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Has anyone had a fall out with friend over parenting styles ???

(14 Posts)
raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 12:35:16

My good freind and I have had to gently part company -she has ds same age as me and whenever they had a fall -out- as ds do in my book-she wanted to discuss it in a therapy type way and i just found it too much ,whilst she thought that I was refusing to discuss issues,,,,eg ds took a toy car - my ds got told off - i thought that was appropriate - my freind wanted to discuss the dynamic between the boys etc etc- I am well educated but i felt rather foolish when i was told i was refusing to discuss stuff ,when to me it was simply a difference of opinion and ways of handling stuff, and both were valid ....i do miss my friend, but i did not feel that i could subject my ds to something i did not feel appropriate.i felt that he needed to know do things wrong ,learn and move on not analyse it in that way.I would like to move forward but she says she cant until I hear what she needs to say -and presumably take it on board.Anyone else had similar....

purpleduck Fri 31-Jul-09 12:51:26

jesus no! I'd be surprised if anyone had similar to THAT!!

I have friends who have different parenting styles. It was touch and go for one of my friends and I - we foolishly went on holiday together and our friendship very nearly didn't make it.

It gets easier as children get older - I think these things are more pronounced when they are small.

raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 12:56:08

Thanks for reply - i did wonder if i was going a bit bonkers !!!! well i am bonkersish but in a down to earth way i hope!!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Fri 31-Jul-09 13:01:00

I have had to back of from another friend a little due to her inappropriate parenting style, which is very hands off! Along with her continuous moralising and telling me how to be a parent (says the friend at midday with a can in her hand hmm.

Such a shame for DD as she gets on fantastically with the little boy. But I felt it so wrong being lectured on my parenting style by a person with that parenting style!

Mumcentreplus Fri 31-Jul-09 13:12:56

Pav..just invite her son around for playdates etc don't let your DD lose a friend too..or are they a package?

19fran76 Fri 31-Jul-09 13:17:27

Never mind that Pav, when are we going to hook up again so I can appraise your parenting style? grin

OP - You sound perfectly sane to me FWIW wink

CybilLiberty Fri 31-Jul-09 13:20:30

Nothing highlights the differences betwen adults more than their parenting style IMO.

Friends (and family members) I thought I had lots in common with are miles away from me in terms of parenting.

I have turned down joint holidays because I know I can't handle how they handle (or don't handle) their own children .They all drive me nuts.

Whilst I, am practically perfect in every way grin.

luckylady74 Fri 31-Jul-09 13:23:38

I've only disagreed in my head- not brave enough out loud. I just spend less time with mums who do that kind of thing!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Fri 31-Jul-09 16:13:13

mum yes, we do actually, it means us driving miles picking him up spending the day with him driving him back. But it makes DD happy. And if it makes DD happy, it makes me happy grin and gives me a good excuse to bitch about it lol!

fran we must drink coffee and discuss parenting styles in person! I spoke to Devendra the other day and she agreed we must meet - shall I start another meetup thread/bring the other one back? I reckon Fun Fort or somewhere. Coffee is wet and warm rather than gourmet french, but the kids can run (well of course not yours, unless she has developed uber fast!)

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Fri 31-Jul-09 16:14:48

Cybil you have the wrong name luv. It should be mary wink grin

claireybee Fri 31-Jul-09 16:19:11

I have friends I can't spend too much time with because we do things so differently but haven't actually fallen out with anyone. One friend in particular likes to tell everyone how to do things her (dubious) way but I just ignore her and don't take what she says to heart

cat64 Fri 31-Jul-09 16:39:59

Message withdrawn

19fran76 Fri 31-Jul-09 21:57:08

Pav, whadday'mean bring it back? I'm still pacing around talking to myself on it grin See ya over there to discuss further.

Apologies to all the other good people on this thread. I fear my daughter will grow up like me - interrupting enthusiastically & inappropriately. Thank God there will be someone out there with a different parenting style ready to correct us wink

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Fri 31-Jul-09 22:00:43

yes
friend of nearly 30 years and i parted ways as we were so different at parenting and she would try to get my dd to do all the things she knew i did not want her to do i.e swear,give cheek,eat lots of sweets - just to wind me up. I realised she was no friend at all

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