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At work and have nothing to do - feel terrible leaving DS

(11 Posts)
Gateau Tue 21-Jul-09 09:01:20

For ages now at work (I work three days in a well-paid, skilled job)it's been really quiet - a couple of contracts have lapsed. I've asked and asked and asked for stuff to do but there is just nothing. SO, for most of the time my days are quite empty and I use them to catch up on personal stuff, MN, look at other websites, or think of ideas for a book. All in all, pretty crap and a total waste of my skills. No point in leaving now though as I will be going on mat leave in October. And we need the money.
The thing is I feel really guilty leaving DS (2.3) for such meaningless days. DH looks after him on one day - that's fine but I still wish I was there - and the other two days he goes to nursery which he does love. Doesn't mean I don't wish I was spending time with him instead of sitting here bored, though.
People tell me I should just use the time at work to relax - I don't and certainly won't get much time to relax come October - and be happy that I'm doing nothing for a good salary. But I feel useless, and most importantly of all, feel awful leaving DS.
Ironic thing is, I practically skipped back to work when DS was 10.5 months old; it's now that I really wish I was with him.
Anyone in a similiar position?

LittleMissTuffet Tue 21-Jul-09 09:25:29

I'm a SAHM but remember having a job where I was frequently paid to do virtually nothing - it can be soul-destroying. Your days may feel meaningless but your DS's aren't as he's having time with his dad and his friends at nursery.

Maybe you should count your blessings. a well paid part-time job in a recession, a healthy, happy boy, a new baby on the way and the luxury of taking time off with them in October.

Or you could just chuck some sickies smile

Good luck.

Gateau Tue 21-Jul-09 09:32:55

You're right: I should count my blessings. I miss DS, though.

PrincessToadstool Tue 21-Jul-09 10:17:41

Gateau I sympathise, I went back to work when my DS was 10 months - nearly a year on I find myself frustrated with boredom at work, no one cares so I am pretty stuck. I was glad to go back and found that stage of DS's development quite a struggle so was pleased of the break - but now I miss him like crazy when I'm at work, it's hard knowing he is downstairs playing while I am twiddling my thumbs (and MN is blocked at work shock)

I am looking for another job but part time ones I can travel to are few and far between, if I don't find one soon I will just quit and work out the finances somehow.

But your situation is clearly different - I'd focus on the positives like LittleMissTuffet says but I know how hard that is when the day stretches ahead... can you take some parental leave? Maybe have a couple of weeks with just you and DS before you are so heavily pregnant that things are more of a struggle?

HensMum Tue 21-Jul-09 10:21:42

Yeah, me. Work is really, really quiet at the moment and not likely to pick up. I need another job but there's nothing out there at the moment (well nothing part time that pays what my current job does)

I'm lucky to have a job I really hate leaving DS to come to the office and do nothing. Especially as there's loads I could be doing at home. Total waste of time.

Gateau Tue 21-Jul-09 10:41:57

Thanks Princess and Hens Mum for replying. So it's not just me then.
You hit the nail on the head there, Priness: "nobody cares." Ditto here. It's as if I don't exist since I went part-time. At least if there was a bit of banter at the office it wouldn't be so bad, but where I'm sitting I'm pretty excluded from any that there is - and that isn't much. Just feel so useless when I come in here, like a real non-entity. Days at home with DS are so much more fulfilling.
And like you said Hensmum, you just sit and constantly think of what you could be doing at home; both with DS and around the house.
Maybe I should bring in my mountain of ironing. wink

HensMum Tue 21-Jul-09 10:50:10

Feeling useless is horrible isn't it? Looking after DS can be hard work but it is work and I feel useful when I'm doing it.

HolidaysQueen Tue 21-Jul-09 10:52:57

Hi Gateau - I am in a similar position. Went back to 3 day a week role in well-paid, skilled job when DS was 11mo. First 3 months were hard as work was really really quiet and I questioned what I was doing and resented being away from DS and thought I was doing the wrong thing, but the last month has been great as I have had a really challenging project to get my teeth into. I think, as do some other friends I've spoken to, that it is actually easier to do a challenging job when you have kids than sit around twiddling your thumbs - that just makes you fret about being away from them!

In the absence of work giving you anything, is there anything you can do to create a project - I effectively muscled my way into this project and made it bigger (and better ) than it was originally planned to be because I knew I needed the challenge. Is there something you've always wanted to do at work, or wanted to suggest as a new project etc, that you could now perhaps spend a bit of time on while it's quiet?

Failing that, you only have 3 months left before mat leave, so perhaps just try and count your blessings about being well paid and having an easy time of it. That's what I try to do when work is a bit quiet, although it doesn't always help.

Gateau Tue 21-Jul-09 10:57:06

Holidays, have exhausted all possibilities at work, but am now thiking of ideas for a book, which I have always wanted to write.

HolidaysQueen Tue 21-Jul-09 11:20:43

Then I would say divert that MN time to the book I've spent a lot of my downtime at work getting together my life plan as I don't want to be here much longer but had no ideas about what I wanted to do. I've tried to see it as a positive that I've got the time and space to sit down with a cuppa and do it whereas at home with a toddler I'm never able to think further ahead than the next meal/nap/tantrum/bedtime. And actually I have managed to get quite far in my planning, which has surprised me, so I do have a bit of a plan now with regards to leaving, more kids, future career opps etc.

Don't feel guilty about using the time like that - if you've asked and asked, and work is not giving you anything then I don't think they can complain if you spend their time doing other things so long as you are ready and available to jump back into work-mode as soon as they give you something to do.

LittleMissTuffet Tue 21-Jul-09 13:49:17

What about "thanks Miss Litlle Tuffet for replying"? I was first grin

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