DS1 turns 12 next month, and as a rule is a pretty sensible boy,we have extended his boundaries and curfew recently with good results. Tonight he was at the park a couple of miles away and was supposed to start walking home with his friend at 8.30 to get home for 9.
9.15 comes and no sign of him,so DH rings and asks if he's nearly home. No, little bugger is still at the park!! DH gets in car to pick him up and DS rings to say he is on the way with a friend's parent.
So,I was prepared to have a chat about boundaries etc tomorrow (he has a friend sleeping over tonight) and then see he has a lovebite on either side of his neck.
I'm speechless TBH I told himto go to bed and we will talk tomorrow. Needless to say, he is grounded till they,ve gone, but please help me out here, I thought I had a couple of more years before this happened. What would you say? Have I given him too much freedom too young? He is the youngest in the school year (although quite mature for his age -or so I thought) and his mates are up to a year older and I didnt want himto feel left out IYSWIM.
I thought I had a couple of more years before this happened. I think you need to start having v serious convos with him about safe sex, relationships, stds etc etc now. my dp lost his virginity at 12, nr his 13 bday. You ds maybe no where near this, however things are obviously starting to interest him otherwise this wouldnt of happened.
I dont know what to advise but I just wanted to say please take this seriously and talk to him now, he may still be your baby boy, but hes growing up and fast.
Metella - every twelve year old I know has a boyfriend and I'm not talking full on snogging and groping but apparently yes they do kiss goodbye and hold hands. Is v sweet in lots of ways and better than some of the alternatives (oh the horrors!)
I know they all have on/off girlfriends, and I dont mind the odd snog <cringe>. We are quite open with him and have had the sex talk, a few nights ago we had the "If you start feeling urges, then carry condoms talk"
A few weeks ago,we passed someone that had a neck full of hickeys, and he commented how horrid it looked.
I asked himwho had given him them and he said X(girl's name) soI know he hasnt done it himself.
Sorry but I agree that I wouldn't let an 11 year old hang around the park until that time, either. My girls are 12 and 14 and as yet have shown no interest whatsoever in boys. I hate to hear 11 year olds etc claiming to have girlfriends/boyfriends: it makes me feel quite uncomfortable tbh.
I agree with the grounding until they are gone but the bigger issue imho is that he has broken your trust by not coming home when told to.
I wouldn't stress too much about a 12 year old being out til 8.30. Mine DS is kept on a tight rein, but is occasionally allowed to stay out this late if he's playing football with his friends - no biggie imo, but we live in a quiet residential area.
The love bites and snogging would really worry me though - you've done the right thing by grounding him, and a mother-son or father-son chat would def. be a good idea.
we were good kids, nice area etc but i distinctly remember people experimenting with lovebites etc when i was eleven and twelve etc. (not that i did, i was too geeky). the cooler kids did, most deffo, and none of them seem to ahve come to any great harm.
i wouldn't read too much into it, tbh. stewing good, talking without eye contact good (saying that you hope it was a girl, bad. imo).
Metella,he was not alone in the park, he was with a large group of friends. He is usually in at 8.30 but because of where he was/ who he was with/ light nights etc, we extended curfew for half an hour.