else to distract them.

If he likes making a noise, why not get him something like this drum which sounds nice at least.

greyriver Sun 02-Aug-09 19:22:04

thanks smlady, yes tupperware things do work for a few mins, anything with a drumstick he smashes on walls doors and windows shock but for supervised play he does like banging for a few mins as well!

He is teething badly at the moment, so I was wondering if this behaviour may calm down a bit afterwards. Problem is its been a month coming though (last bottom two) so far, how much longer can they take.

Yep garden is near kitchen window so i try and let him go out as much as poss when I am washing up etc, he just stands and screams until I join him though normally...

hoping this phrase will soon pass....

HuffySpice Sun 02-Aug-09 19:40:04

It can be tough at this age. I have one too

Do you do baby signing with him? I find it brilliant with my ds because a lot of his frustration is when he can't communicate.

Can you set him tasks? We play a lot of games that involve sending ds to get something ("Go and get Mummy a shoe") or to put something somewhere ("Please put this by the washing machine for me"). Lots of praise, and he feels very pleased with himself for being so clever! Plus it helps to tire him out.

We also play messenger with him, so I'll ask him to take something to his dad or his big sister. Then they send him back to me with something else. It doesn't matter what, it just keeps him amused with a few seconds in between interractions for dd and I to get on with whatever she's doing.

If I need a few minutes with him occupied I make a quick 'explore box' which is just an old ice-cream tub I keep handy that I chuck in whatever is to hand at that moment (my keys, a page of a magazine, a teaspoon, one of his slippers etc) and give to him to investigate.

When I go in the shower I put him in his cot with a pile of board books. Would your ds go for that?

As for the biting and hitting, I think that specialmagiclady is right and that 'no' is not a concept he can really understand yet. You just have to police him constantly and remind yourself that this phase will pass. When my dd went through a rather violent phase at a similar age, I found giving her a positive instruction was a lot more effective than a negative one, so "Be gentle with that little girl, do nice waving and say hello" and lots of praise, worked, whereas "don't hit the little girl" didn't.

Dd was also a climber. Make things as safe as you can, and focus on teaching them the safe way to get down, rather than stopping them getting up there in the first place. We were also happy to let dd play "Geronimo!" on the sofa where she was less likely to hurt herself, and that seemed to satisfy some of her climbing urges.

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