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I am the worst mum in the world - just sent ds2-2y 4mo to bed hungry

(89 Posts)
BlueSmarties Sat 01-Aug-09 19:21:19

I'm not fussy about food, never try to force feed or anything like that. we just have one rule in this house. If you don't eat your dinner there isn't anything else.

So ds1 [4] sat in front of his dinner sulking for approx 10 mins then tucked in heartily and had his after dinner treat.

ds2 [2] not interested even with gentle persuasion. So he went up for his bath,no fuss or anything. Came downstairs and said he was hungry but still wouldn't eat his dinner. I relented and gave him a banana but once he started asking for biscuits it was time for bed.

I feel like such a b1tch. he's never seen it all the way through to bed time before. Last time he did this was at my mum's and he sat and watched everyone eat an ice cream but he didn't get one coz not eating dinner - went up for his bath then came down and ate his v.cold roast dinner - then had an ice cream. Thought he'd learnt his lesson then.

Anyone else out there that mean. Only want to hear from those that are - not anyone looking to bash me and make me feel worse than i do already.

LuluMaman Sat 01-Aug-09 19:24:44

he is 2.4 and he won;t have 'learnt his lesson'

food should not be punishemnent/reward

of course he'd want an ice cream if everyone else eating one

maybe he was hungry after his bath, but genuinely not hungry before

if you feel bad about it and feel mean, why do it?

i agree that not giving biscuits is fine, but most children of a young age need supper, whether they eat dinner or not

banana and a glass of milk or some toast is accpetable for supper

nickytwotimes Sat 01-Aug-09 19:25:26

Ach, give yourself a break missus.
He will be fine.
You carried out the action you told him about (with the exception of the banana, but I understand!). You have done him NO HARM WHATSOEVER.

Bet he eats his dinner tomorrow. grin

FlamongoBongo Sat 01-Aug-09 19:26:59

He's 2. He'll find it difficult to get to sleep with an empty tummy and difficult to sleep in the night. You're not the worst mum in the world, but definitely not the best if you're using food as a punishment.

Children are the best people to know when their body needs food - how would you like it if someone said 'eat now or you don't eat at all, even if you're not hungry'?

nickytwotimes Sat 01-Aug-09 19:27:04

Dear God, Lulu, I think this is the first time I have ever disagreed with you! shock grin
<falls over>

geordieminx Sat 01-Aug-09 19:27:35

My son is 2 years 3 months, and although very bright I dont think he is old enough to get this yet. And would probably wake up at 3am hungry, at which point I would have to get up, go down stairs and get him a bottle of milk.

I do agree with the principle though, and you are right that if you dont eat your tea there should be nothing else, but 2 is still very little.

Having said that you gave him a banana so its not like he's had nothing. Ds eats like a sparrow though so I tend to give in and give him any food rather than nothing ((((soft mother emoticon)))))

nickytwotimes Sat 01-Aug-09 19:28:37

I'll get my coat...

PrincessToadstool Sat 01-Aug-09 19:29:30

I'm with lulu on this, I do feel so fed up when I have bought and prepared good, fresh food for DS, only for him to turn his nose up at it - but who am I to dictate how he feels about food?

I'm not bashing you but a bit of toast won't hurt will it? Better than making yourself feel bad and him being hungry?

LuluMaman Sat 01-Aug-09 19:29:50

i;ll forgive you , nicky..just this once, mind!


allaboutme Sat 01-Aug-09 19:30:22

god thats FINE
if he was hungry he would have eaten his dinner!
my ds (3) fell asleep before his dinner so has gone to bed with nothing
some days they are more hungry than others, he wont starve

nickytwotimes Sat 01-Aug-09 19:30:37


cheekster Sat 01-Aug-09 19:33:35

I personally wouldnt be able to do this, but I wish I was strong enough to.

What you have done is perfectly fine IMO - Im sure that you will reap rewards for doing so. I hate fussy eaters!

Like others have said - he wont starve!

But Im such a soppy, soft mummy - totally the opposite of what I thought I would be.

bronze Sat 01-Aug-09 19:36:05

He had a banana, what else could you do? If you gave him biscuits then hes just got what he wants and will do it again.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 01-Aug-09 19:36:41

My son was 2yr 4 months when his sister was born and imo it is too young to expect them to go without. Fine, don't make him another meal but after a period of time I think some milk and toast would be to everyones benefit.

But you are not the worst mum in the world, mine is.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad Sat 01-Aug-09 19:37:50

I agree with Lulu, I'd make him some toast so he's not waking up crying at 2 am. There are alot worse things to worry about.

K999 Sat 01-Aug-09 19:39:42

I think 2 is too young to get that concept. I couldnt care less whether my dds ate their dinner. If they are hungry they will eat. Dd2 is 2 also and most times eats pretty well. If she doesnt eat her dinner then thats fine and if she asks for something later then thats not a problem either. Making any kind of deal about food imo is pointless. smile

And also at this age I think they do still have days when they are hungrier than others. Dd2 has eaten like a little monster today. I have been in the kitchen all day (apart from when on here grin) and she is again asking for more strawberries!!

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Sat 01-Aug-09 19:42:41

he isn't hungry he had a banana
I think supper after your bath or just before bed is fine whether tea is eaten or not

craxy to start punishing wiht food

and he wont have 'learnt his lesson'

sheesh I cant stand all this

MsSparkle Sat 01-Aug-09 19:44:42

I don't think you did anything wrong. If he was that hungry he would have eaten his dinner. Of coarse, no one wants their child to go to bed hungry BUT i feel that by giving him toast would have sent him the message that it's ok to refuse his dinner that you have made for him because he will get toast instead.

You did the right thing imo.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 01-Aug-09 19:46:12

I don't buy this if he was hungry he would have eaten. He might have liked what was offered, couldn't manage it, just didn't want it. How many of you eat food you don't like/want?

juuule Sat 01-Aug-09 20:01:52

I agree with Lulu.

And I can't believe that you left a 2yo out when everyone was having ice-cream and then made him eat a cold roast dinner before he could have one.

I'd have given milk and biscuits before bed (as well as the banana).

Out of interest what was his dinner? And how appetising would it have been after his bath?

"I'm not fussy about food, never try to force feed or anything like that. "

Not sure that statement is completely true.

nannyL Sat 01-Aug-09 20:10:29

My charges have gone to bed hungry a few times (a few rare times far between 3 year old once ever, 6 year old about 2 or 3 times ever)

if they dont eat their meal their is nothing else til next meal. (except water) period. Im sure this is why they are great un-fussy children who eat absolutely anything put in front of them wink

K999 Sat 01-Aug-09 20:12:56

Or perhaps they just dont want to starve??? My kids arent fussy eaters either and I have never sent them to bed hungry....

dizzymare Sat 01-Aug-09 20:14:34

How many times have you not fancied or not finished all of your meal, but then gone on to have a bit of something else later onhmm

He's 2 fgs

rubyslippers Sat 01-Aug-09 20:17:41

if you feel mean then you aren't comfortable with what you have done

a 2.4 year old has no concept of what you have done or learning a lesson

i wouldn't eat a cold roast dinner - yuck

toast and a glass of milk or fruit is fine

K999 Sat 01-Aug-09 20:18:31

NannyL...I doubt they would eat dog shit if you 'put it down in front of them'...therefore your logic is flawed....

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