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So what is the ideal age gap?

(9 Posts)
Frasersmum123 Wed 15-Jul-09 14:49:13

TBH i dont think there is a right answer, but everyone seems to have an opinion.

For example we have a 6 year gap between ds and ds2, then 18 months between ds2 and DD, so we always get 'oh thats a big gap and then a small one', but I dont understand why it bothers people so much.

So what does society accept as the right age gap?

Gateau Wed 15-Jul-09 15:14:07

What has been the best for you, frasersmum?

ilovetochat Wed 15-Jul-09 15:16:53

for me anything less than 3 years would be too small, i have 1 dd who is 2.
i dont want 2 in nappies, double buggy and id like dd in nursery so i get a bit of time with a newborn and she gets attention/social time to compensate for me being busy.

Gateau Wed 15-Jul-09 15:22:20

I think it's totally subjective. I know people who think three years is too big a gap, others who think 15 months is too small and others who think 2.6 is a nightmare - which is what I'll have - and then you hear the opinions of all those who think these are ideal!

BarefootShirl Wed 15-Jul-09 15:40:27

Although not really planned, I think the 28 month gap between DD & DS has worked quite well - long enough for us to come to terms with parenting (though I'm sure I'll never be rally good at it smile) but short enough for them to play and grow up together.

pulapula Wed 15-Jul-09 15:42:06

There is 2.6 years between my DD and DS1, and 23mo between DS1 and DS2. I think 2.6 was easier as DD was that little bit older/out of nappies etc. It's hard work with 3 under 5, but i wanted close age gaps so they have more in common/can play together.

katedan Wed 15-Jul-09 17:53:20

I always have a quiet laugh to myself when the subject of ideal age gaps is discussed. DH and I planned to have 2.5yr age gap between children and thought our friends who went for two close together were mad! but they had the last laugh!! DC1 was 3.5yrs old when we finally extended our family due to two miscarriages, it then turned out that DC 2 was ID twins so we ended up with DD2 and 3 one minute apart in age!!! that was hard work but great fun. My advice is don't plan too much as mother nature has her own ideas!

Frasersmum123 Wed 15-Jul-09 22:30:15

Actually I think the 6 years is too lon, and the 18 months might be a little too short, but thats how it works out. I had 2 M/C and unexplained fertility between DS1 and DS2, so when we thought about trying again we thought we would take our time and not get too stressed and I got PG the next month.

I agree that it depends on the family, im not planning to have any more though, so I dont really need to worry. I was only asking opinions as evertyone seems to have one

AppleandMosesMummy Wed 15-Jul-09 22:45:03

If I could do it all again I'd go for 4 year gaps to get each child ready and launched into school before the next one arrived and to give myself a chance to recover from the expense and avoid two in nappies, double buggies etc.
I look back and do not know how we survived 3 under 4 and wonder if we wouldn't have enjoyed it all a bit more had we been less stressed all the time.
It goes so quickly I think pacing yourself is a good thing.

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