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21 month DS cries all the time at nursery

(17 Posts)
Betsy07 Wed 29-Jul-09 10:03:46


I just started( 4 weeks) nursery for my DS and he cries the moment I drop him off til I pick him.It seems he stops crying to catch his breath He goes twice a week 8am-1pm.But I pick him up at 1130am as I can't bear to hear him cry. He clings to a staff and won't play with any toys or anyone. When I call up every hour I can hear him crying in the background. He refuses to drink or eat anything. However when I come to pick him up he stops crying and starts chatting with the staff, smiles and waves goodbye to them. I know it's only been 4 weeks. Should I persist for a bit longer?

Mummywannabe Wed 29-Jul-09 11:14:45

Feeling your pain betsy, my ds cries all day ( and i work there so can here him from my office- i'm the nursery manager)sad.

In these situations i would suggest some extra visits over a week or two (perhaps 4 times a week) but only for 30mins or so and build up. After this if he is still unhappy perhaps nursery is not for him.

Just getting to that point with my Ds (13mths), upping his days to 2 in sept and hoping that will help (i know 1 day a week is not ideal). If i pull him out i have the added worry of how that looks to other parents too.

Good luck.

ommmward Wed 29-Jul-09 17:11:57

I'd take him out if you possibly can. Try again in 6 months or a year if you really want to. But really, he's getting nothing positive from it at this point is he?

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 17:14:22

How old is he? How far apart are the sessions?

8 sessions of only a couple hours duration really isn't going to help him settle in fast, can you change it or even add in another session?

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 17:14:48

ok ignore first Q just seen it in title blush

onepieceoflollipop Wed 29-Jul-09 17:16:36

Just wanted to add sympathy. Our dd1 loved nursery. Dd2 was a different matter; in the end we had to move her to a cm, which has turned out the best option for everyone. The nursery supported me as they accepted she just found the whole nursery environment overwhelming.

My gut instinct was that nursery wasn't right for her. sad

MrsBeakman Wed 29-Jul-09 18:25:40

It doesn't sound like he is ready for nursery yet. I'd take him out. If you are working and need him to be in chidcare, then a childminder might suit him better? If you aren't working and just wanted him to socialise, then toddler groups with you there might be a better option.

Betsy07 Wed 29-Jul-09 23:54:16

Thanks everyone.I don't work & the main reason is for me to get time to get stuff done around the house. We moved a year ago and there are boxes to be unpacked.DS doesn't play by himself.He needs me next to him all the time.

DS goes to playgroup & plays alongside with tots for a bit and than he looks for me and wants me to play with him. I was hoping by going to nursery he would be a little independent.

He goes in wed and fri. We can only afford 2 sessions.He did have settling in periods. Today I went to pick him up and to my amazement he was sitting down on the dining table eating & drinking.Usually he would be crying. But I was told he had stopped crying 5 mins before I arrived.

I think I will persist for a couple more sessions and if there is no progress I will take him out.

AvadaKedavra Thu 30-Jul-09 22:17:15

That sounds encouraging Betsy

hester Thu 30-Jul-09 22:19:48

Sounds like a good plan, Betsy.

seeker Thu 30-Jul-09 22:20:58

If he doesn't have to go for your work or mental health (!) take him out - he's only little!

mrsruffallo Thu 30-Jul-09 22:23:23

I wouldn't take him back, especially as you don't really need to

hester Thu 30-Jul-09 22:30:21

I suppose I would worry with a child that age that, as he can't explain to you how he's feeling, his silence now may be giving up rather than feeling happier.

On reflection, I'm with mrsruffallo and keep him with you for another few months. Could you use the money to pay for some home help instead?

AvadaKedavra Thu 30-Jul-09 23:06:45

Rather that his "silence" is him settling in finally hmm

MrsBeakman Thu 30-Jul-09 23:16:44

He was only silent for the last 5 minutes though, so presumably had cried until lunchtime. That is a very long time.

zuzkah Fri 31-Jul-09 12:49:41

Hi. If you want to keep him in the nursery I would suggest two consequent days. It is better than two apart and children usually settle better in that routine. Good luck

Betsy07 Sun 02-Aug-09 01:02:12

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your support. I spoke to the manager on Friday and she suggested I should bring DS in for more days for an hour to see if that would settle him. If that doesn't work to try and move him to a smaller class. According to DS's main carer DS seems to cry less with less tots.

If all that fails, I will take him out of nursery.

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