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I've decided to give up work and be a SAHM but I am having a wobble

(12 Posts)
PrincessToadstool Fri 31-Jul-09 13:09:03

I hate my job so much and attempts to find anything else are futile, there is nothing that fits and I am not prepared to work full-time

so I've made the decision to quit and have a few years at home, DS is 21 months.

But I am nervous too - it's one thing to be at home now while the weather is good but how will I keep from going insane in winter? How will I feed him properly and will he eat - currently he seems to eat so well at nursery (3 days) that I feel more relaxed on the other days if he doesn't eat much at home. What about when he drops his nap? Will it be awful?

I want to do this so much but I am worried I am going to be a bit crap at it

LyraSilvertongue Fri 31-Jul-09 13:11:55

In winter just make sure youm both have plenty to do and get out every day. Are you planning to have DC2? Now could be the time...

Lovemyshoes Fri 31-Jul-09 13:19:25

You are not going to be crap at it at all smile

I was a SAHM for 9 years and loved it. What I did with both of mine when they would rather play than eat was leave nibbles about for them, ie fruit, crackers etc.

As for winter, there is alot of things you can do.

Get wrapped up warm, go for a walk, come back have hot chocolate and curl up and watch a dvd.


Make cakes

Collect toilet roll holders and boxes over a period of time and make things

The list is endless.

SweetEm Fri 31-Jul-09 13:26:53

I doubt you'll be crap at it!

The trick is to spend a fair amount of time out of the house. Don't forget that children love something as simple as a trip on the bus or a trip to a cafe.

Accept that sometimes you will find being a SAHM a bit boring!

PrincessToadstool Fri 31-Jul-09 13:32:56

Lyra, not sure, bit of history but now thinking DS might be an only. So it may be that once he's at school, that's it...

Thanks lovemyshoes he does snack a lot actually whereas at nursery it is more meal-based so I may have unrealistic expectations of him polishing off an entire meal at home when he's had more in that morning than on a nursery day... I need to look at this I guess.

In my mind's eye I can picture us doing all that stuff, I am really loving this part of the toddler-phase, I struggled a bit this time last year so was initially pleased to go back to work but now I miss him so much and want to do so much more with him - I have two days off at the moment and they just vanish with a bit of housework, trip to the park, and a bit of chilling out really after both our busy starts to the week.

I have never really got into toddler groups but think being at home would encourage me more, throw in swimming and a couple of trips to the library and that's a lot outside the house isn't it? We have season tickets to a big farm/park nearby and have two playparks close to home, one with a pond.

Maybe it will be easier when he doesn't nap? Sometimes I make plans for the day and they go haywire because he sleeps - he is asleep right now - I had thought we could go to the farm but by the time he is up and had lunch, we have to leave at 4 to collect DP so the afternoons to get eaten up a bit.

PrincessToadstool Fri 31-Jul-09 13:34:16

Oops thanks SweetEm, yes I don't expect it to be riveting all the time, and I know as it is the drudge of housework, the boring repetitive tasks like washing up, putting away clothes, the things that are undone so quickly... but I also think nothing could be more demoralising and depressing than my current job... I hope!!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 31-Jul-09 13:48:39

Message withdrawn

cupcake78 Fri 31-Jul-09 14:25:45

Speaking from experience I think it all depends on the type of person you are. I also think both working and staying at home have there good and bad points and as long as you can understand that being at home with your children all day is lovely but (as per other thread) can get you down after a time. In the winter you've got to be creative and get cold/wet etc.

As to whether its better than being at work that all depends on how much you hate your job and how much you like staying at home.

I am an ambitious person and as much as I love my ds I get very frustrated by the lack of stimulation and being at home has affected my confidence. However I do know one other person who is a SAHM and she says loves it.

raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 15:06:51

If you realy want to stay at home as a positive choice rather than to avoid hated job - and theres nothing wrong with either- i was in that position-! you will love it im sure .Yes there may be boring days but make sure you get out in all weathers as it s literally good for you and enjoy ..I remember it as most liberting time ever- was off for 5 years ! I ended up doing childminding as well to inc income.I remember being on way to play group and thought no i dont fancy it - so went to rail sattion and got on a train with my ds to somewhere obscure - no one knew were we were and we were answerable to no body - you cant say that when at work - which sadly im now back at !!!!all the best and wish it was me again...................

misshardbroom Fri 31-Jul-09 19:50:41

I had 6 years as a SAHM before going back to work p/t, and I still work from home, so count myself amongst the SAHM massive!

I'd echo what earlier posters have said about making sure you get out of the house every day, and having some structure to your day.

Dropping the nap is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you're less at the mercy of their routine, so can do things more spontaneously. On the other hand, I used to feel as though nap time was my 'lunch break', and could use it to eat in peace, flick through the paper, MN obsessively etc.

My biggest piece of advice is to make sure there's something in the week that you do for you. Not some wishy-washy candle-lit bath and read 'Hello' time, but a proper thing you do. Maybe something sporty, or a regular night out with friends, or something voluntary... whatever floats your boat, but something so that you have some independent life as an adult, away from your home and child.

Greatfun Fri 31-Jul-09 20:11:39

I have been a SAHM for almost 2 years and have to say sometimes it drives me mad. However, I have 2 pre schoolers so that does make a slight difference. Liek others have said except that young children are not always that riveting and you can sometimes feel quite isolated. I make sure I get out everyday but try not to do more than one thing. We normally go out in the morning and then have chilling time in the afternoon. Activities can include going to the local park or farm, going to a different park (I can get quite excited about this), the library, a playgroup (find one you like - I can only go once a week as its not my thing but the DCs love it), nature hunts, baking, making jelly, painting,swimming, watching TV, reading, long walks with the DCs in the buggy, train/bus to different locations and try and make some friends. I met people via netmums. I have to say the last one hasn't been that successful for me. I haven't met anyone I really click with but have met enough people to while away the afternoon once a week which seems OK to me. At the beginning I used to spend lots of time with other people but founf they annoyed me too much blush so now I see others maybe once or twice a week and the rest of time just me. I also go to a dance class once a week without the DCs which I literally live for! Good luck and enjoy.

Greatfun Fri 31-Jul-09 20:12:40

Excuse typos and I meant accept not except!

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