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What time do you put a 6 yr old to bed?

(36 Posts)
sahara Mon 23-May-05 19:58:46

Hi all, My ds1 is 6 (7 in July) and currently I put him to bed at 9pm in the week and 10pm on the weekend.

I'm really not happy with this arrangement, Dh's idea not mine . I feel like I get no time to myself at all because he is awake and demanding everything he can think of.

Then when I do send him to bed he comes back and forth, sometimes until 12 at night wanting to eat, or a drink etc.

I know how to stop the coming down part but what is a fair bedtime at his age?

Just wanted to know how others did it as I am at a loss.

NomDePlume Mon 23-May-05 20:05:28

9PM & 10pm is VERY late for a 6 year old IMO. My 11.5 & 13 year old DSs go to bed at 9.30pm on school nights and are up at 7am.

I would say that 8pm - 8.30pm is plenty late enough for a 6 year olds bedtime, depending on how much sleep he/she naturally needs.

NomDePlume Mon 23-May-05 20:06:55

I've not really got any ideas how to drop the bedtime down (without changing the clocks in the bedroom etc for a bit to fool him into thinking it's bedtime).

NomDePlume Mon 23-May-05 20:06:55

I've not really got any ideas how to drop the bedtime down (without changing the clocks in the bedroom etc for a bit to fool him into thinking it's bedtime).

trefusis Mon 23-May-05 20:08:57

Message withdrawn

pleaserewind Mon 23-May-05 20:13:10

ds1 (9) goes to bed at 8pm and reads until 8:30pm on a school night except for monday and tuesday when he does cubs and youth club( they finish at 8:30)
ds2 (6) goes to bed at 7:30pm

WideWebWitch Mon 23-May-05 20:13:21

Blimey, my 7.5 yo goes at 7.30-8pm in the week or a bit later (but not much unless say we were out somewhere and even then we prob wouldn't be out much later because of 18mo dd) at the weekend. My ds wakes at 7am ish, sometimes a bit earlier but only because he shares a room with dd, who wakes at 6am. Sometimes he sleeps well over that, sometimes not.

WideWebWitch Mon 23-May-05 20:14:46

Oh and I'd just tell him his bedtime is changing because he needs more sleep and that's that. DH has to back you up big time though. It would drive me mad, a child being up that late, WE go at 10.30 so would never get any adult time if ds was up then.

debs26 Mon 23-May-05 20:15:27

a 6 year old will understand if you tell him you are trying a new routine. we have pyjamas on at 6.30pm, then have hot chocolate and watch bagpuss, ivor the engine or clangers (all v restful) til about 7. stories til 7.15 - 7.30 (depending on how many i can be bothered reading), then ds2 (age 4) goes to bed. ds1 (6) goes about 30mins later (or when ds2 is asleep). staggered bedtime works because they have to share and are up all night partying if one isnt asleep when the other goes up! once there they can only get out of bed for the loo or an emergency. if they want a drink there is a cup of water in their room so no excuses for coming down

ScummyMummy Mon 23-May-05 20:15:56

Mine go between 7 and 8. Why do you think your dh wants him up so late? Does he work late or something?

roisin Mon 23-May-05 20:17:51

DS2 (just 6) goes at 6pm, lights off at 7 pm.
DS1 (nearly 8) goes at 7 pm, lights off at 8.30 pm.

Having said that ds2 is going through a phase of stubbornly not going to sleep, which is driving me crackers.

vickiyumyum Mon 23-May-05 20:19:54

my ds 1 is 7 and goes to bed at 7 and is allowed to read for half an hour before lights out, this is mainly because we have to get up at 6.30 so i need to make sure that he has enough sleep.

at the weekend he is allowed to stay up until about 9 - 9.30 ish depending on his behaviour, if hes misbehaving he will go to bed earlier.

ds2 who is 3 goes to bed at 7 in the week and about 8 at the weekends as he gets really grumpy if he stays up past 8.

KBear Mon 23-May-05 20:19:59

My DD is 6 - our routine is roughly this - dinner between 5-6pm - bath around 6.30. In PJ's by 7 and in bed running through spellings and school book. Stories until 7.30-ish then she listens to story tapes but she usually falls asleep after ten minutes. That might be the incentive your DS needs to get to bed earlier, promise his story tapes, go the library, let him choose. Should work.

I love my children dearly but after 8pm I like my own time for me and DH or just me!

TinyGang Mon 23-May-05 20:26:30

My dd is 6.5 and we aim to have everyone in bed (incl 3.5 yr old dd and ds) for around 7 (sometimes 7.30 if we're running late). That way we have time to tidy round and have a bit of evening to ourselves.

Older dd doesn't object about gong to bed the same time as her younger brother and sister, but when she's 7yrs old I think we might move her bedtime to 7.30 in recognition of the fact that she's older and more grown up. At weekends we are a little bit more relaxed and they are allowed to stay up a later if there is something going on, or a special (suitable!)programme on television. We don't let them go to bed too late even then though; more because we want some time to ourselves than anything! When we go away on holiday it's a totally different story and they do have some quite late nights so that they can enjoy the entertainment with us, but that's just a holiday treat.

I think a regular bedtime of 9 and 10pm would be too late for both us and the children. We all need a break and a rest after a certain point in the day. Also, I don't think the children would last well during the day at school and pre-school with a late bedtime.

Posey Mon 23-May-05 20:28:23

My dd was going to bed at 7, lights off at 7.30 at the age of 6. If she kept wandering down, as would happen from time to time (she would try it on a bit) I would only allow books, no toys, nothing noisy, no games, make it dull, dull, dull. "Its grown up time" I would repeat til I got bored with saying it. The habit never lasted, evenings downstairs with the parents is no fun, not like in the day. Now, at nearly 8, she very rarely gets up after lights out, and if she does, its for a good reason.

serenity Mon 23-May-05 20:34:53

All three of mine are in bed at 8 during the week (so DS1 7, DS2 almost 5 and DD 19mths) DSs are allowed (so called) quiet reading until 8.30 when the light goes out. DS1 is usually asleep pretty quickly, but DS2 is sometimes awake until 9 or later, so long as he's in bed thats fine. we don't tend to go to bed until 12 or 1, so we have plenty of adult time.

elastamum Mon 23-May-05 20:38:16

My two are upstairs for bath at 7ish and in bed by 8pm. DS2 who is four goes straight to sleep and I have just put DS1's light out. This works for us, any earlier then the little one is up at 6am

soapbox Mon 23-May-05 20:44:11

My 2 (5 and 6) go up to bed at 7.45 and get 15 mins 'goldentime' where they must be in bed and do something quiet like reading a book/writing stories or playing quietly with a small toy.

They get 2 mins cuddles each at 8pm then its lights off. The 5YO is always asleep straight away the 6yo takes about 15 mins or so to go off.

If they get out of bed during goldentime or afterwards then they lose goldentime from the following night!

They can also lose goldentime if they have been really awful during the day!

Seems to work quite well - couldn't bear another minute of the up and down teh stairs thing - and that little whiny voices - 'I can't get to sleep', 'I need a drink', 'I'm hungry'

I think you just need to get firm and always enforce the boundaries you set!

bigdonna Mon 23-May-05 22:02:11

my 6 yr old gos at 7.30 and my nearly 8 yr old gos at 7.45.6yr old needs to go to sleep nearly 8 yr old reads until 9.usually asleep by 9.we did have sticker charts for behaviour in general no calling down ,staying in bed all night.etc etc they needed 10 stars to get a treat .

Gwenick Mon 23-May-05 22:06:56

DS1 (4.5yrs) and DS2 (18 months) both go to bed at 8pm - it's just a time 'we' were comfortable with (we don't sleep until gone midnight most nights so still plenty of "Us" and "me" time for us both. I should imagine it'll stay that way for quite some time as they share a bedroom

SleepyJess Mon 23-May-05 22:08:04

My six year old goes to bed between 7 and 7.30 every school night but Tuesday when she swims from 8 - 9.

SJ x

sahara Mon 23-May-05 22:20:44

I have read all of your threads and you are all right.

It seems the general concesus is between 7-8pm so I will try to implement a routine change for him. I think in bed at 7.30pm and lights out at 8.

I like the goldentime idea, might give that a try.

Thank you all.

youngmama Tue 24-May-05 19:03:20

My ds(5.2) and dd1(3.4) are in bed for 7:30,I read a story,usually finished at 7:40-7:45,dd goe straight to sleep at 7:50.DS has lights out at 8pm usually asleep by 8:10.
dd2(15 months) goes to bed at 7:15

magnolia1 Wed 25-May-05 22:21:48

Katie (23m) goes at 7pm, Danni and Kira (both 5) go at 7pm aswell and I read a story till about 7.15pm and no noise after 7.30pm. Jade (9) goes at 8-8.30pm depending on how much she is chatting and driving me up the wall!!

HappyMumof2 Thu 26-May-05 12:26:25

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